Insomnia can fuck off

Really horrible and I know the feeling well. It’s not the same but when on holiday in a luxury hotel and separate rooms due to snoring it so frustrating that I cannot sleep. After spending all that money! Tried everything and in the end take sleeping pills! Before then I could even end up staying awake all night.

It will pass

That breathing pattern - in through the nose for 4, out through the mouth for 8 counts - seems to work wonders. Somehow it's supposed to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm the body/mind.

There's a version where you hold your breath for 7 counts before exhaling, but the 4-8 seems to work for me!

health.clevelandclinic.org/4-7-8-breathing

I had this when my first was a similar age. The book the Effortless Sleep Method by Sasha Stephens I saw recommended on Mumsnet and really helped me. The key for me to drift off is to be able to think about something or listen to something that is interesting but not personal. So an audiobook or radio programme/podcast. Or I would think about the plot of a TV show or series and all the different characters and their storylines. The main thing was not worrying about not being able to go to sleep as the book explains this is the root cause of insomnia. Stop worrying about it, get into a position where you can drift off and focus on something else.

I hope you managed to get some sleep.

I'm really glad I saw your post, my autistic dd absolutely loves sleep masks and loves listening to things as she falls asleep.... I didn't know Bluetooth sleep masks existed!

Ugh, so sorry you're experiencing this OP. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.

It's so hard to get to sleep when you feel under pressure to do so, e.g. knowing you have to get up and "perform" again soon and that you will need your wits about you. I can relate for different reasons (work pressure!).

For me, I'll go to bed after an intense day of work and I'm still doing it behind closed eyelids, composing responses to queries etc.

What I have found works really well is a technique used by the military to get to sleep in a stressful combat scenario. Breathe in THROUGH THE NOSE for a count of four, exhale THROUGH THE MOUTH for a count of 8. Try to clear your head, i.e. whenever you start thinking about something, nudge yourself to quiet your mind. (Mentally focusing on a spot "inside" the middle of your forehead can help.) When exhaling, relax any tension in your body.

Repeat as necessary. I sometimes get to the 10th or 15th cycle and am about to give up, then wake up next morning refreshed!

Good luck 💗

Your husband should be all hands on deck to give you a relaxing day. I'd say it's getting to the point of danger for you to solo care for a baby when you're functioning on zero sleep and driving with no sleep is as bad as driving drunk.

By this point your nervous system has got you to a state of hypervigilance because your body is so under stress/burnt out that your sleep pathway / relaxation pathway is too disrupted to function properly, and this insomnia is the outcome. Make sure your husband is aware of this and that noone thinks it's your fault you couldn't sleep.

It feels nigh on impossible with a baby but you need to have your well slept partner do whatever he can to let your nervous system calm down and that means periods of rest for you so your parasympathetic nervous system has a chance of functioning effectively again and so you can get out of this hypervigilant state.

What can help is low dose melatonin and low dose valerian, omega oils, magnesium and d3 before bed because that has a nice relaxing effect that will target the parasympathetic and support it quite well. And daily exercise (light cardio and lots of stretching). But the most important thing is relaxation (yes I know v hard with a baby and a small child ) to stop the body getting hyper vigilant.

Ive had insomina since I was a kid. Used to drag myself to school on a hours sleep regularly.
Now I just follow my sleep pattern, i tend to fall asleep early around 8/9pm and wake up around 3-4am. I function a lot better since doing this.

Poor you. I hope you got some rest. Insomnia is debilitating, I've had it for about 35 years! I'm on anti depressants which won't work for everyone and sadly don't work every night but they tend to stop me waking in the night which was the worst thing for me as I struggled to get back to sleep (obviously wth OH snoring next to me). OH tells me to have a nap if I'm tired, my reply is "if I can't sleep at night, how the fuck am I supposed to sleep during the day?!" My 1 tip is don't look at the clock if you're awake. For me, I'm just then worrying about how long I've been awake & how long before the alarm goes off

(((Hugs))

I've had insomnia since I was a teenager. Still haven't discovered anything that works really. I'm a reader so always read if sleep isnt coming. Though lying with eyes closed just resting is better than nothing. Insomnia with a little baby is fucking hard, hopefully it gets better for you soon

Op i hear you. I've been sleeping pretty well lately but out of nowhere, have had 2 really bad nights this week. The thing that works the most for me is putting on a programme I've watched a million times. It stops me lying there stressing about not being able to sleep as much but also if there's a chance I can sleep, I will as I'm not staying awake to see what happens.

I have insomnia too which came on after having a baby - it’s been about two years now of good and bad patches. What has really helped me is taking slow release melatonin and a word association game called Cognitive Shuffling… look it up! It seriously works.

I have been struggling with sleep, hence up for the day at 5am on a Sunday 😵‍💫
One thing that has helped is a Bluetooth sleep mask that my kids bought me! I thought it was a rubbish present at first (sorry kids, I pretended to love it as soon as I opened it of course) but I can put a pod cast on my phone and listen to that for as long as it takes me to fall asleep, if it is on low volume you would definitely hear a baby cry so no worries about sleeping through an upset child etc.
I think it tricks my brain into believing it is being entertained for as long as it likes but because I am in bed with my eyes shut eventually sleep wins! Not worked out what to do about the 5am wake times yet though.

Very much not an insomniac, but have an exclusively breastfed 5 week old Velcro baby who doesn’t sleep much and needs held when she does. We’re attempting cosleeping, but even lying on the bed next to me she can’t go more than an hour! She needs held for 20 mins once she falls asleep, leaving me, at most, 40 minutes to sleep. I find it hard to fall asleep knowing I’m on a countdown. It sometimes helps me to remember that even lying down with your eyes closed is restorative and if I can do that for 40 mins it’s better than nothing.

Regarding your walk, I would not go! I went for two long walks on Friday with baby, who slept the whole time on each (wrap is her fave place to be) and the physical tiredness from that on top of the lack of sleep ruined Saturday.

Hullo, hope you have managed to get back to sleep, OP. I'm awake too with health niggles... but I remember the struggle with babies! And snoring husband... It's good to feel not so alone, though sorry so many are awake when they don't want to be - wishing a restorative sleep to all. 😴

i went through a period of terrible insomnia when both mine were babies - I’ve always been bad at getting back to sleep if I’m interrupted so obviously that’s all the time with a young baby. All that helped me was a cup of tea and taking Nuromol.

I’m awake now becuse my DD (now 8) wet the bed(depressingly not unusual) I had to get up and strip sheets etc. I’m now perimenopausal too so that’s probably me done for the night. I’ll be lying here worrying about everything.

Another insomniac here. I can’t sleep due to chronic pain. Am fed up with getting up so early but I just can’t lay in bed as it hurts too much. I average about 4 hours each night!!!! I am hoping things get a bit better but have accepted I will have pain and disability and just get through each day the best I can with a smile on my face and a stock response of “I am fine/ok”.
Hopefully your sleeping will get back to normal as your little one gets older. Can you have a nap when they have theirs?

Hoping that everyone has fallen asleep.....
😴

I'm in the dark with my cats right now too.
😺

Oh gosh yes, the temps I suggested are too cold for baby, for sure.
Heck, most adults would likely complain it's too cold too. (It is, but I love heavy blankets, weighted ones and down duvets...the wright also helps me sleep)

Yes, I've spent many a sleepless night trying to be productive in the kitchen.
Sometimes a nice warm bath relaxes you, too

That sounds awful, I'm so sorry you're feeling poorly! Though a purring cat always makes life a little better. Hoping you're feeling better soon

Piriton is always helpful for me in these situations

God knows why I like it.😁