To be upset with what my friend said?

Well done @Blueybingomum You've done brilliantly!

And as pps have said, no way is 4 stone not noticeable. Unless you're 6 ft 6, and were 36 stone!!!

Joking aside, I agree with the posters saying it's never great to fish for compliments. I never do because I hate getting them. I guess you asked her just because you were surprised she hadn't said anything yet?

Probably best to wait in future, for people to say something first. It's very unlikely that your friend hasn't noticed your weight loss though. Sounds like she's a bit jealous to be honest.

Go YOU though. You should be proud of yourself. 🤗

Is she also overweight? It’s common for people who are to be jealous when someone successfully loses weight. I lost 7 stone years ago and my mum always commented on how ‘skeletal’ I was and how I had no bum. I was the healthiest I’d ever been, she just didn’t like it because she’s yo-yo’d her entire life and never lost weight in a sustainable way.

I wouldn’t pay any attention, there’s just no way a 4 stone loss isn’t noticeable! You’ve done a great job, keep it up.

Honestly, you can’t necessarily tell - it really depends on how much the person weighed to begin with, where they’ve lost the weight from, how they dress, how they hold themselves and how often you see each other.

If you watch a lot of those programmes about weight and obesity, people will come on having dropped dress sizes etc. but the difference in their actual bodies isn’t actually that noticeable when they’re dressed etc.

Well done!

If it was someone who's usually lovely I would assume she was being nasty. She genuinely didn't notice. Most probably because she isn't very appearance focussed.

If she's obsessed with her own weight and always talking about weight loss and diets then I can't imagine why she wouldn't say something positive unless she was jealous.

No, why would you want to be lied to. I find it very difficult to lie. I worry I will come across fake. So I don't do fake niceties. If I don't think you look nice I won't say 'you look nice' because I think that will sound very fake.

There is absolutely no unwritten expectation to lie, or am I ND? I think I am but too old to be diagnosed.

I value honesty. Also, if you ask a direct question you cannot be upset you get a truthful answer.

Does this not make you realise you can trust that friend and find her more valuable?

How is this friend meant to know when she is and isn't supposed to lie?

I lost 5 stone and when I mentioned it my friend said " not that you'd notice. You're still big". I wasn't,I was at target weight. She's now an ex friend.

Of course she can tell, I'm tall but a loss of 4 stone would be very noticeable, more so if someone is shorter.

Like many things, I think people’s powers of observation exist on a spectrum.

I know someone who notices the kind of socks a stranger is wearing when they’re ten people ahead of them in a queue, and someone who doesn’t notice that their other-half has decorated the house for Christmas and that they’re now sitting next to a brightly lit Christmas tree when watching tv 😁
Both women btw, both very caring people.

How often does she see you? When you see people very regularly you adjust to the little changes. If you don't see people often it's easier to notice differences.

Nonsense. OP certainly shouldn't apologise. And I call bullshit on the friend 'not noticing'.

I think it is a flaw, to be honest. I live inside my mind a lot as well, but I also notice what is going on with other people. People on here are the first to have a go at men who 'don't notice' what needs to be done in the house, for example. Part of living in society is noticing what goes on around you, not living in a perpetual dream world.

My weight loss didn't show for months, but then I also didn't ask anyone if they could see it. People did say when they saw it though.

WRT the best friend's answer, I would expect my bestie to be honest with me even if it wasn't something I wanted to hear.

OP, I hope from the replies you have learned that your friend would not be abnormal to not notice your weight loss, especially if she sees you frequently.
Also that you put her on the spot which is unkind.
And now you are looking on her badly because she was honest when you used her on your compliment fishing trip.

Please apologise to her and explain. She is probably feeling awkward and wondering if you are going to have a problem with her.

Alternatively, when you lose another 4 stone you can enjoy the friendship of people who suddenly consider you friend material because you are lighter.
Just know they may be fairweather friends if you ever get heavier again, unlike your current friend who isn't focussed on that.

Anyway, well done on losing the weight, it's a big acheivement. I am sure you feel better and look better to yourself.

It’s rude to go fishing for compliments as you have done. Instead you could have said how happy you were on the injections and how you have lost 4 stone on them. She would likely then have congratulated you on your achievement.

There was no need to ask for her to comment
on your body.

It’s entirely possible she hasn’t noticed - lots of people really don’t pay attention to weight, and if you see someone everyday, it can be hard to notice any changes.

That said, she could have been a bit more diplomatic!

To be honest, even it was it would still be noticeable. I've a friend about that weight who has lost 7 stone and I noticed at 2-3stone

Absolutely do not agree with this at all.

I don't notice lots of stuff. I am someone who tends to live inside my mind a lot and I don't go around noticing and assessing what other people are up to. This isn't a flaw, people are just different. However, I do think attributing negative characteristics to someone who isn't just like you is a major flaw.

I am also weight blind especially if I see the person regularly. Asking questions like that on the spot fill me with dread(sorry) if she said yes would you have wanted to talk about how you lost it? It’s one of those conversations that can be forced on someone and it’s not very interesting.

well done on the weight loss.

I agree with you, I think people think it makes them sound deep and focused on the person, when actually it makes them sound self absorbed and not paying any attention to others.

Some people just aren’t very observant. It’s not because they’re self obsessed or anything.

Exactly. I think that people think it comes across as being above such trivial things, but actually it is weird and as you say self absorbed. I would also wonder what on earth else they didn't notice.

How? I'm curious as to how people don't notice something so obvious. Unless the person was an absolute wizard at dressing to look smaller, which I suppose is just possible. Still, surely the face also looks different?

I know this is a different situation because OP asked her friend directly, but I’d never mention weight loss to someone.

I once bumped into an acquaintance who’d clearly lost a lot of weight and looked well (she’d been quite heavy before). I was going to mention it, but didn’t as I was worried that would indirectly say she’d been overweight before. I later found out she’d lost the weight because she had terminal cancer.

Not to notice that amount of weight drop? No, not a nice friend.