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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To drop my kids off at partying neighbours at 6am tomorrow

160 replies

Cheepcheepcheep · 15/11/2025 22:37

I won’t do this (I think!) because it wouldn’t be good for the kids but ideas welcome.

My 3yo and 5yo couldn’t sleep 2 weeks ago thanks to a wild party held by our student neighbours (sound system, professional security, hundreds spilling into the street).

DH is away with work this weekend and they are having ‘pres’. In my day this meant shots in the house and games. Now apparently it’s 50+ people shouting and screaming in the garden.

I knocked on their door earlier and explained that, we know we live near a uni campus, some parties are expected. But having another huge party 2 weeks later and keeping my tired preschoolers up (with no notice, I’d have taken them to my mum and dads had I known!) is unacceptable. I said I was going to be up with them at 5.30am (as usual) tomorrow and threatened to drop them over while they’re nursing their hangovers.

Obviously I won’t drop 3 & 5 year olds in a house of hungover students at 6am but AIBU for being tempted?!

OP posts:
bigdecisionstomake · 16/11/2025 09:07

I work in this sector OP and most Unis these days have an 'Off Campus Accommodation Officer'. Can't say for sure about Surrey though. Their job will be to ensure that students have integrated into the community effectively and are living in a respectful manner. If you report the repeated disturbance to them they should be able to send someone out to have a word/call them in to speak to them at Uni.

The other route you could try is the local council. If the property is an HMO (it will be automatically if there are 5 or more tenants and in some LA areas as few as 4) there will be a licensing department who will be responsible for ensuring HMOs are being managed effectively which will include anti-social behaviour management.

Hoipers · 16/11/2025 09:06

EditorInChief · 16/11/2025 07:31

For being inconsiderate fuckers. Having parties isn't illegal but annoying the shit out of your neighbours should have consequences.

Exactly.
It certainly wasn't a one off when my cousin took action.
It had become a regular occurrence in a large house not far from the university, her husband worked there.
So far from a one off.
It had been a family home and when it was inherited by a son living abroad he decided to rent it out to students.

Invinoveritaz · 16/11/2025 08:57

I had a teenage neighbour who did this when his parents went away. I took great delight in playing heavy metal full blast at 9 am whilst he and his mates were sleeping it off.

Tealtoffee21 · 16/11/2025 08:54

Do you think that there might be drugs being taken and sold at the parties? Police might find it harder to ignore, particularly if you go over to complain and are offered some.

A more immediate response - and I did this once, in a haze of sleep deprivation, is to go over - the door will be open, and pull the plug on the sound system while shouting at them that next time you're bringing a hammer and you'll smash it to pieces, and that they are selfish bastards. They're not going to call the police.

It wasn't planned when I did this, but was surpisingly effective.

IdentifyingAsAWoollyMammoth · 16/11/2025 08:39

I used to live in a ground floor maisonette with another above. New tenant moved in, youngish, bringing his girlfriend with him. Regularly ridiculously loud music until 3 in the morning, even in the week (they didn't seem to have jobs, God knows how they paid the rent). Often it wouldn't start up until gone midnight, presumably because they'd just got back in. One night I tried to sleep in the car because the music was so loud in my flat but could still here it, so drove car round the block.

I discovered bloke across road knew the landlord so I got his address and phone number. I wrote a letter detailing all the noise and said that next time it happened I would ring said landlord up no matter what the time. Hand delivered it. Sure enough, two days later, music started at 3 am. So I rang landlord and woke him up. And again three days later.

Next day, landlord knocked on my door telling me he was going to evict them. Which he did. Peace was restored and several other neighbours brought me champagne.

MossAndLeaves · 16/11/2025 08:38

Honestly at that age and acting like that the more you retaliate the worse they'll likely be.
I would try appealing to their conscience instead of trying to annoy them.
When DH is back try to muster up some tears and go round saying the DC were crying for hours last night as they were exhausted and you were up with them at 6am and they've spent all day upset and tired. Ask if there's any way they could use a friends house who doesn't have young children next to it instead.

Byeckythump · 16/11/2025 08:29

Past experience says police won’t come out for noise but any hint of violence, drugs or criminal damage puts you further up the priority list.

Might be worth contacting the station to see if you’ve got a community support officer, I ended up with the mobile number of ours and she was so helpful.

Anon234678964322 · 16/11/2025 08:26

I’d play coco melon or hey duggee stick song as loud as possible, one song on repeat against the shared wall and then go off and take the kids to the park for a couple of hours as pay back!!

TheNightingalesStarling · 16/11/2025 08:13

Cheepcheepcheep · 16/11/2025 07:48

Morning all. Thanks for the sympathy! Currently sat with a cup of tea while the kids watch a film. Tempting to send them out in the garden to make a racket, but a) as others have noted that’s not fair on others, especially my neighbours on the other side (2x 60yos and a 90yo) and also b) I would then have to listen to the noise! (I’ll take Moana instead tbh).

Just to clear up, last night was a ‘normal’ pre-drinks ie normal speakers, probs about 50 people, lots in the garden shouting/smoking and they left at 11 on the dot. I’m used to those, most of the neighbours in the student house over the years have had one or two instances of this per term. It’s just the fact this is coming on the back of the massive party with amplified music/security two weeks ago (I know, the security seems unbelievable, apparently he’s a friend of a friend with a badge who does it. Plus the students around here seem to have some significant parental backing, based on the cars they all drive).

University won’t do anything unless it’s past 11 which isn’t ideal when I have kids who usually go to bed at 7.30! Once or twice a term is just a trade off (it’s lovely being next door to a student house in the summer, it’s silent as they’re not there!) but the frequency is amping up and they mentioned last night they’ll be doing it again next Wednesday as it’s another in the house’s 21st.

When I went over to complain last night the response was ‘it’s just pres, we’re allowed to have them’.

Keep a diary highlighting the hours, outside shouting, outside music etc. Also any rudeness such as their responses like "we are allowed to".

Glenthebattleostrich · 16/11/2025 08:13

Cheepcheepcheep · 15/11/2025 22:41

Well that too. But I quite like the idea of banging on their door anyway!

Council don’t care. Landlord is some conglomerate offshore. Tempted to report them to the university who are fairly good but don’t want to screw their degrees, just want to get them to understand the impact of their decisions.

Report them to the university. They have no issue messing with the sleep of all the neighbours and actions have consequences.

Twinklewonderkins · 16/11/2025 08:10

Suddenly find Jesus and play hymns super loud with the speakers against the party wall all morning?

Cheepcheepcheep · 16/11/2025 08:06

Denim4ever · 15/11/2025 23:22

I understand, but 5:30 wake up is unsustainable for a 5 year old and a habit to break for a younger child.

Thanks for this, by the way. The three year old was in with me at 5.30am as predicted, the five year old had the good grace to wake at 6.20. I welcome any suggestions to get them to sleep later (actually sleeping, not just ‘being in their room’). Should I drug them?

After half a decade of being woken at the crack of dawn 365 days a year, it’s clearly a selfish preference on my part 🙄

OP posts:
Cheepcheepcheep · 16/11/2025 07:55

BootMaker · 16/11/2025 02:16

Difficult one.

I live in a 'student area' of a city. I live here because it's an amazing area. It's green and there are so many independent shops and businesses and it's vibrant.

I accept that there's noise, I live in a Georgian beauty of a house that's a bit tucked away, but, there's noise every day. It's the trade off.

I like the area, I accept the downsides.

I choose to live here. My house cost over a million, the students are here because it's near the University.

It's mostly fine.

Suspect you may be in my old uni city, where I lived near a famous bridge for 2 years. If you are, I’m jealous! It was a lovely place to be a student. Fairly sure the permanent residents would have come down on us like a ton of bricks if we’d started regular parties.

I’m with you, generally I love living here. But I was definitely sitting on Rightmove while gritting my teeth last night!

OP posts:
Volpini · 16/11/2025 07:55

CautiousLurker2 · 15/11/2025 23:02

I live next town along, also with a univeristy college, so feel for you. My DD is in halls in London and shares an apartment with students that are similarly minded to your neighbours and who are still up at 530 choosing to go clubbing and bring home 20 or so drunk randoms who scream/shout/and play music all night in the kitchen (next to her room) thurs-sunday. She is on her knees. Some of her flatmates travel home to Birmingham at the weekend as it’s the only way to escape and the uni do nothing.

No idea why [this minority of] students have no consideration for others.

Edited

When I was in halls, there was a payphone in every flat - with the phone numbers of all the flats on.
so when i had a flat that behaved like this, I called them and told them if they didnt pack it in I’d be calling them every morning for a week at 6.30am.
They carried on. So I followed through with this.
They didnt kniw who or which flat i was calling from.
They got the message.

Cheepcheepcheep · 16/11/2025 07:51

Againforget · 16/11/2025 07:43

I’m surprised that no other neighbours in the area were up, out and addressing it?

is there a street WhatsApp group or similar op?

There is. Multiple houses called the police when the massive event happened a fortnight ago, but last nights wasn’t on the same scale so don’t think anyone did. As it was more ‘normal party’ level, me being next door would have been more affected - there wasn’t any commotion out the front like there was during the big event, so wouldn’t have affected the other side of the road.

OP posts:
ByQuaintAzureWasp · 16/11/2025 07:49

Id go and wake them up early and if possible park a car near their windows with music blaring

Cheepcheepcheep · 16/11/2025 07:48

Morning all. Thanks for the sympathy! Currently sat with a cup of tea while the kids watch a film. Tempting to send them out in the garden to make a racket, but a) as others have noted that’s not fair on others, especially my neighbours on the other side (2x 60yos and a 90yo) and also b) I would then have to listen to the noise! (I’ll take Moana instead tbh).

Just to clear up, last night was a ‘normal’ pre-drinks ie normal speakers, probs about 50 people, lots in the garden shouting/smoking and they left at 11 on the dot. I’m used to those, most of the neighbours in the student house over the years have had one or two instances of this per term. It’s just the fact this is coming on the back of the massive party with amplified music/security two weeks ago (I know, the security seems unbelievable, apparently he’s a friend of a friend with a badge who does it. Plus the students around here seem to have some significant parental backing, based on the cars they all drive).

University won’t do anything unless it’s past 11 which isn’t ideal when I have kids who usually go to bed at 7.30! Once or twice a term is just a trade off (it’s lovely being next door to a student house in the summer, it’s silent as they’re not there!) but the frequency is amping up and they mentioned last night they’ll be doing it again next Wednesday as it’s another in the house’s 21st.

When I went over to complain last night the response was ‘it’s just pres, we’re allowed to have them’.

OP posts:
Onearmedscissor · 16/11/2025 07:46

Being noisy back seems to be the only thing in my experience works with noisy neighbours. You need to inconvenience them.

Maybe have an epic party through exam season...

Againforget · 16/11/2025 07:43

I’m surprised that no other neighbours in the area were up, out and addressing it?

is there a street WhatsApp group or similar op?

Agapornis · 16/11/2025 07:42

Hoipers · 15/11/2025 23:24

My cousin had this issue.
Herself and a couple of neighbours started recording the parties and drunken racket at 2-3am.
Rang the police, and sent it to the police.
They sent it to the President of the university and the media.
It went viral.
After years of bullshit and promises from the university, it was the media attention that did the trick.
It was sorted.

Start video taping and send it into the local media naming the institution they attend.
Nothing to lose.

Agree with media, and posting it to socials. Your local newspaper will love this.

Friendlyfart · 16/11/2025 07:40

You can call police and they’ll do a raid if it’s going on past unsociable hours, but if it’s not late then you can’t really. My DCs as students def went to some parties that were shut down!

its v selfish of them - DD lived in a residential area at uni last year (a few student houses but not many) and they were very considerate to the neighbours - and it was actually their attached side who pissed them off with non-reg building work after hours.

Their landlord had words and they apologised. Just to give a perspective that not all students are loud and obnoxious!!

I’d be playing really loud music next to their attached side round about now!!!

Againforget · 16/11/2025 07:40

SmalltownCEO · 16/11/2025 07:33

Actually lots of kids down here (SE) know people who work in security. Everyone seems to have a built brother or friend now gyms are so popular.
Parties do get out of control as it’s so easy for everyone to tell their mates.

I have to ask

you know “lots” of students who have contacts in the world of professional security?

Bikergran · 16/11/2025 07:40

I don't know where you are, but my local Uni has its own security service who will send a van out to a student house and tell them to dial it back. Check if yours does this. We had a student party in the next door house years ago, which was ridiculously loud until about 4 am. At 6 am my husband went and started/ran his very noisy motorcycle outside their house for a good 15 minutes.

WiltedLettuce · 16/11/2025 07:40

Arm the kids with kitchen pots and pans and let them have their own mini "disco" right outside these tossers' door.

SmalltownCEO · 16/11/2025 07:33

Againforget · 16/11/2025 07:24

Students paid for “professional security”? 🤔

Actually lots of kids down here (SE) know people who work in security. Everyone seems to have a built brother or friend now gyms are so popular.
Parties do get out of control as it’s so easy for everyone to tell their mates.