Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

I think it's quite reasonable not to want to be surrounded by children in a pub later in the evening.

Wow can't believe they flew to a different country to visit you and only stayed 6 hours.

No, am of the exactly the same opinion as last night and really shocked to see some people and their views towards children.

you know the views are towards you and your (lack of) parenting, right? Nothing to do with the child. Who was, in your words, bouncing around trying to talk to the adults. Which is annoying. HTH

What spefically gave you that impression

I don't think there's any evidence at all that anyone replying was drunk. People are allowed to disagree with you without being subjected to that repeated accusation.

Why would they want to play with your six-year-old?

They’re not an age where they’d have their own kids and if they have no younger siblings, it’s likely they don’t have a clue how to interact with small children and probably don’t even know what children that age enjoy.

I wouldn’t expect to be required to entertain someone else’s kid at a social gathering or play games with them etc. I also find some kids much more fun than others and that would be a factor in whether I offered to play with them or not.

If I had accused people of being drunken child hating saddos last night I'd be feeling a bit mortified today. But I suppose it takes all sorts.

*Disclaimer so far today I've had two cups of tea and a diet coke. Not a sniff of 🍷in sight.

I was thinking about it this morning and do think in part it’s due to where we live now (not Uk) people love children where we are, children are included in everything and are to be celebrated, as are old people. It’s a lovely attitude to have and we’re very lucky to be around it!

*Just not in your own family, clearly.

Talking to her is a reasonable request, playing running around games isn't.

I have a nephew who's parents would believe he is charming, but in reality struggles with not being the centre of family attention at all times.

I think it's a mistake to believe that managing your dc is anyone's responsibility except the parents, particularly if they are the only dc at an adult get together. It might be helpful to have more activities available, I wonder if quiet relatives would be more willing to engage in colouring together or playing a board game.

Though, if they want to sit and chat, that isn't unreasonable.

Do you still think we were all drunk?

Gosh OP, I hope after a night's sleep you've had a chance to think more clearly about this situation. You didn't come across well last night, accusing people of hating kids, being drunk, attacking you and more.

Of course it's not an easy thing to read that your parenting skills need work, but for the sake of your child I hope you will reflect on these posts and change the way you parent. No one expects a child to be hidden away in a room for 5-6 hours but your expectations aren't reasonable. I agree with the majority - stop using the excuse that your child is only little (she's not that young) and adhd is not an excuse not to set boundaries and say no to her/redirect her to other activities. If you refuse to accept that your child possibly comes across as annoying to others then it might cause more problems for you in the future.

If I went to visit people and they spent their time running around playing hide and seek with their 6 year old I wouldn't be in a rush to go back. Your child sounds annoying and should learn the world doesn't revolve around them.

I think it’s interesting that you say you are left to play hide and seek with your child. My children knew when relatives came over that they’d be sitting down colouring or play games. If your child was 3 that’s different but 6, a child of that age could bring toys to play with in the same space as everyone else or play a game with them.

To add, my children have younger cousins. Their mum sounds similar to you, my children indulge them and play but I do feel it works both ways, my children are older but are still children but it’s like their mum only sees her children as important.

Yabu. There’s a time and a place for hide and seek etc and it’s with other friends her own age. No your niece and nephew wouldn’t be interested and I don’t blame them. I would redirect your daughter to something calmer like a board game perhaps that your niece and nephew can play with her. Running around as parents to play with your child when having guests is really rude and bizarre. Your daughter is not the centre of the world. Your world maybe but if you have guests then you need to accommodate them and that includes you interacting as adults with your guests. Not playing with your child, she can cope
surely for 5/6 hours not being centre of attention and running around.

My niece used to behave similarly at that age. She would dominate any conversation, used to bounce and jump all over the place and was so LOUD. She was like a little hurricane. When my DB would bring her round to visit he would sit watching TV and relaxing and expect us to keep DN entertained while he had a break (which I do understand as he had it round the clock).

I’ll be honest, I used to dread their visits. I had three young DCs of my own but I never felt like I’d been run over by a truck like I did with DN.

I can see both sides here.

OP asks our thoughts on something, doesn’t like what the majority say, so accuses everyone of being drunk child haters. Classic.

Stone cold sober here, sat having a green tea with my cat curled up on my knee, just for context. And I think this all sounds too much. Bouncing around, tomfoolery, hide and seek… no thank you. Not saying I’d totally ignore her of course, I’d happily chat to her, have a few games of uno or admire her colouring, but it sounds as if you and your daughter expected the whole visit to be all about her. And that doesn’t suit everyone, especially “quiet” late teens.

Incidentally, one of my friends is coming round to ours this afternoon. She’ll be bringing her 4 year old. And like all other times she’s brought her, she brings her busy book, some colouring, some play doh etc. We certainly won’t be playing hide and seek and she won’t be bouncing around.

Colouring, Play doh (especially play doh!) and decorating biscuits I find cross the kid/ teen divide. as do YouTube videos of cats. but you’re expecting too much. It’s hard (I had a young kid when all the other family had teens) it gets easier.

This is where, you the parent, break out the Uno or similar game that can be played by allowing conversation to happen simultaneously.

the cousins are 18 and 20.
At that age i would expect them to be talking to the adults more than the bouncy chatty child.
I would expect parents of said child to suggest an activity (uno was a good one, jenga or something) that could be done for about half an hour, and then a normal visit to ensue.

OP says her 6yo was bouncing, running around, talking all the time, wanting to play hide and seek and has ADHD.

She also says her (adult) nephew and niece are very quiet people unlike herself and her husband.

The small amount of engaging a reserved 18 or 20 year old is happy to give a hyperactive 6yo is never going to be enough for her. 6yo kids are knackering and with the best will in the world, pretty boring after a very short time. I love the bones of mine but I'm damned relieved they can mostly entertain themselves.

"Tomfoolery"? Oh hell no. Tic tac toe and the boxes game for 20 minutes, sure.

@Pissingitdownquelsurprise your expectations are out of synch with social mores - and playing hide and seek is just bats. You had no need to get so nasty about people who disagree with you.

Stone cold sober with a coffee, incidentally.

My young adults are like that. They had people around them who took a massive interest in them, but there were some who didn't and that was ok, we picked up the slack in terms of making sure they had some quiet activities with them, suggested meeting places that allowed them to play while adults chatted etc. Made agreements, "Can we have two hours of adults catching up, then we'll do xyz, here's a timer" etc...

Having said that, I am grumpy about their grandfather who didn't really engage with them at all.