I’m supposed to be having surgery abroad in March, and the part that’s stressing me out the most isn’t the surgery—it’s the fact that I might have to go completely alone. I don’t have many friends, and the few I do have genuinely can’t come because of their own responsibilities. My family isn’t very close either, but I still reached out to my sisters, even though they always dodge the question with vague excuses. I can tell they just don’t want to go. I even offered to pay for everything except their food.
What’s really upsetting me, though, is my mum. I asked her if she’d come with me, and she said she can’t because she wants to get better before flying anywhere. I understand—she was quite ill last year with gallbladder problems, and it took ages for doctors to diagnose her properly.
But here’s the part that really stings: she’s already booked a holiday with my other sister in July. So she can fly… just not with me. And I can’t help but feel like that says something. It feels like she’s willing to go away and enjoy herself with my sister, but won’t support me when I’m anxious, vulnerable, and facing surgery in another country.
I know the situations are different—mine involves a medical procedure—but I’m staying in a 5-star hotel with pools and a beach nearby. The surgery isn’t major, and I’ll be back to normal in a couple of days. It’s not like I’m asking for months of care—just some company and reassurance.
I’m trying to work out whether my feelings are valid. Would you feel hurt too if your mum was happy to travel with your sibling but not with you? Or am I taking this too personally?