To think a lot of MN are ableist?

Are you following the posts at all? Don't start a thread if you're not going to follow the conversations.

But ultimately, YOUR child is obviously your priority, when other people must prioritise their own child.

If a child hugs or hurt another child, it doesn't matter if he's SEND or not - for the parents, for the victim, they don't care and they don't have to care, it's totally irrelevant. Another child should not hurt theirs full stop.

How the school and the actual parents, manage him is another issue, but being SEND is not an excuse or a reason, and it's not being ableist to say "it's not my problem, stop him from hurting my child ever again".

It's not being ableist. The condition of John Bravery, who is in now jail for attempted murder, is totally irrelevant to the little victim.

You can't expect other people to be understanding or excuse a behaviour.

I don't think MN has a particular issue with ableism anymore that it has issues with any number of topics that get similar reactions.

It's an anonymous forum, people are more likely to say things they'd never say in 'real life' for fear of repercussions, they're more likely to be rude/mean/controversial for the sake of it, more likely to join a pile on to feel superior.

But you'll also get people with no experience of the issue at hand unhelpfully chiming in because they can, who simply can't relate to or sympathise with it.

Children need a diagnosis to get adhd medication. Parents can’t just choose to .

People with disabilities absolutely can be ableist though. Just call it what it is. If being ableist isn't ableist then what is?

Where's the compassion for children whose parents are a little bit too keen to put them on ADHD medication? Isn't it good that Mumsnet allows those counter views?

That would be good advice if MN remotely cared about tackling rampant ableism on their site. i reported a poster who stated, in a series of posts and in no uncertain terms, that they believed disabled children were a drain on resources and should be euthanised because they were unlikely to ever be worthwhile members of society. MN said this did not break their talk guidelines. I and others also reported a thread in which the OP advocated forcably removing all disabled children and adults from their homes and families and placing them in large state run institutions to save money. This also apparently did not break talk guidelines. If suggesting the wholesale murder or incarceration of disabled people is deemed not to break MN rules then it is impossible to imagine what would.

If you consider people with ADHD, autism, anxiety, hearing impairment, mobility issues, long term illness to have disabilities, virtually everyone will be disabled and/or be very close to someone who is disabled at some point in their life. It doesn’t mean they have a good understanding of all disabilities though. Why would they? I think the term ‘ableist’ is thrown around far too much on here. I know someone with autism who would definitely be accused of being ableist when it came to their attitude towards other people but then maybe it is ableist to make that judgement about them. I think people aren’t always very empathetic to other people’s situations but branding them with an ‘ableist’ label probably doesn’t encourage people to be more understanding.

What’s shocking is the ability not to read my post correctly.

I was talking about a poster on a current thread suggesting that all newborns with profound disabilities should be euthanised as a way to save money. With no mention of parental consent.

I have a severely disabled child.

I am currently going through quite a brutal workplace route to getting reasonable adjustments as I have recently been diagnosed with a serious spinal issue and need to have these to stay in work.
The threads on here about reasonable adjustments are so so concerning. It's such a tough process to go through, that even those people with a formal structural spinal diagnosis struggle, I cannot imagine how hard it is for others.
You have my sympathies OP!

It’s shocking that you think that a doctor or parents would advocate for having their child euthanised purely because of money. Unless you have walked in their shoes, you cannot possibly know why they have made those extremely challenging decisions.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4309136/

It’s no longer Mumsnet a safe space for mums of all children but NastyNet.

I can’t believe how much it’s changed. Yet still they do nothing aside from sell advertising space.

I'm like 90% sure that thread was a wind up to try and whip up anger. There were details that didn't quite ring true from the outset and then OP acted like some sort of moustache twirling panto villain in the run up to it being removed.

Such ignorance. AdHD isn’t just finding focusing difficult. 🙄Both ADHD and autism are under diagnosed and under treated in this country.

YANBU OP

she wasn't raising a point, she was using it as an example, it was not to invite further discussion of that thread.

and the same people will likely judge autistic people who claim out of work benefits.

Disabled people can't win.

Please can we not police people addressing a point the OP has raised?

My comment is hardly a dissection of that particular thread.

Yes I think a lot of people are abelist. I see a lot of dehumanising language about people's value to society based on whether they pay tax or not or how much they cost.

I dont mean reaaonable debate about costs and how to manage them but a real sense of othering and blame on infividuals.

I agree. On a recent thread about an autistic colleague and their adjustments there were a lot of comments along the lines of “pandering to that nonsense” and complaints about other people not getting the same adjustments. Obviously made by very ignorant people but as a mother to autistic children it was upsetting

Most Mumsnetters are extremely compassionate.

Don't confuse people being concerned with an overdiagnosis of ADHD and a willingness of some parents to drug their children because they've not parented them well with ableism.

You could say that also works the other way around.

There isn't enough resources full stop and non-SEN children take up a huge amount of funding. That is unavoidable, but it does mean that funding is taken away from many other children who would also benefit from that money.

But you never read that, because the original comment is inherently ableist.

This is the exactly what I mean. Ill informed posters who point the fingers at disabled children. No disabled child takes resources away from a non-disabled child. Children without SN tend to be in education full time and without many issue. Children like mine spend long periods out if school through now fault of there own. It's not the fault of disabled kids, if the government doesn't fund education properly.

Do you have ADHD or Autism? have you in any way been involved in the process of diagnosis? Or are you observing and commenting from the angle of someone who has only observed it second hand?

Your post is rubbish. I've been through both Autism & ADHD diagnosis with both my kids as young children, as teens, and myself as an adult, at varying points since 2012.

At no point has ANY professional EVER told my kids or myself that they 'can't' do something because of their AuDHD, what has been said is you have X, it causes Y. And then they've had a mix of therapy and counselling and support to help them work through it and with it.

Any professional using the word 'can't' within the ADHD/ASD diagnostic community is NOT a good dr, nor are they following guidelines.