Ashamed of the way DS is behaving

I’ve lived in London forever and it sounds like standard issue drunken behaviour on the tube. Doesn’t sound particularly intimidating, but quite stupid – especially cartwheeling on a tube platform, when you could easily fall onto the tracks. I suppose my parents would also have been shocked to see what I was getting up to in my 20s but the difference is I wasn’t sharing it online.

I don’t think anyone in London would be intimidated by a bunch of drunk lawyers drinking champagne on the night tube tbh!

I think you and most relies here are over-reacting.

He is probably being a bit silly / irritating but nothing you describe reaches the threshold of intimidating or disorderly behaviour.

His account is private, nobody but his followers, who he approves, will see it.

Obviously if you felt this was an incredibly regular lifestyle to the detriment of his work and personal life, that would be different. But it sounds like it’s a few nights out as a 29 year old & within the bounds of what’s normal at the stage in life.

He's a bit old to be messing around like that. To me, that's more student age behaviour. So yes, I understand why you're embarrassed about his behaviour.

I wouldn't class a girl doing a cartwheel or people playing music loud as 'intimidating'

Agree. As a lone woman I'd probably have a little smile to myself about the platform stuff. Music out loud on public though is a crossing a line. But I still wouldn't see that as intimidating. Just inconsiderate.

I wouldn't post on social media, but Instagram stories do disappear.

Don't see why people say you aren't allowed to raise your views though just because he's an adult.

Mountain.......molehill

I guess if you’ve told him what you think; that prospective clients and employers might see it; he keeps it doing it, then that’s who he is.

It shows questionable judgment in two respects: firstly, by being drunk and disorderly.

I don't think anything OP has described comes anywhere near the bar for drunk and disorderly.

and secondly, by choosing to evidence such behaviour on social media. That, ladies and gentlemen, is pure muppetry.

It's a private account with a handful of followers he has individually approved, and posted via the story feature which disappears after a day.

If he’s a solicitor he should know that the first thing lawyers do when taking a case or interviewing a job candidate is scour their socials for any incriminating insight…
Not sure about whatever legal body he’s reg’d to, but I know GMC/GDC would have a few things to say to a registrant with this profile and if any shit hit the fan, it would be perfect ballast for gross professional misconduct if the wanted to strike you off.
I’m not judging, we were bellends in our twenties too and I’ll say it again, thank god there wasn’t SM.
He should be FAR more discerning and I’d be speaking to him directly.
If he’s actually an estate agent, let him crack on.

He didn’t start this sort of behaviour when you got the Instagram account, it’s just that you are now aware of it and you weren’t aware before. He’s still the same person that he was before you knew all this. Unfollow him.

Young men behave like this all the time and being a solicitor is neither here nor there. However intelligent he is, and I doubt that his intelligence is not credible, given the ubiquity of the legal professions, off the scale intelligence doesn’t prevent a man from being a dick.

I would say something, I wouldn’t be able to not say anything. I’m sure he’s just got swept up with the group antics but especially at 29 he needs to be more considerate to this people around him.

He sounds awful. I can’t stand those sort of people who are loud and take over everything in public places. The fact they do it to share on social media is pathetic.
He needs to grow up.

29 and behaving like this is sad and pathetic.

It wouldn't surprise me if they were all on cocaine too.

Yes, my DS25 would be receiving some choice comments from me if I saw this, both in terms of the impact of that behaviour on others and the sheer idiocy of it being online and potentially accessible to clients and employers. He has no control over what people who are following him do with that material.

Find and follow the "autistic senco" she made a great post about being the woman in a green dress on Facebook .I'm not sure if she's on insta or how insta works but the post is about exactly such intimidating men on trains. You could just share her post.

This.

Well clearly he's not "incredibly intelligent" or a "lovely guy", so you need to rethink those notions.

It is shameful behaviour and embarrassing for you, but there's not a lot you can do about it except tell him how it makes you feel.

He’s an idiot. Posting stuff like that online is a stupid thing to do, especially if you have a job like a solicitor. At 29 I would be appalled if he were my son.

Delete the instagram account. It’s not bringing positivity to your life. It’s not making your relationships stronger with your kids. You can live without it.

I agree with this

Yeah, I would probably be ashamed if I saw my (hypothetical) child being a dick but he's an adult so there is nothing you can do

That’s not true. If I see/hear my kids doing things that I believe misalign with the values under which they were raised, I’m not backwards in pointing it out. They are adults, and they can do whatever they like with my feedback, but you can absolutely let them know you are shocked/ashamed/appalled and why. I’m baffled people would not do this with their kids!

I think there's a way to address it with him. Rather than making it obvious that you're ashamed of his behaviour, you could say that it surprised you as you haven't seen him act like that before. And whilst he's not doing anything wrong (which from the sounds of it, he isn't really), if you were waiting on that platform it would probably make you feel a bit intimidated. It's quite possible that this hasn't even occurred to him. He may well stop you viewing his stories and maybe that's for the best, but it might also make him think twice next time.

Wish I could ever have done a cartwheel. Leave him alone. They aren't hurting anyone. Unfollow.

Ach. I’d put that sort of behaviour down to hooray Henrys who are paid too much money and were brought up with skewed values.

I voted yanbu only because you are his mother and seeing our kids in a different light can be embarrassing/shocking!

Was is behaviour the best? Well, no obviously not! But as mn likes to say it was a snap shot.
Most of us will have done things on a night out that we are less than proud of in the cold light of day...I know I definitely have.
You say he was being noisy on the train, annoying, yes but hardly the crime of the century! The other example you gave was his girlfriend doing a cartwheel so not even his behaviour. Is he expected to police her in public too in case she embarrasses you?
I think you either need to learn to laugh along or don't watch stuff on social media about his nights out.