Page 4 | First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

India87 · 2025-11-16T20:02:58+00:00

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/11/2025 09:20

Lastfroginthebox · 17/11/2025 07:31

I clicked on the photo. It was slightly more horrific than I imagined (I mean, why couldn't it be the face of someone we might fancy?!) - but more shocking was the £152 price tag!

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😳

Happyjoe · 17/11/2025 09:17

India87 · 16/11/2025 22:33

I’ve been messaging him tonight and said I don’t want to see him anymore because I don’t feel we are compatible. He has turned a bit nasty and said I’m prudish and have shamed him for his interests, maintaining it was for my ‘pleasure’.

I also said I feel uneasy that I suspect he has used that with other women. He pretty much confirmed this by saying it was ‘obviously’ sterilised and that not even rich people would dispose of toys after every use.

So that’s that, I’ll move on!

I had the nasty once, some guy started seeing told me he was into kink after a couple dates, and also sleeping with men. Fine for him, no problem but I knew that it wasn't for me, I am too vanilla. When I declined another date - he got rather nasty. Tbh, being nasty is confirmation they're not worthy anyway.
Sorry OP, ah well, in time you will laugh about this a lot. Take care!

Lastfroginthebox · 17/11/2025 09:04

Grammarnut · 17/11/2025 08:58

You're not prudish. Calling women prudish for not wanting to do unpleasant things as part of sex is just a way of gaslighting them into consenting to what they do not want to do. Good you've dumped this creep.

They're not necessarily 'unpleasant' things though. Some women might have liked it. But it's not prudish to have boundaries of any sort - it's just personal preference. And he should have established those before springing it on her.

MayaPinion · 17/11/2025 08:59

BlueEyedBogWitch · 17/11/2025 07:59

“Mfff mmm mmf mmff mmm.”

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😂😂😂

MayaPinion · 17/11/2025 08:58

SpaceRaccoon · 16/11/2025 23:01

I just googled it. RIP my algorithm.

And with Black Friday coming up too. Guess everyone’s getting a gimp mask for Christmas 😬

Grammarnut · 17/11/2025 08:58

You're not prudish. Calling women prudish for not wanting to do unpleasant things as part of sex is just a way of gaslighting them into consenting to what they do not want to do. Good you've dumped this creep.

Lastfroginthebox · 17/11/2025 08:57

Hons123 · 17/11/2025 01:03

I see - mainstream perversion vs perversion. Understood.

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This really isn't the thread for you, @Hons123

Luckyingame · 17/11/2025 08:54

No for me.
Fuck that.

ProfessionalPirate · 17/11/2025 08:47

Hons123 · 17/11/2025 08:26

Seduce? Look up the definition.

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I just checked - ‘to make someone feel attracted to you and want to have sex with you’. So what’s your point?

Hons123 · 17/11/2025 08:26

GameOfJones · 17/11/2025 07:54

You don't understand anything. Forget the sex toys, that's a personal preference on a very broad spectrum and if people are into them that is fine if openly discussed with their partners.

But how is consent a difficult concept for you? Consent has to be established every single time. DH and I have a healthy sex life and I love him very much but I'd still be pissed off to walk out of the bathroom to him lying on the bed fully erect and expecting me to just hop on.

This guy was presuming he was having sex with OP and expecting her to just go along with what he wanted to do with no build up or conversation beforehand. He knows jack shit about how to seduce a woman or turn her on.

Edited

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Seduce? Look up the definition.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 17/11/2025 08:12

I bet he ran it through the dishwasher.

Hankunamatata · 17/11/2025 08:05

India87 · 16/11/2025 22:33

I’ve been messaging him tonight and said I don’t want to see him anymore because I don’t feel we are compatible. He has turned a bit nasty and said I’m prudish and have shamed him for his interests, maintaining it was for my ‘pleasure’.

I also said I feel uneasy that I suspect he has used that with other women. He pretty much confirmed this by saying it was ‘obviously’ sterilised and that not even rich people would dispose of toys after every use.

So that’s that, I’ll move on!

Boke

BlueEyedBogWitch · 17/11/2025 07:59

SunnyDolly · 16/11/2025 20:22

What did he say???

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“Mfff mmm mmf mmff mmm.”

EmeraldShamrock000 · 17/11/2025 07:58

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:19

It was a mask with a sort of gag/toy on it. My reaction was to say WTF rather than laugh at the time.

Oh no, weirdo.
I think I'd leave immediately.
I have a weird memory in a early relationship, years ago, it was a man-bikini of some sort, absolutely vile. 🫣

Nutmuncher · 17/11/2025 07:57

Grim, some people are fucking weirdos.

autumn1610 · 17/11/2025 07:56

100% you weren’t shaming him. I’ve learnt people love some weird and wonderful (to them!) things and that is perfectly ok when discussed and you are given the opportunity to say yea that could be fun let’s try it or to be honest you with a gimp mask and dildo on your face is not gonna do it for me. It doesn’t matter what him and his ex got up to that was their relationship and if that’s the sort of thing they did then absolutely fine. But you are not here and the boundaries are not the same

Figleafpants · 17/11/2025 07:55

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/11/2025 22:53

My message back?

How fucking dare you? You do understand that shaming women for having boundaries makes you sound like a sex offender. My pleasure is up to me and any decent man ASKS what women like. They don’t just assume. I hope you are ashamed. Not for your interests, but for your total lack of understanding of consent.

<shudders> Fucking weirdo.

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ALL THIS.

Send this OP! what a horrible man

GameOfJones · 17/11/2025 07:54

Hons123 · 17/11/2025 01:03

I see - mainstream perversion vs perversion. Understood.

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You don't understand anything. Forget the sex toys, that's a personal preference on a very broad spectrum and if people are into them that is fine if openly discussed with their partners.

But how is consent a difficult concept for you? Consent has to be established every single time. DH and I have a healthy sex life and I love him very much but I'd still be pissed off to walk out of the bathroom to him lying on the bed fully erect and expecting me to just hop on.

This guy was presuming he was having sex with OP and expecting her to just go along with what he wanted to do with no build up or conversation beforehand. He knows jack shit about how to seduce a woman or turn her on.

Lastfroginthebox · 17/11/2025 07:31

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/11/2025 00:30

@ClareBlue I'm not opening your posted image, but now that you've searched "dildo gimp mask" I'll be curious if your search suggestions/pop-up ads change! 😂
Do you let anyone use your phone that will see your search history? You might be getting something surprising for Christmas now... 🤣

Edited

I clicked on the photo. It was slightly more horrific than I imagined (I mean, why couldn't it be the face of someone we might fancy?!) - but more shocking was the £152 price tag!

KateShugakIsALegend · 17/11/2025 07:00

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/11/2025 22:53

My message back?

How fucking dare you? You do understand that shaming women for having boundaries makes you sound like a sex offender. My pleasure is up to me and any decent man ASKS what women like. They don’t just assume. I hope you are ashamed. Not for your interests, but for your total lack of understanding of consent.

<shudders> Fucking weirdo.

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This. He's a bully.

Alittlefrustrated · 17/11/2025 06:55

Figleafpants · 16/11/2025 20:45

Ewwwwww it was the same mask he used with his ex wasnt it?

🤮

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Well presumably the same penis that he's had with multiple woman, so what's the difference? Most present the penis without protection!

Empress13 · 17/11/2025 06:08

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:23

That it was for my benefit and he thought I’d have liked it

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Jesus Christ what was he thinking! I’d definitely dump him

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 17/11/2025 05:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

The only thread you've started on MN was the one where you listed all the ways in which your DH is a dick.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 17/11/2025 05:03

Too early in your relationship for that. You’d at least hope for romance first. I would hate that. How did you respond?

ProfessionalPirate · 17/11/2025 04:48

Stravaig · 17/11/2025 01:02

Indeed. Which is why I wouldn't have sex with someone I don't trust to sterilise a sex toy. And I wouldn't demand new toys without first insisting they provide new evidence of a clear sexual health check from a reputable clinic.

You know this, I know this, but MN? If it can care about the wrong thing, it will.

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How on earth do you know whether to ‘trust’ that someone knows how to sterilise a sex toy? Lots of otherwise intelligent people don’t have a clue what sterilisation actually involves. Plastic and rubber are hard to sterilise properly. That’s why gynaecologists use single-use plastic speculums.

You do you but I don’t think there’s anything strange or unreasonable about a woman wanting to use either her own or new sex toys if they are going to end up inside her.