To think a lot of MN are ableist?

People absolutely mean to be unkind.

Medicated with controlled drugs (ie can't buy over the counter) until I am high as a kite most days, I have been doing my job for a long time so I can 'cover' my woozier moments....just about.
I also have nerve blocks done as often as the NHS can fit me in.

No there hasn’t been an explosion. Autism and adhd are under diagnosed and under treated in this country.

There was a comment about people not daring to express a view in rl but are keyboard warriors, I am quite open about my view that there should be reasonable adjustment but sometimes the requests and unreasonable yet granted. The case about about the coffee in the workplace was in my view unreasonable as it began to impinge on other peoples work practice with their needs being ignore. As far as access arrangements are connecerned some people are taking advantage of them. Sadly there is a spectrum of need and the more those with less need take advantage which is what has happened the more people become less tolerant. it is important to have an open discussion on this topic with people on both sides being able to express their views.

But then when they do find a residential facility, they get called heartless and told they could never send their child away. I know Katie Price is a nightmare in many ways, but that aside, the abuse she has received on here for sending Harvey to a residential setting for everyone’s best interests, has been disgusting.

Yep.

Or if they'd happily have their child ripped away from them.

I don’t think people mean to be unkind but you have to objectively see how there has been a huge (and I mean huge) explosion in autism and ADHD literally in the last 5 years alone. YES I know everyone will now pop up to say ‘it’s just better diagnosis; we were always here…’ and fine, but honestly it seems to be almost all we ever hear about on here, to the extent I’m genuinely surprised to click on a thread about anything and not see a mention of autism or ADHD.

What’s more everyone is relentlessly ‘educated’ on neurodiversity and spoken down to for well meaning or actually fairly sensible comments, or for not agreeing that virtually any symptom is indicative of autism or ADHD.

I think people now have compassion fatigue as a result.

And on every single about children with severe autism and learning disabilities, you csn guarantee a few posters will suggest just sending the child away to a special home / residential school,i really dont no where ask these homes they think exist are for tiny children.

Surely common sense is a factor here too? If a TA is always with the same 1-2 children then there's likely a reason for that.

I don't think it's ableist to ask that question, by the way, they just obviously aren't going to get a straight forward ''well, it's because George and Jessica have autism''.

Exactly - on the independent special school hate thread, I was tempted to post agreeing wholeheartedly that society was spending far too much money on the “so-called” ND kids, who would never amount to anything anyway, and having reflected on posters’ comments about wasted cost, I would be sending DS up a chimney with a brush forthwith, just like in the good old days.

The only reason I didn’t was because I suspect zero sarcasm would have been detected by the average MN’er.

Who do you think does this? I wish my parents had done this with me instead of growing up undiagnosed, unmedication with awful MH problems as a result.

How on earth can we reliably diagnose someone who lived four hundred years ago as being autistic? Or is it just "these people were good at science, so probably on the spectrum"?

For the sake for debate lets say that everyone that gets their benefits is truly disabled and needs help. Nobody is taking the mick they are all truly sick.

My questions then are

1. Why is the UK so sick.
2. If the UK is broke financially (and hopefully nobody is going to be daft enough to suggest we are still a wealthy country). So if the UK is broke at what point does it say 'sorry for your disabledness. That's really tough/unlucky/heartbreaking. Unfortunately the UK is broke so we can't give you any help.

Trying to whip up a massive problem is scaremongering against disabled children and very unpleasant.

Except it is true. Find a teacher and ask them how bad things are in school.

There are usually more than two children with disabilities or additional needs or behavioral problems in any class of 30. These are not bad children but they have challenges which mean they disrupt, or hurt other children regularly. Knowing that it is not the child's fault but the lack of funding that is the issue is no consolation to any parent or child.

I was involved in that thread. It was horrible. Some truly vile comments on there.

I agree with you OP.

you know it's possible to question why free transport is not accessible to everyone and not only to a selected few, without being ableist.

My local schools have all staggered their start and finish times - it makes it possible for parents to manage children going to different schools. That's reasonable and helps everyone.

I am not sure if it's the same for every other area? My point was that many families need some adjustment and support or other. It's not being ableist to question and discuss those, and state the same help and adjustments must be offered to everyone.

Everyone’s brave behind a false name and a keyboard, you have to wonder where their life is falling short that they get satisfaction or even joy from their bile.

I'm so sorry @Overthemhills that you had such a disgusting response to your child. My child is SEN and I'm severely disabled.

I can tell you people say the most disgusting things about trans people and gay men and yes they do get deleted but not banned.
There's a thread running re a mumsnet clean up. It might be enlightening.

The world has become more toxic and I've some terrible things posted to me ( last Christmas springs to mind when I was a lyng fraudster and disgusting excuse for a mother). I'd posted about some abuse from my adult son. I resulted to telling them to f*ck off as every other post was their made up narrative. Too arse lazy to read the thread. Probably pissed too!

Yep. I've had some lovely comments as well.

My son is incontinent and one poster was completely outraged that he goes to a mainstream primary school because it's ''disgusting'' and he clearly belongs in a specialist school.

Just the other day I had a poster helpfully tell me that if she had a child with a disability and couldn't work, she'd move to a very basic house in a cheap location so she wouldn't have to claim UC.

It really makes you despair at humanity at times doesn’t it? But then I go back to my real life where my family, friends and work colleagues are on the whole lovely. I look at those that are spouting this awful stuff and feel sorry for them. Something must have gone wrong in their life somewhere, they must be unhappy and maybe need help themselves. They’re just dealing with it the wrong way, in a way that tries to bring others down, that makes them feel better for a while, but then they go back to their real life and it’s just as bad, so they do it again the next day. You have to pity them really because no happy and healthy thinking adult thinks, never mind says these things.

Pip isn't an out of work benefit.

I don't work, i did for 15 years, as a Teaching Assistant, but thats because im a carer for my profoundly disabled 19yo DS, who if I didn't care for, would be IN care, and costing the NHS and Council a lot more than the £70 pittance I get paid for doing it.

But go off Queen..

of course not

but then we can't complain that a class TA who spends the majority of her time with one or 2 children brings a lot of complaints from other parents - asking when their own child gets the extra support they need. Fair and reasonable question.

That's when accusing everyone to be ableist is unreasonable.