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Original poster

First night away with new BF, was he unreasonable

312 replies

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:02

As above - would you expect your partner to tell you if they were going to be bringing ‘kink’ items? Or is it appropriate to find out by walking into the bedroom after a bath and finding said items being worn?

OP posts:
crazeekat · 16/11/2025 20:37

Honestly this 🤮🤮🤮🤮what a turn off

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 16/11/2025 20:37

Oh god, that would completely turn me off and give me the ick. I’d not have wanted sex with him after that.

Oldgreeneyedone · 16/11/2025 20:36

I think the general consensus is that he was out of order to not discuss it 1st with you,even if you had previously been together.Some kinks are just not sexy and then you go totally off of someone anyway after that.

LingeringDogFart · 16/11/2025 20:36

SunnyDolly · 16/11/2025 20:22

What did he say???

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Nothing. He had his mouth full.

Tapsthemic · 16/11/2025 20:36

OP, that is my literal worst nightmare, as I’m terrified of masks. To just spring it on you? Absolute jump-scare and not sexy at all!

And then to try and explain it away with “my ex used to be into it, maybe I need to think differently and see women as individuals” is peak ick.

I'm so sorry xx

Childanddogmama · 16/11/2025 20:35

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:26

Yes, he has been clear that he and his ex were very open with things, and he said after this happened that he needs to try to move on from that mindset and start afresh, which he says is hard because they were together a long time.

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Oh another one who thinks that just because one previous partner liked something all future ones will too!! He should have worked on finding out what you would have enjoyed exploring together. God I hope he bought this mask new!!

Idontjetwashthefucker · 16/11/2025 20:35

CelestialGazer · 16/11/2025 20:32

I’m almost tempted to say you are being unreasonable but only because you’re not telling us what kink items he was wearing.

She has said what the item was

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 16/11/2025 20:33

SunnyDolly · 16/11/2025 20:22

What did he say???

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Couldn't really make it out but it sounded a bit like...

"Mmmm bmmmy ffgh ssdd mmm gg Drub cjhgt ssshk. Ghut buby twee?"

You should ask him to take his gag out.

CelestialGazer · 16/11/2025 20:32

I’m almost tempted to say you are being unreasonable but only because you’re not telling us what kink items he was wearing.

Notsurewhatisnormalanymore · 16/11/2025 20:32

It depends I suppose. Is it something you both have talked about trying and enjoying together? Was it talked about trying while you were away? If not, then it’s really presumptuous to even expect sex isn’t it? Let alone the type of sex that requires a lot of trust and respect. If you did discuss it in anticipation of the trip then it just is a bit of bad timing maybe. Still would give me the ick I think. Sorry this happened, very disappointing I imagine.

Childanddogmama · 16/11/2025 20:31

Oh dear! It's really quite depressing how little (some) men know about how to turn a woman on.
I have no problems with the mask but the suprise element is all wrong!

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 16/11/2025 20:31

Bloody hell. What, no warning at all? I would run a mile. It should be discussed first.

arcticpandas · 16/11/2025 20:30

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:19

It was a mask with a sort of gag/toy on it. My reaction was to say WTF rather than laugh at the time.

I think this would have frightened me and I would have screamed out loud.

And when he noticed you weren't happy about it he started talking about the sex with his ex. Jikes. No, he has to go OP.

apostrophewoman · 16/11/2025 20:29

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:19

It was a mask with a sort of gag/toy on it. My reaction was to say WTF rather than laugh at the time.

Oh JFC, no, no no no 🫣
I think I’d have laughed hysterically.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 16/11/2025 20:29

Shame there wasn't hand cuffs.

You could have tied him to the bed and gone home. Ltb.

Rexinasaurus · 16/11/2025 20:27

God, how repulsive. He’s been living 50 Shades and more in his head and wants to attempt in reality. Vomit. YANBU.

Oldgreeneyedone · 16/11/2025 20:27

Did you make your excuses to go?

Original poster
India87 · 16/11/2025 20:26

pinkfondu · 16/11/2025 20:25

As in for you to sit on?

thats unacceptable

Show quote history

Yes, he has been clear that he and his ex were very open with things, and he said after this happened that he needs to try to move on from that mindset and start afresh, which he says is hard because they were together a long time.

OP posts:
Oldgreeneyedone · 16/11/2025 20:26

Left · 16/11/2025 20:26

Was probably hard to hear him through the gag.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Left · 16/11/2025 20:26

SunnyDolly · 16/11/2025 20:22

What did he say???

Show quote history

Was probably hard to hear him through the gag.

pinkfondu · 16/11/2025 20:25

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:19

It was a mask with a sort of gag/toy on it. My reaction was to say WTF rather than laugh at the time.

As in for you to sit on?

thats unacceptable

Tedster08 · 16/11/2025 20:25

Childanddogmama · 16/11/2025 20:24

You need you give us way more detail!
Did you just find him naked and wearing the mask? Was he lying on the bed aroused?
I think I'd have said WTF too!!
Have either of you mentioned this? It wasn't the first time of having sex was it?
I think he needs to go. Anything even slightly out of the normal, needs to be discussed.

Agree! You don’t spring that sort of thing on someone! 😭

Original poster
India87 · 16/11/2025 20:25

Childanddogmama · 16/11/2025 20:24

You need you give us way more detail!
Did you just find him naked and wearing the mask? Was he lying on the bed aroused?
I think I'd have said WTF too!!
Have either of you mentioned this? It wasn't the first time of having sex was it?
I think he needs to go. Anything even slightly out of the normal, needs to be discussed.

Yes and yes

No not the first time.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 16/11/2025 20:24

India87 · 16/11/2025 20:19

It was a mask with a sort of gag/toy on it. My reaction was to say WTF rather than laugh at the time.

Oh crikey. Yep I would have been wtf

Childanddogmama · 16/11/2025 20:24

You need you give us way more detail!
Did you just find him naked and wearing the mask? Was he lying on the bed aroused?
I think I'd have said WTF too!!
Have either of you mentioned this? It wasn't the first time of having sex was it?
I think he needs to go. Anything even slightly out of the normal, needs to be discussed.