To think a lot of MN are ableist?

Can you link some statistics from China? Interested in the current figures there! Cheers.

And if the parents can’t afford the specialist education their child needs does that child go without an education?

Education yes, but since when does it include paid taxis?

Mainstream or not, we all have to make our own arrangement to get our children to school? Are we all getting taxis - and free wraparound care - for our children' s education?

The DSM. Just one example is ADHD. It used to be considered as only a childhood condition. Now adults can be diagnosed too.

The criteria for diagnosis for lots of conditions we know as ND have broadened in the last few years.

You're calling saying that ableist. Its not. Its a fact.

You've bought your own assumptions to it.

That's why I like mumsnet. You can hear opinions that you wouldn't necessarily come across in real life.

Anyone who finds it too unkind should look for a support group instead. I dont think tjats what mumsnet is.

SOME posters try to derail every thread with a "take my disability then! If you are jealous, you take it" they don't help their side of the argument at all.
I’m struggling to understand your point. People receive benefits because of their disability. Other people don’t get these benefits because they are not disabled. When this is pointed out by disabled people you say this doesn’t help their side of the argument.
What is your point then?

how would you pay 50-100k for a specialist school place?

Do people pay for their children's education when they go to state schools? Why should disabled children not have access to an education??

oh I know what answer they will give.

And then we go back to the many discussions/ arguments/ fights about people on benefit who can afford holidays/ having their nails done/ prosecco for breakfast vs the why am I not entitled luxury too, or are rich people the only ones to be allowed to have kids 😂

That's stepping away from ableism and going to the benefit fight thread

Because last time I checked, education is a right for all children, not just those who can cope in mainstream education?

The British are not a different species than say the Chinese.

Yet the Chinese do not seem to have the same amount of non physically disabled children, e.g. autism and ADHD, impacting their benefits bill and the other children in their schools.

You cannot access specialist schools and pay from your own pocket (leave aside that fact that it's not affordable for most families in any case). Specialist places via EHCP are always funded via the LA. My child's special school does not accept self funders and that is standard (there are very few exceptions).

And why would you expect parents of disabled children to fund their children's education whilst typical kids receive a free mainstream education? why do you want to exclude disabled children from education?

Parents to be financially responsible for their own children? Why is it always "if the system doesn't pay, I am not paying"?

Conditions that are disabling. How is this a problem exactly?

Ahh. The old autism is not an excuse

For displaying behaviours that are wholly a result of being autistic.

My sister is blind. I can't imagine anyone saying I know you're blind but it's no excuse for not being able to see, other people shouldn't be affected by your blindness.

exactly

Every school has example of children being violent, chair thrown to other children, fighting and other children hurt or terrified.

The school and the system having to deal with these on individual basis, and assess what cause the behaviour and how to stop it.

It's none of the other parent's problem - their only job is to be firm enough with the school to make sure their own children are never beaten up or injured.

No one is saying only disabled children are violent, or children are only violent if they are disabled. It's irrelevant. It's not being ableist!

I think this is what actually frustrates me the most.

People complain when a child can't cope in mainstream and are disrupting their child's education but then also go on to complain when children go to specialist schools, have taxis paid for etc because it costs money.

I'm not seeing a 3rd option here.

Not talking about Benefits? you butted into a conversation that literally started about benefits and people moaning about how they're spent, and moaned about derailing.

It is my experience that, generally, people 'care' right up until it costs them in some way, any way, to carry on 'caring'.

It's shitty when your child is a kid and trust me it gets a hundred times worse when they're an adult.

Its just about ok to be a disabled child but you really should be out of sight out of mind and fucking cheap to care for when you hit 18 or if you're not the warm and cosy feel good for helping kind of disabled child.

It didn't used to be so blatant but more people are saying their inside thoughts out loud these days.

I sound bitter? That's because I am. My kids are both disabled and they are in their mid 20s now and I have been fighting for them all this time and will be till the day I die.

Biggest thing I've learned is that most people want you to go away and be disabled somewhere else that won't affect the normals.

As a SEN mum I agree there is plenty of ableism on here and in RL. There was a thread recently about the cost of independent special schools being unaffordable. There are children whose needs are not met in MS (and MN’ers grumble about their behaviour and impact on others), who cannot get a LA place because they are all taken, but also shouldn’t be given any other available provision (eg an independent) because it’s too expensive. Where exactly are these children meant to go? Why, in a smorgasbord of examples of taxpayers’ money being pissed liberally up walls, do we highlight a tiny number of disabled children for savings?

I suspect the antipathy is because, deep down, many people don’t accept that severely autistic children are not just poorly parented or over-indulged, or that their behaviour is not voluntary. The ability to blame someone else seems to negate any sense of societal responsibility towards supporting them. OTOH a child with (say) a heart condition, or requiring dialysis, has no attached budgetary constraints because “it’s nobody’s fault”.

Makes me sad for my DS who is autistic and very obviously disabled by it.

care to quote WHERE I said that?

It’s important though to (kindly) respond to those who are clearly in their own echo chamber and being unreasonable, to try to get them to see the perspective of others. For example, a couple of weeks ago there was a poster whose child was aggressive and lashing out at other children in their mainstream school setting, who was temporarily excluded. Poster was furious but didn’t seem to be able to acknowledge that the parents of the victims of this aggressive behaviour shouldn’t have to put up with the behaviour just because of her son’s SENs. It’s very easy to become blinkered when there’s any drama connected to our children.