Page 6 | First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

India87 · 2025-11-16T20:02:58+00:00

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/11/2025 00:12

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 16/11/2025 23:58

Vibrators for use on women either solo or with a partner are pretty mainstream. Cock rings for men, too, though slightly less common.

The gimp-mask-dildo whatever the fuck it is, is very much not mainstream. Consent around it had NOT been established, and surprise and disgust is a perfectly reasonable reaction to somebody springing a surprise gimp-mask-dildo on you.

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I think dildo-gimp-mask is correct, if you don't mind me being pedantic. 😁

Stravaig · 17/11/2025 00:07

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 17/11/2025 00:01

Because of the ick factor. You can't grow a new penis for a new partner, but ffs you can buy a new dildo. And because men in general are not known for being careful with cleanliness to the point of sterilising something properly.

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If I can't trust a guy to sterilise a sex toy he's certainly not putting his naked body parts anywhere near mine.

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 17/11/2025 00:01

Stravaig · 16/11/2025 23:47

To be fair, biological sex parts are shared around and re-used all the time!

Why not sex toys too, with appropriate cleaning in between. Replacing toys for each new partner is nonsensical if you're not also growing a fresh vagina or dick. By all means insist on new, but be clear it's illogical, a psychological comfort blanket you use to delude yourself. Bio sex parts tend to be well used and definitely not sterile 😆.

Because of the ick factor. You can't grow a new penis for a new partner, but ffs you can buy a new dildo. And because men in general are not known for being careful with cleanliness to the point of sterilising something properly.

CrazyCatMam · 17/11/2025 00:00

Yuck.

What an absolute creep.

I’m very open minded but this would def give me the ick. The fact that he’s turned nasty after you cooled things off with him proves you did the right thing.

Dinosaurhearmeroar · 16/11/2025 23:59

Please can you return the favour by wearing an adult nappy and ask him to change you? See how he likes it!!!

WeNeedToTalkAboutIT · 16/11/2025 23:58

Hons123 · 16/11/2025 22:48

Sorry, if sex toys=normality and consent has been established - knobbing on a week-end away consensually - so why the surprise and disgust if it is perfectly normal? Or is it different?

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Vibrators for use on women either solo or with a partner are pretty mainstream. Cock rings for men, too, though slightly less common.

The gimp-mask-dildo whatever the fuck it is, is very much not mainstream. Consent around it had NOT been established, and surprise and disgust is a perfectly reasonable reaction to somebody springing a surprise gimp-mask-dildo on you.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 16/11/2025 23:53

Stravaig · 16/11/2025 23:47

To be fair, biological sex parts are shared around and re-used all the time!

Why not sex toys too, with appropriate cleaning in between. Replacing toys for each new partner is nonsensical if you're not also growing a fresh vagina or dick. By all means insist on new, but be clear it's illogical, a psychological comfort blanket you use to delude yourself. Bio sex parts tend to be well used and definitely not sterile 😆.

Skin sheds and renews itself so yeah, we pretty much do grow fresh vaginas every few weeks. There's no chance of 'remnants' of a previous visitor after that time surely? (And I'm not judging anyone else but that seems like a reasonable gap between lovers for me.)

Stravaig · 16/11/2025 23:47

To be fair, biological sex parts are shared around and re-used all the time!

Why not sex toys too, with appropriate cleaning in between. Replacing toys for each new partner is nonsensical if you're not also growing a fresh vagina or dick. By all means insist on new, but be clear it's illogical, a psychological comfort blanket you use to delude yourself. Bio sex parts tend to be well used and definitely not sterile 😆.

Donttellempike · 16/11/2025 23:40

It must have crossed his mind that you may be uncomfortable with this.

So as said upthread, he didn’t care whether you’d like it or not. He thought he’d embarrass you into going along with it? Hateful man, good riddance

And his super swinging up for it ex dumped him too? Funny that 🙄

BillieWiper · 16/11/2025 23:37

A mask with a sex toy on it?! The mind boggles? Was it to improve his oral technique? Was there a dildo in the middle?
If so you should have asked what he was dressed up as. And he should've responded 'fuck nose' 🤣🙄

Either way he showed his true colours by being so nasty about it. Why not just at least show you a picture of it or talk about it a bit before you just spring it on someone?!

Donttellempike · 16/11/2025 23:32

India87 · 16/11/2025 22:33

I’ve been messaging him tonight and said I don’t want to see him anymore because I don’t feel we are compatible. He has turned a bit nasty and said I’m prudish and have shamed him for his interests, maintaining it was for my ‘pleasure’.

I also said I feel uneasy that I suspect he has used that with other women. He pretty much confirmed this by saying it was ‘obviously’ sterilised and that not even rich people would dispose of toys after every use.

So that’s that, I’ll move on!

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Left · 16/11/2025 23:28

Sorry for joking upthread - very wrong of him to surprise you with that, and even worse is the second hand aspect. I very much doubt he has an actual steriliser that would make this safe to use in terms of STIs.

Shoemadlady · 16/11/2025 23:28

What was he wearing? Did he do it to. Break the ice and thinking it would make you laugh and it landed badly? Had you already slept together? Had you not talked about stuff like that before?

VoltaireMittyDream · 16/11/2025 23:28

SpaceRaccoon · 16/11/2025 22:35

He certainly was in that getup!

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🤣🤣🤣🤣

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 16/11/2025 23:24

Definitely not something you spring on someone because you've magically intuited that they would like it.

And especially not if your ex-girlfriend's vag has already sat on it. Several times.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Bungle2168 · 16/11/2025 23:21

SunnyDolly · 16/11/2025 20:22

What did he say???

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Not a lot with a gag ball in his mouth, I would think.

I imagine the OP realizing that she had just strolled into the set of Pulp Fiction must have been most off putting!

Stravaig · 16/11/2025 23:18

I don't think I'm visualising this accurately. A mask / ball gag / hood? but also with an external dildo protruding from the mouth area? That can't be right surely. That's not so much kink as a complete rearrangement of human anatomy.

Definitely not something you spring on someone because you've magically intuited that they would like it. Aye, right.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 16/11/2025 23:16

IridiumSky · 16/11/2025 22:54

Thank you, OP ,for brightening everyone’s day with this extraordinary (and frankly hilarious) story. 😃

As somebody else just said, what a dickhead this bloke is. 😃😃

Are you male?

I find it hard to believe that any woman, at least one able to empathise with how the OP felt in that moment, would find this funny at all.

Butteredtoast55 · 16/11/2025 23:14

I'm not often speechless but this thread has opened my eyes and confirmed that I never want to date ever again!

lizzyBennet08 · 16/11/2025 23:14

eugg.. good look finding women compatible with his 'interests' and are willing to share toys with his previous partners. I'm sure they'll be lining up around the block.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 16/11/2025 23:13

That update!!!!

There are no words...

WonderfulSmith · 16/11/2025 23:11

I’m all for people doing what they want in the bedroom but this needs to be a conversation.

LeBaiserDuDragon · 16/11/2025 23:06

I see nothing wrong with the mask thing itself, different people like different things. BUUUUUUT you don't just spring it on an unsuspecting person without as much as a mention - that's awful. And on top of it - he got pissy when you (understandably) didn't like it. What a knob.

I like that sort of thing, but even though I like it - I'd still expect a new partner to discuss it BEFORE it's whipped out. Quite a bit before, not when already in bed.

Alpacajigsaw · 16/11/2025 23:06

Ew! Major ick OP. Well done on binning him.

rasnnz · 16/11/2025 23:04

Fucking hell
Grim
Dump