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AIBU?

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Original poster

First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

312 replies

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:02

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

OP posts:
rwalker · 16/11/2025 20:12

I think it all hinges on response of you said not for me

MrsPrendergast · 16/11/2025 20:11

Performative 🤮

Get rid

ExperiencedTeacher · 16/11/2025 20:11

Surely it depends whether said items have been discussed before? And whether the discussion was received positively? If yes and yes then he could legitimately feel it would be a nice surprise. If it’s a no to either question then he was unreasonable.

Sillysoggyspaniel · 16/11/2025 20:10

Depends on what it was. A blindfold, fine. Full on gimp suit, yeah I'd like a head's up.

Wolfpa · 16/11/2025 20:10

Kink items? Depends on the type. If they bought a massive strap on then yes some warning may be needed. If it was some sort of outfit then no

WiggyWiggyImGettingJiggy · 16/11/2025 20:10

I would expect communication and consent to be paramount in any sexual relationship, and so I would dump him.

Original poster
India87 · 16/11/2025 20:09

yeesh · 16/11/2025 20:08

Dump

I don’t plan on pursuing things as it stands. Which is annoying as we’ve had a good few months but I feel like I’ve got the ick.

OP posts:
MannersAreAll · 16/11/2025 20:09

Nothing sexual should ever be sprung on anyone.

Tbh even if the items were something I liked I'd still be very tempted to end the relationship based on the lack of discussion, and ultimately the lack of consent.

RainbowBrite1 · 16/11/2025 20:08

No thank you. That would put me right off

yeesh · 16/11/2025 20:08

Dump

willsandnoodle · 16/11/2025 20:07

Oh no. I would hate that.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 16/11/2025 20:06

🤢

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