Page 6 | To have a favourite child?

neverputtingthelaundryaway · 2025-11-16T18:32:17+00:00

Obviously it is totally, horribly unreasonable but I do. I don’t like myself for it; it I could stop and just honestly and sincerely love them both the same I would. And if I’d known my feelings would be so different I’d have severely questioned the wisdom of having another but … this is where I am. Can’t afford counselling.

nellietheellie75 · 16/11/2025 18:51

I love both my children unconditionally. I don't have a fav, they and my partner are my fav people in the whole world. I couldn't imagine loving one less. Its unimaginable.

Original poster

neverputtingthelaundryaway · 16/11/2025 18:50

Thanks. I do like spending time with him one on one, which is why I do sort of feel like I should have stopped at one but I didn’t know how challenging it would be and how differently I’d feel. My head is in a very confused place right now. I wish people would believe that it if I could stop, I would. I want to love my child to pieces like everyone does.

OP posts:

Bigearringsbigsmile · 16/11/2025 18:47

LadyFreja · 16/11/2025 18:43

I don't believe it is possible to love multiple children all exactly the same amount. My daughter is the most perfect little girl in the whole world and no one could ever hold a candle to her in my mind. That's why I never want another child, they could never live up to her.

I simply don't believe people who say they don't have a favourite and they love and like all of their children equally. Obviously they do love them all, like I love both of my parents and all of my grandparents but I definitely have favourites. It's impossible not to like/love some people more than others.

This is absolute tripe.

Of course you can love multiple children just as much.

This is the whole basis of sophie 's choice!
Both my children are absolutely lovely and are loved equally.

Allsigns · 16/11/2025 18:47

I definitely favour different things about my children. They're really different, and time spent with them tends to reflect that. If you took a good hard look at the situation might that also be the case here?

Notagain75 · 16/11/2025 18:46

LadyFreja · 16/11/2025 18:43

I don't believe it is possible to love multiple children all exactly the same amount. My daughter is the most perfect little girl in the whole world and no one could ever hold a candle to her in my mind. That's why I never want another child, they could never live up to her.

I simply don't believe people who say they don't have a favourite and they love and like all of their children equally. Obviously they do love them all, like I love both of my parents and all of my grandparents but I definitely have favourites. It's impossible not to like/love some people more than others.

Whether you believe it or not I have two children and I love them equally. I don't have a favourite and I never have done they are both absolutely wonderful people.
I also have three grand and I love them equally too. They are all very different individuals. I don't have a favourite!
Just because you can't imagine it , it doesn't mean that you can't love more than one child equally.

Monmkeymamkymonky · 16/11/2025 18:46

LadyFreja · 16/11/2025 18:43

I don't believe it is possible to love multiple children all exactly the same amount. My daughter is the most perfect little girl in the whole world and no one could ever hold a candle to her in my mind. That's why I never want another child, they could never live up to her.

I simply don't believe people who say they don't have a favourite and they love and like all of their children equally. Obviously they do love them all, like I love both of my parents and all of my grandparents but I definitely have favourites. It's impossible not to like/love some people more than others.

You don't have multiple children though so you'll never know? Having a favourite grandparent or other distant relative isn't the same as equally loving the children you birthed

I have 2 dc and hand on heart I love them exactly the same

LadyFreja · 16/11/2025 18:43

I don't believe it is possible to love multiple children all exactly the same amount. My daughter is the most perfect little girl in the whole world and no one could ever hold a candle to her in my mind. That's why I never want another child, they could never live up to her.

I simply don't believe people who say they don't have a favourite and they love and like all of their children equally. Obviously they do love them all, like I love both of my parents and all of my grandparents but I definitely have favourites. It's impossible not to like/love some people more than others.

JLou08 · 16/11/2025 18:42

Do you actually love one more than the other or is it just that one is less challenging?

firstofallimadelight · 16/11/2025 18:41

I have three dc I love them all to bits and would end my life for all of them. But there’s one I get on with brilliantly she’s a good friend as well as a dd and we have loads in common

Monmkeymamkymonky · 16/11/2025 18:35

YABU and you know it. You need to do somthing to fix this or risk damaging your relationship with your dc ( and their relationship with each other ) forever

Even if you think you treat them the same, they'll be able to feel it

GagMeWithASpoon · 16/11/2025 18:34

What’s the difference between them? Is one easier / you have more things in common?

LoudSnoringDog · 16/11/2025 18:34

Unless you are being cruel to the less liked child, then I don’t think you need counselling. I think many parents will admit that they possibly favour one over another ( that doesn’t mean you don’t love the other child). I know my middle child is my favourite out of all my 3.