Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

So acknowledge that they already made the effort to turn up and stop asking more of them. Being family doesn't make them obligated to provide your desired level of input. Small girls are nowhere near as interesting to others as they are to their doting parents. You chose to have her, they didn't.

Did you and your husband really go out and play hide and seek when you had guests ? There is rude people here for sure and it’s not the teenagers. You sound lile
an insufferable family so maybe they won’t visit again

Do you always play with dd ? Sounds like she can’t entertain herself

if have people over def won’t want to play hide and seek as want to chat to them

a 6yr has nothing in Common with her cousins of late teens /early 20’s and prob find her slightly annoying

doesn’t make her a brat - but she doesn’t need to be centre of attention esp when grown ups are trying to talk / catch up

ah just what I was expecting, a drip feed esp when the majority of replies were not agreeing with the Op.

Why would they want it? Not everyone's life revolves around children.

No, it's not. Stop expecting your guests to play babysitter.

What do you mean? Who do you mean?

YABU. This is why I am very glad I don't have family with kids. I don't like playing with kids at all. I don't dislike children, but I am no good with them and prefer the ones who are not boisterous and fun loving (I was very reserved and also very polite as a child: I was often invited to places where other kids were forbidden because I could be trusted not to make a nuisance of myself) I didn't even enjoy playing with other kids when I was a kid. Your niece and nephew don't have to engage with your child if they don't want to.

SNAP! You need to play snap. Everybody loves it and you must have a couple of decks of cards floating around. Hopefully the DN's are socially aware enough to let your DC win sometimes. They don't need to leave the table. Then send DC off to watch a fave movie, whilst you catch up with DN's. Have some lunch /dinner and job done. DC can help set the table. Easypeasy.

Er, yes, entertainment. You want them to play games with her and engage in small child conversation. That is entertaining her.

You already know they have different personalities, are reserved, yet you still expect them to act out of character for you and 'join in with tomfoolery'.

Perhaps, as young adults, even being there was the effort? Perhaps they would rather have been with people closer in age?

"She has Adhd"

That's a pretty big detail to leave until page 4.

I say this as a parent with ADHD kids - what you think is normal 6 year old behaviour isn't what other people think is normal behaviour. 5-6 hours in the company of an ADHD 6 year old is pretty overwhelming for people who aren't used to it. You had an adult gathering in your house. They were never going to "join in with the tom foolery".

I think people are being a bit mean about your daughter. She’s 6, so Year 1 and just learning the intricacies of social interaction.

My DC are a good 10+ years older than their cousins and always played with them and entertained them at big family gatherings. I only found out some years later how stressful they found it. But they were too polite to say anything.

I wouldn’t necessarily expect your nieces to play games if it really isn’t their thing, but it wouldn’t have killed them to have a little chat, maybe asked about school and friends or whatever. They shouldn’t have just ignored her. That is rude.

She has Adhd

Drippy drippy drip drip

Also, what were her parents supposed to do? They had to do something to entertain her and the relatives were there for 5-6 hours. That’s a very long time for a 6 year old to be “seen and not heard.” Was she just supposed to amuse herself for that whole time?

I wish your girl were my niece! I would love to have a sister and a child in my life but my only sister died, and when I see families not interacting with the kids like this, it is so sad as many of us would give anything to have that little girl in our lives.

I wish you lived near me because I would be asking to be honorary sister so that your daughter gets lots of interaction when she visits! I am a naturally quiet person but if a child wanted me to play a game, I'd be right into it! What a sad situation. :(

My goodness, there are some horrible people on this thread. So many unpleasant comments about a SIX year old ranging from assumptions, to full-on invention based on nothing the OP actually said.

I sometimes think that if people on Mumsnet talked about any other category of humans the way they talk about children they would be banned. They’re one of the only demographics it’s ok to say you hate (even on a website primarily aimed at parents) although they do the least harm.

I wouldn’t expect visiting family to play with my child if they don’t want to or act like they’re the centre of the universe. I WOULD expect them have some manners and to be friendly and engage with them and not pretend they don’t exist.

Because they are a member of the family and matter as much as everyone else.