Is rudeness subjective?

How is making conversation being hit on, are women that amazing every single man cant speak to them withougt having an ulterior motive, with thinking like this I feel sorry for any male who you know who cant speak to a women without express permission incase she thinks he wants a shag

Yes of course no man should ever speak to a woman unless she has a male chaperone who can provide permission, any man doing so should pull up his pantaloons and shuffle away

I know right. No woman has to put up with being hit on especially when they aren't interested and haven't given any kind of signal that they are. I'd love to know what it is that makes these men do it, are they interpreting something completely wrong or just so egotistical that they think any woman would be glad of their attempt 🤔

Your last sentence sums it up lovely in most cases I find.

I somehow give out vibes to any nutter in the area that I'm up for a chat😅 drives me insane but sometimes I think a lot of people are so lonely that a 2 minute chat isn't harming anyone so why not🤷 though OP you were not rude, especially when it's a blatant chat up

I think we need to do a secret experiment where a man and a separate woman go out in public wearing a sport shirt or a band t-shirt and count how many random men strangers engage in conversation with them both . Also, their reactions when either of them politely ignore these interactions 🤔 it'd be totally predictable interesting I reckon.

I'm going to take this wider. YANBU, OP, and rudeness is often subjective. Not always: some things are rude by any standard. Road ragers, for example.

I think people are becoming ruder to others while taking offence too easily - so calling everyone else rude, yet being none too polite themselves. These may not always be the same people, I realise, I don't keep track of everybody!

In the many current discussions about low-level sniping, bullying, etc on Mumsnet, there are some rather strange complaints.
~ If you comment on a thread full of parents commiserating on the trials of having children, saying how much you adore your little bundle of joy, you should expect gales of laughter. You aren't entitled to gushing agreement from worn-out mums, who are entitled to vent amongst themselves.
~ If people are talking about their grandmothers, you aren't entitled to an apology or a fucking trigger warning because your gran died last week.
~ It is not rude to disagree with you on any subject. If someone says they think your opinion's stupid, or what you did was stupid, that's not rude.
~ If they say you are stupid, that's rude. But you might want to ask them how so, before getting your knickers in a twist.

There used to be lively discussions on here about PARD - polite and reasonable debate. It needs to come back; people need to take a moment to think whether exploding is the most useful thing they could do right now. Hint: it very rarely is.

I don't agree with this. Obviously OP doesn't have to talk to them if she doesn't want to, and has every right to shut down the chatter, that's fine.

But I don't consider a person (a man or a woman) striking a conversation is being rude, as long as they're well mannered, polite and don't kick off if you don't want to engage.

I dont consider that I owe randoms anything and that goes for neighbours. I do exchange pleasantries with some people who come to my door, like the Tesco delivery man or the postie. However they are doing me a service so there is an excuse for the interaction. Strangers who knock on my door without an appointment are 99.9% likely to get ignored. I no longer walk around in public because of mobility issues. When I did I often took little account of others. Im a great believer in minding my own business.

I think it’s rude that random men approach expecting engagement in their inane conversation. Why do they think that women are remotely interested in what they have to say!

I have been known to say, "Excuse me, have we been introduced?"
All that reading of 19th century novels does come in useful.

I don't think it's rude to shut down conversation you don't want to have with a stranger. I do think rudeness is subjective though, my mam would think it the height of rudeness to dismiss someone trying to have a chat, I consider it normal.

I must put out some serious "fuck off" vibes though because this never happens to me, even on days I would be open to a chinwag lmao

Two different questions. Yes rudeness is subjective as it’s clearly cultural and different in different societies/groups.

No, you were not being rude in your response to these men. You were polite but just not interested, which is absolutely your right.

It can be. You don't owe anyone conversation, or your time, as such. We (women) are usually good at knowing a genuine man, rather than a older man just wanting an excuse to chat to a younger woman.

Of course rudeness is subjective. Some people (often but not always men) think any stranger who doesn’t let them talk at them interminably is rude. See also men who randomly shout aggressive ‘greetings’ at you in the street and then call you a bitch for not smiling / responding / stopping for a chat.

You were being perfectly reasonable in your responses IMO.