Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

I think there's a difference between engaging , maybe reading a book or playing snap (or whatever) with the child and running around playing hide and seek

Teach your child to alter their behaviour depending on who they're with.

Nobody is saying its ok to completely ignore her or not spending anytime playing with her. Its what op was expecting people to do go outside to play hide and seek in November, run around. Allowing the 6 year old to be bouncing around all over the place talking at everyone. If dd had got out some colouring and maybe a board games where the adults can still stay in the same room and talk to everyone i think she would of got a different response. I also don't think it would hurt for op to say no once in a while, going outside to play hide and seek when you have visitors is crazy.

And then throw their toys out of the pram and want the thread deleted 😂

I haven’t seen any drunk replies

Honestly this thread is wild. Sometimes I feel like I’ve stumbled into a parallel universe on here as it’s so far removed from how people I know in real life relate to each other.

I never appreciated before how lucky we were that our DC grew up with so people in their life (outside our own family unit) who were patient with them and took an interest in them when they were wee.

Now, years later, I often have other adults (friends’ parents, sports coaches etc) telling me how polite and well-behaved they are. They can chat to just about anyone and always take an interest in other people. I’m sure part of the reason for this is that other people made an effort with them when they were young.

I have children/young adults the age of the OP's relatives and I'm trying to imagine them going to someone's house and being expected to play hide and seek with a 6 year old. Just no.

They would potentially be up for a short game of Uno, or snakes and ladders. But not hide and seek, "let's play dollies", that sort of play.

It’s not down to your family to entertain your kid . Far getter you teach her to calm down and behave when you have visitors or you may end up having no visitors

As a parent, I used to keep a little box of novel things that I would bring out when we were visiting our had visitors, maybe that would be a help.
Maybe set aside some stuff that can be engaged in quietly with her that isn't all encompassing, so brio train set, a jigsaw, some special colouring things, icing pens for decorating biscuits etc....

I would expect to make a bit of a fuss of a younger child but I wouldn't expect my children to.
I wouldn't have engaged with running around games though. I may have suggested a walk to the park to run off some of her energy.

No. Because a) at that age (the cousins) i didn't have any interest in children. and b) it would be rewarding bad behaviour (I similarly don't pet animals that jump at me, when they are calm, then i interact)

As a parent? i would never have let my child pester my guests, family or not.

ETA. As for that last sentence. I cannot eyeroll enough to convey how twee that is. Of course i can see the world through the eyes of a 6 year old. I was one for starters, and i have had several of my own.

Well behaved kids? even a little excited for a few minutes? no issue at all. The behaviour OP describes? absolutely not.

Some posters on here being very rude about a small girl who has committed the crime of being six and trying to speak to her family members: her grandparents, auntie or uncle and cousins.

nah. OPs own description - followed up with the ADHD - is that she was bouncing around talking at them.

I would have told her to calm the fuck down (in an age appropriate way) and then given her 10-15 minutes to talk.
And then I'd want to talk to the adults without being pestered. Other people are different and nobody is obliged to placate a child who is being a lot bit of a pest.

OP sounds like she was the one on the wine tbh.

It’s a shame the cousins didn’t engage at all, it’s possible they just don’t know how, or were resenting being at what they thought of as a boring family visit. I would have engaged in some colouring or a board game. You were completely wrong to both go in the garden though to play hide and seek. That was rude to your guests and over-indulgent of your daughter.

"Tomfoolery" is not really my thing and I don't join in with it regardless of whether the people doing it are children or adults. I don't enjoy playing with children at all - it's one of the reasons I'm child-free. I don't think they're brats and I'm not rude to them, I just say "sorry, no thanks, aunty gannett is tired!" and give a meaningful look to their parents - who then play with their own child, which is their job. I'd be really unimpressed if any of them threw a hissy fit about me not wanting to do a job I never signed up for.

Some of the children are now teenagers and I'm much more comfortable chatting to them - I treat them like adults and as my equals, and that's all teenagers want really.

Really?

You wouldn’t be able to spare a few minutes to play with a child related to you? It’s not a stranger, it’s a member of your own family, the child of your sibling and yet you can’t engage with them for even a few minutes?

How sad for you to miss out on seeing the world through the eyes of a 6 year old for a few minutes of imaginary play.

I couldn’t care less about other people’s 6 year olds, family or not. Sorry OP. Once my own children were older I stopped caring. Maybe they’re like me. No way would I have played with a 6 yr old, I’d have asked a couple of questions then expected her to do some colouring or quiet activity and not bother the adults.

I think you're getting a hard time here OP.

My DB has an 8 old year old who actually is quite annoying and wants to be centre of attention but my teens would still take time to converse and play games with them. Maybe not hide and seek, but with toys or board games.
I also would ask how school is, about their hobbies etc.

If my brother invited me over and then started playing hide and seek with his kids, I’d think that very rude. I go to catch up with my brother. His kids are 5 and 3 and not half as interesting as he thinks. I do engage with them but after 10 minutes of pretending to die because the older one has shot me I honestly do want to die. And my brother just sits and chats to his wife or is on his phone.

Some of the replies in this thread are mental
I’m not a natural with small children but I would certainly engage with a niece, nephew or cousin if I’d gone round for a family visit
When my own kids were small my parents loved playing games with them

I thought the days of children being seen and not heard were left in the 1950’s but they seem to be alive and well on Mumsnet

I do understand why you are sad about this but as an 18/20 year old I wouldn’t have been interested in a 6 year old either. I can find young kids a bit hard at times going to be honest.

She’s their relative but not their responsibility to entertain. And whilst I understand why it would be nice if they could engage, it can’t be expected.

A seven month old accidentally dropping yoghurt is not a brat. A six year old expecting adults to centre them, constantly interrupting, expecting adults to play hide and seek at an adult gathering, whilst their parents indulgently look on unable to ever say no to them, is a brat, ADHD or no ADHD. And I say that as a (sober!) mum of a child with ADHD.

Actually, if I got on the wine, I'd be more likely to join in tomfoolery.

You are sounding more and more ghastly as you continue to post

Also the word brat is horrible - my mum said my daughter was being a brat when she accidentally dropped yoghurt off her spoon the first time she used one aged, what, 7 months? Some people just feel good throwing these kind of terms around - often the people who are most sensitive if anyone says anything less than positive about them.

Some posters on here being very rude about a small girl who has committed the crime of being six and trying to speak to her family members: her grandparents, auntie or uncle and cousins.

On the one hand OP of course it would have been nice if they’d made an effort with her, I expect you were nice to them when you were the childless auntie and they were small and wanted to play.

On the other hand it is good for kids to learn that not everyone finds them as fascinating as their parents do. Don’t worry it won’t do her any harm, in another few years the kids will be in a different life phase and maybe get on better.

Sad that some people seem to think adults shouldn’t play with children. Says a lot tbh.

I’ve not had a drop…. And I have 6 kids. And I’m a foster carer.

I still can’t imagine any day that I’d actively want to play with other people’s 6 year olds.

Exactly! I’m a mum and I’m not drunk and I think the OP is being totally unreasonable. If I visit family or friends I visit to talk to adults, certainly not to play children’s entertainer with other people’s kids! I would speak to the child but I would draw the line at playing. If you really were running around playing hide and seek while you had guests then that’s really odd. When my DC were small I was very conscious of them not annoying guests and I would intervene if I thought they were.