Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

I really enjoyed my children, I loved spending time with them at all ages and I supervised them when out. I also enjoyed other people's children at the time too, and interacted with them alongside my own children as well. No problems there, it was a stage of life.

I don't mind children being around in public (if their parents are supervising them, which there are some poor examples of). There were many years I couldn't have a meal in public, or sit down and chat, without an interruption because a child needed attention (which was fine, life stage). I'm not prepared to do that for random kids now. Their parents can have the interrupted meal to deal with their kids in public. Not my problem. It's my time to sit down and enjoy an uninterrupted meal and chat when I'm out. Your kids can be around me but that doesn't mean they are included in what I'm doing.

I was walking around the lake the other day, thinking how nice it is to walk with my children and now not have to be constantly vigilant of child safety near water. You can never switch off. Now I can enjoy the trees and just relaxing my mind. I intend to enjoy that and any children in the area are not on my radar. Their parents can do what I used to do.

You may feel differently in 20 years, OP. That doesn't mean you don't like the presence of children, you may just not want to deal with things that were part of a different life stage.

Maybe, when you have visitors, you can organise for your child to have a friend to visit. Then she'll have someone to play with and not be all over adults to play with her constantly.

Eh, children are tedious, especially when they're not your own and they're bouncing all over you wanting to play.

No, it’s really not too much to expect your own family to speak to and engage with a young member of the family. It should be normal.

You make out that she’s asking a lot by using the phrase ‘bend over backwards’ but if you read all the OP’s posts, her family actually ended up sitting and scrolling on their phones rather than engage with the 6 year old! You really think that’s okay?

It’s sad.

Children are tedious unless you love them (and even then they can still be!) It is what it is, and parents like the OP who think that the world needs to bend over backwards for their little darling don't help.

It does seem that way.

I was obviously really lucky to have amazing aunts, uncles and grandparents that made a huge effort with me - although teenage cousins I can understand not being interested.

It's so sad that so many people on here see children as tedious or boring or annoying. I made a big effort with my nieces and nephew and had a lot of fun.

Little kids are tedious, their games are even more so. And I include my own in that. When she was 6. Because she's my own DD, I obviously did engage, and forced myself to play games. But that's as far as I'd be willing to go, there's zero chance I'd be playing hide and seek or whatever with kids who are not my own. I would ask couple of questions out of politeness, but that would be it. What kind of revelations/stimulating conversation can you get out of a 6 year old? Inane chatter.

Tweens, teens, young adults are a different story. I'd definitely engage with those, much more interesting.

Just read all your posts OP and surprise, surprise I was right, they were on their phones.

I get the impression you've had a hard time on this thread ! Honestly, you are absolutely right that the normal and polite thing to do is to interact.

It’s a sad states of affairs that family don't have the social skills to actually talk and play with younger family members and also that so many posters seem to believe its fine to sit and scroll on a phone at a family gathering! It’s absolutely not the way things should be.

Yes, I would have played with her and got my kids involved. Actually I have young adult sons who love it when next door pop in with their little ones. They teach them how to play games in the garden.

What were they doing instead? Sitting on their phones, I bet.

"mumsnet is massively overpopulated with “Miserable Fuckers"

I'd take a good look in the mirror.

It doesn’t have to be either or, does it? You can speak to both the 6 year old AND the parents et different times during the visit.

How about the fact they were visiting the PARENTS. Id be pretty miffed if my relatives visited me and just spoke or played with 6 year old.

I think the issue with the niece and nephew is that they are too old to play with a young child and have an interest in them. If they were perhaps a bit younger maybe they would have been more willing to entertain her.

You mentioned other family members were there too, did they play with her or was it just the niece and nephew that didn't?

I agree that playing a board game is the way forward in the future as these are generally enjoyed by people of all ages. I think playing hide and seek is a game for children and becomes quite tedious as an adult to play unless it's your own child you are entertaining or you are a besotted grandparent.

WOWZER.

I actually think it's pretty poor parenting not to teach your child what activities are appropriate for certain situations.

Visits from friends and family who don't have small children - crafts, card games, board games, possibly Lego, colouring.

Games which 6 year olds play with other 6 year olds - running around, hide and seek, anything involving "you be the X and I am the Y".

It's not outrageous to expect interaction with your child. It is outrageous to allow that child to dictate what the interaction involves. No adult wants to play hide and seek, except over indulgent mothers.

That’s all OP said about her DD’s behaviour. How did people get “brat” from that? I honestly don’t understand?

Because she's six, not three, and should know better than to "bounce around everywhere" while there are guests visiting.

I have very little interest in children but would happily play a board game or do some colouring with a 6yo niece. What I wouldn't do is run around a strange house playing hide and seek, or tolerate being bounced over and interrupted constantly.

In the scenario OP describes, I would expect her DH to take their child out for a bit to the park to burn off some energy while OP spent time with her family, then they could do something quiet afterwards without needing to bounce about and demand attention.

OP, mumsnet is massively overpopulated with “Miserable Fuckers, who are selfish beyond forbearance”, but think they are “quiet” or “introverted.”

Of course they shouldn’t ignore your child, but fundamentally they hate most/all people and can’t help themselves.

Yes, they sound boring old farts. Yanbu.

I wouldn't expect my family to join in with tomfoolery, but would expect them to step up once it escalated to hi-jinks or monkey shines.

Would I/did I interact (as in, engaging in some conversation)? Sure. Run around and play? No. As a child, I wouldn’t have been allowed to pester clearly uninterested adults that had already declined to play either, family or not. Reading the room is a skill that children were/expected to learn. My experience was a culturally standard one.

I’m a south-eastern European that doesn’t live in the UK, incidentally.

Yanbu.
Both my myself and my children would always make an effort with younger cousins, just like older cousins did it for ours.
Isn't that normal family interactions during visits?

Not much point if they have zero interest in her.

I would say there were some aggressive unreasonable responses last night that were highly suggestive of some being drunk. Particularly those calling the six year old dc names over and over again. Who does that? It is not normal or reasonable on a parenting support website. Really bizarre assumptions were made. The fact that one or two are still saying "we" think this as though everybody else agrees with them just highlights that some came to just pile on with abuse. Disagree by all means. It's not ok to abuse the op or her dc in doing so.

Only on MN would they think it's weird and inappropriate to want your family to pay attention to your child when they visit. This is such a weird place sometimes.

When my dad visits he plays with my 3yo. I've never asked him to, he just does because he....likes her. Weird I know. Sometimes they even play hide and seek. It's like they're related or something, for some reason he enjoys playing with her.

Only on MN would they think it's weird and inappropriate to want your family to pay attention to your child when they visit. This is such a weird place sometimes.

When my dad visits he plays with my 3yo. I've never asked him to, he just does because he....likes her. Weird I know. Sometimes they even play hide and seek. It's like they're related or something, for some reason he enjoys playing with her.

I don't think the OP is as chill as that.

Also, different families have different expectations I guess. If I said to my parents “I’m just going to play with DC for 15 minutes as it’s a long afternoon for them - why don’t you relax for a bit, can I make you want a coffee before I join them?” they would have absolutely no problem with that. But we don’t really stand on ceremony with each other although we don’t get together that often.

There maybe needs to be a bit of give and take as well? For example, I have a football-loving DC who used to get very excited about having a kick-around with their grandpa who was a good player when he was young. My DF loves his DHC but does find young children a bit tiring. So I would always keep an eye on things so I knew when it was time for me to step in and relieve him.