To ask: Married ladies, what’s one reality check single women need to hear?

That for better or worse knows no bounds.

Even before DH and I got married the worse had begun. His 16yo son died outbox the blue, not a car accident but utterly preventable. A huge chunk of dh died that day. 2 years and a wedding later, what I thought was the worst then was just a drop in the ocean of the roller coaster since that day.

I utterly adore DH, but there are days when I question my choices. Especially when he is still so distraught (understandably) that when I have subsequently lost a close friend who was like a sister or more recently my uncle, he doesn't have enough emotional quotient left to even check how I am..

Knowing that even in your worst day his will always be worse is hard work. It means you always coming second, having to second guess how he might react to every bit of news be it good or bad. It is draining.

It's not martyrdom, just fact

no one believed you were that genuine, but you REALLY are not making any effort now

On Earth, you mean? I was wondering the same thing.

I'd say why on earth do you think you need advice from married women? Or that anyone should be advising anyone else to marry? So bizarre. How about live your life and enjoy yourself and get to know what makes you happy and find purpose and joy. Whether married or not

He will become unnecessarily noisy after 40, don’t move in with him.

Be aware that you never completely know anyone and that the person you love and think is happy can completely blindside you even after 20+ years together.

No gives out unfiltered advice?? Oh come op this is mumsnet. I think Ihave seen it all on here.

I hate the sound of dhs breathing when I'm.trying to watch a film. His breathing sometimes pisses me off.

Could be so many things couldn't it? From him shagging the bridesmaids on the wedding day. To the way he tumble drys the delicates to a crisp. I'm sure my dh has a catalogue of things that he hates about me too.

There will come a point where undressing in front of each other involves facing up to cellulite, gravity, going grey in places you don't want to go grey, and various other by-products of life.

If you genuinely cannot cope with that, don't commit to spending a life with someone.

You can't strike a match on a jelly - so don't even try.

Before you get married, commit financially or have kids... read him loads of mumsnet posts to see his reaction and tell him yours...

And ensuites are not sexy
They will fart more with age

I don't understand what "transition" is there when it comes to marriage considering most people (on MN and in west) live together before marriage anyway.
Like I had a new ring, that's about it when it comes to transition.

i agree with the marrying your friend.

Take away the butterflies, the love, all the trappings of it being a partnership.. whats left?

If you don't have a strong friendship as a foundation, once all that fades, and it does.. you may find yourself sharing your home with someone you have nothing in common with and don't actually like.

I don't think I understand the question. There isn't some great secret. We love each other, we get on, we run our home together, we enjoy each others' company. Of course we annoy each other sometimes, you can't live together and never ever annoy each other, but it's not an issue. My life is better for having him in it and as far as I am aware he feels the same. We like each other. We're suited. We're friends and the sex is good.

I do value alone time now that it's harder to get, and over the summer he took the kids on a couple of trips leaving me with the house to myself for a couple of days, which was amazing. I would be lonely if it was all the time, though (I know not everyone would feel that way but I would).

I don't know. My marriage is happy. I'm grateful. The older I get, the luckier I realise I am.

Had a great relationship before marriage and have a great relationship after. It’s all good here! Even with children!

How old are you OP? My advice is age dependent..

Don't leave yourself without monthly income coming in, directly into your own bank account

He sneezes like a bomb going off. But otherwise he’s not a bad old bugger really.

From what I observe all around and on here, the number 1
Ldont become a mug once you have children

Don't do it all like some sort of mug, make him do his fair share

The word 'girlies' is also all over Instagram. Yuck.

Office girlies! Here's my top job hunting tips.

Goth girlies! Here's my fav make-up!

I mean my pearl of wisdom would be 'Don't fucking do it'

I'm happy to share but wondering who I'm addressing -

Is it women about to get married to get ready for the changes in their relationship?
Or
Women who are single?

Expect hard work, difficulties, storms and check out the family before you marry the person, because they will have a considerable effect on your life. Sisters, brothers, mothers. If things go well, it is worth it, but it also needs people to blame themselves if something goes wrong, not to always find blame with the other person. However a lot of people today are not up to the challenge of marriage. They expect everything to be perfect, from fairy tale programming of childhood. Good luck.

I forgot to add, you committed a cardinal sin,
MNetters are not ladies.