Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

"I totally agree with this, except that there were no other children: the young people were 18 and 20. I would have been really annoyed at being pestered by a kid at that age."

Yes, I just hadn't picked up the fact they were adults when I posted. I had it in my head that they were in their early or mid teens.

I wouldn't expect an eighteen year old or a twenty year old child to do much in the way of playing with a six year old, no.

Did your sibling play with your child?

Nope. Posters are neither drunk nor looking to wind up and upset others. They just disagree with you.

Wow, there are so many people looking to give OP a beating tonight.

Kids can be annoying, but wanting to engage doesn't mean the girl is a brat? That is a pretty awful thing to say about an excited child.

Also, famiiles are different. But if I visit someone in their home, stay for 6 hours, of course I will expect the kids to want to play at some point. It's not like a 6 year old can just take herself out for a bit to occupy herself for that length of time otherwise.

If I don't want to interact with someone's child, or just want some adult time, I'd make arrangements with the parents solo, outside of the house. Go out for a coffee or a meal to catch up properly. But if you are visiting the home of the family - the whole family are likely to be present and it's rude to exclude.

The girl was a bit over-excited and could reign it in. But these are cousins and aunts. Not the bloody bishop! I find it so odd that others on this thread stand on such ceremony with very close relations. Those saying OP is unreasonable for going outside to play with her child - I highly doubt she forbade the guests for joining them in the garden? I also doubt it was in the first couple of hours when people are catching up. Who want's to sit in someone elses living room for hours on end without getting up and stretching your legs. I couldn't sit for 6 hours straight, so I don't expect an excitable child to manage it either.

Of course, not everyone is up for joining in physical play. But to barely look up from your phones? Not wanting to engage at all? I think it's odd that a few have become quite vicious when defending this behaviour.

And that one is fucking obnoxious.

"People are disagreeing with me so they're all drunk" is a new low!

Oh dear, I've not had an alcoholic drink for about 34 years.
No I am not an alcoholic or a recovering one
I just don't like the taste.

Of course the Op wants the thread removed, as it's not going her way.

it doesn’t really surprise me that at that age, they do not have much interest in their 6 year old cousin. Sure, some young people might but certainly not all. I would expect your adult siblings to initiate some conversation with a little one, or for younger cousins to join in the play but can quite see why this might not appeal to older teenagers.

They're just Ridiculous..My girls are 18 and 16,Cousins are 11 and 8,Niece 20 months and Nephew 4 months and they play with all of them..your family sound bloody miserable and I'd be mortified and would have a word with my girls if they didn't interact with their cousins or Niece or Nephew but I wouldn't have too as they have good manners and enjoy their family gatherings..

How things are from my perspective OP:

I love children. I had a large family myself. I have done the young child thing for 30 years. I have also not touched a drop of alcohol for many years, so I'm not drunk.

I am now perimenopausal, I don't have the energy I had when I had young children. In fact, sometimes I'm just tired. I look forward to visiting people knowing I can sit down and have a breather.

If you have young children, I will greet them, ask about school, oooh and ahhh about the things they have made that they show me. I might play a mindless board game for a bit, so I've included them. Then, other than the odd verbal interaction, I'm not interested. I want to relax and enjoy the visit. I don't want to run around. If I'm having a good day maybe, but that's on whether I want to or not.

I might run around more with a grandchild (which I don't yet have), but I'm done with all that stuff in general. If I've done the above I've included your child and been polite to them, but they're really not that interesting to me and I'm still just wanting a quiet visit.

I totally agree with this, except that there were no other children: the young people were 18 and 20. I would have been really annoyed at being pestered by a kid at that age.

I don't think it's very fair to say everyone disagreeing with you isn't a mum. Those people are basically saying they are mums and would let their child do that/wouldn't expect people to engage with their child like that. But I'm not a mum and I always play with the kids. It becomes very hurtful though when so many mums try and other you and blame you/the group you belong to for everyone's negative opinion of children.

I was about to write this exact same post! You have to understand that not everyone will be as excited by your daughter as you are.

When my daughter was the same age, some of our visitors engaged with her and some didn't. She still remembers in vivid detail the teenagers and adults who were really kind to her and helped her with activities. But no one judged the ones who didn't.

Maybe next time, tell her in advance that you are going to set up a children's table for her while the grown-ups talk. Put some colouring books and other interesting activities on it so she can sit there and be part of things while also allowing the rest of your guests to chat and catch up. If you take the pressure off the other children, they may well gravitate towards that table anyway.

I had much younger cousins and loved playing with them. In fact normally I'd be playing games with them and you'd only see us when called for a meal.
My sister would have hated that and was really awkward in relating to them. What she wanted to do was talk with the adults.
I'd often be initiating a children's table at gatherings ( Tbf they all came straight to me) and Dsis would be fighting to make sure she was as far away from it as possible.

We each thought the other was strange, but neither was wrong. Simply we were different personalities who liked different things.

You posted on AIBU, with a poll to boot, just to be really sure. Now the prevailing view is that you are indeed being unreasonable and you’re getting very stroppy about it. Well that’s never happened before…🙄

If you’re just going to decide those who think you are being unreasonable are drunk (the majority? Really?) why did you even bother? At the very least you’re in the wrong topic.

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I’m not, you all hate children.

Don’t forget: You're all drunk

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I’m not, you all hate children.
Also you are all drunk!

That's really sad. Six is a great age to have fun and some great and funny conversations. They were probably too engrossed in their phones.

I haven't seen anyone posting that seems drunk? Most responses seem quite measured and well thought out. They may not be saying what you want to hear though, but that's a different matter...

In my family we all join in the fun because we're all similar, GPs especially. I guess not everyone is the same but more effort could be made.

OP: AIBU?
Everyone: Yes
OP: No I’m not, you all hate children.

My nephew has 2 small children, one of whom can be really full on when we visit. My 16 year old engages with her but I make it clear she can stop if she’s had enough, because her mum definitely uses other people to keep her entertained during visits. I understand entirely that mum needs some down time, but I also recognise my teenager finds it hard sometimes and she doesn’t always want to be doing it. You might think it’s sad your family won’t engage, but that’s your issue, not theirs.

My kids are 18, 17, 16, 6 and 4. Even my own teenagers don't want to engage constantly with the little ones for 6 hours. It's mad to expect it from anybody.
As other posters have said, why not get her doing things like crafts, colouring or board games that others can join in. Thats always a winner and adults can chat too. Or suggest a walk if it's not raining, or a trip to a pub or cafe. Makes it an adventure for the little one and adults will enjoy it too.

Well, not everything is figured out. But yes, I've done a pretty damn good job with the hand I was dealt, thank you for recognising that. The key is equipping your child with the skills for their adult life in this imperfect world. Its obviously much easier to just centre them in the here and now and expect everyone to pander to them. This isn't sustainable though, and fails them in the long term.

Oh stop it. You made a ridiculous post and now you are insulting people.

Ah yes. Always best to get an AIBU taken down when most people think you’re BU.