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Original poster

Would you expect/would your family join in with the Tom foolery?

313 replies

Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:02

Had parents and sibling and niece & nephew (late teens) over this weekend
Our Dc is 6 and bouncing all over the place talking to everyone, sibling and DN and DN are quiet people, which I get. Dd asking them if they wanted to play or trying to make conversation, no one really making any effort with her, so it always ends up being Dh and me running around playing with her, doing hide and seek and playing games etc. I totally get that they all probably don’t want to and it’s not much fun, but wouldn’t you give attention..,or at least talk to your little cousin/niece?

Felt a bit sorry for her as she was literally getting nothing back and loves them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:50

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 15/11/2025 22:47

I agree. Sounds like the 6 yo was expected to be the centre of the show.

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No centre of any show, but only little one there that they don’t see very often, I would make an effort with a 6 year old and initiate chat and play

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sunkissedandwarm · 15/11/2025 22:50

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 15/11/2025 22:47

I agree. Sounds like the 6 yo was expected to be the centre of the show.

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Yes, it does.

I would expect a six year old (who doesn't have to go to their room) to quiet amuse themselves in the living area, talk to guests a bit, have them politely ask how she is, how is school, that sort of thing, then have some adult talk time. Depending on the relative, there may be room for a game or taking the child to the park or something as part of the visit, but the child certainly wouldn't be the centre of everything and I think it's a bit rude to host guests and then run around playing games with your child. I wouldn't visit again.

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:48

sunkissedandwarm · 15/11/2025 22:47

Playing hide and seek while you have guests is a bit odd.

They’re nor guests, we’re all family, she’s 6

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OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 15/11/2025 22:47

sunkissedandwarm · 15/11/2025 22:47

Playing hide and seek while you have guests is a bit odd.

I agree. Sounds like the 6 yo was expected to be the centre of the show.

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:47

youalright · 15/11/2025 22:45

But its what you wrote why was your husband and you running around and playing hide and seek when you have guests. 6 isn't that young she should be able to amuse herself or go play in her room if shes bored while the adults are talking.

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She doesn’t want to go and play in her room, hidden away, she wants to see her family she doesn’t get chance to see a great deal. She was happy and excited to see them and kids generally show this by wanting to engage and play/talk

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sunkissedandwarm · 15/11/2025 22:47

Playing hide and seek while you have guests is a bit odd.

youalright · 15/11/2025 22:45

Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:42

Ffs 😂 Quite a huge exaggeration on all parts of what I said.

My child is no brat, do you have kids?

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But its what you wrote why was your husband and you running around and playing hide and seek when you have guests. 6 isn't that young she should be able to amuse herself or go play in her room if shes bored while the adults are talking.

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:42

dontmalbeconme · 15/11/2025 22:39

I think your DC sounds like a brat tbh. By 6 they should have enough social awareness to pick up when people don't want to play and should be able to amuse themselves quietly, not interrupt etc.

No-one should need to spend the whole day running around playing with a 6 year old, and I'd be raising an inner eyebrow at people that invited us round, then spend the whole time running around after and pandering to their child. Guests visiting is not the time for hide and seek etc. Child should have the social skills to understand that, and most certainly the parents should.

I find it odd that you think your child not picking up on the social cues of people not wanting to play or revolve their day centering on her is her having social skills, its quite the opposite actually. She's missing the social cues.

Ffs 😂 Quite a huge exaggeration on all parts of what I said.

My child is no brat, do you have kids?

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dontmalbeconme · 15/11/2025 22:39

I think your DC sounds like a brat tbh. By 6 they should have enough social awareness to pick up when people don't want to play and should be able to amuse themselves quietly, not interrupt etc.

No-one should need to spend the whole day running around playing with a 6 year old, and I'd be raising an inner eyebrow at people that invited us round, then spend the whole time running around after and pandering to their child. Guests visiting is not the time for hide and seek etc. Child should have the social skills to understand that, and most certainly the parents should.

I find it odd that you think your child not picking up on the social cues of people not wanting to play or revolve their day centering on her is her having social skills, its quite the opposite actually. She's missing the social cues.

dontmalbeconme · 15/11/2025 22:39

I think your DC sounds like a brat tbh. By 6 they should have enough social awareness to pick up when people don't want to play and should be able to amuse themselves quietly, not interrupt etc.

No-one should need to spend the whole day running around playing with a 6 year old, and I'd be raising an inner eyebrow at people that invited us round, then spend the whole time running around after and pandering to their child. Guests visiting is not the time for hide and seek etc. Child should have the social skills to understand that, and most certainly the parents should.

I find it odd that you think your child not picking up on the social cues of people not wanting to play or revolve their day centering on her is her having social skills, its quite the opposite actually. She's missing the social cues.

HeddaGarbled · 15/11/2025 22:38

You can’t expect shy people to be running around your house and being boisterous, but they might gradually venture into engaging with quieter activities. Hide and seek when you have guests strikes me as a mismatch. Try books or colouring in or play figures or jigsaw or whatever.

PollyBell · 15/11/2025 22:38

Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:30

I engaged with my niece and nephew when younger

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But you are not everyone, I dont know why you thinks she loves them if they dont interact with her

I would expect politeness from any adult or child but no more than that

Noshadelamp · 15/11/2025 22:38

I don't think I'd be running around your house playing hide and seek but I'd definitely talk to the DC.
I always played with my young nieces, they usually brought toys to me rather than me having to run around, and my dcs as teens would play with their younger cousins as well.

However my sil never bothered and still doesn't bother with my dcs, which I've always found rude and selfish.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 15/11/2025 22:37

I’d relish the joy of being a thoroughly trusting child who wants to engage with the olders amongst her. Wow. I have children and as they have grown older I’ve realised that when they want to play/chat it’s because they trust the adults and want to include them. Awww. The adults not realising the joy of playing with children. They will never get that moment back ☹️

sunkissedandwarm · 15/11/2025 22:36

It's nice for them to engage with her a bit, but I don't think they necessarily have to play games with her and centre her. She needs to also be able to amuse herself too. Niece and Nephew probably want some adult conversation as well. While they no doubt care, other people's children may not be that interesting to them.

Brightbluesomething · 15/11/2025 22:35

It is a shame that they’re not engaging with her. My DS gets involved with all the younger kids in the family (probably because I do too) and he’s brilliant with them. Not everyone is like him. Some people find little kids tedious. Tolerate them until they leave.

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:33

NearlyDec · 15/11/2025 22:31

How old are niece and nephew?

20 & 18

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youalright · 15/11/2025 22:32

Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:31

5/6 hours

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Then yeah in that time I would of played with little one but only for a bit of the visit and more likely to play with toys or a board game rather then play hide and seek as a guest.

NearlyDec · 15/11/2025 22:31

How old are niece and nephew?

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:31

youalright · 15/11/2025 22:30

Do you mean they stayed the weekend or they nipped in for an hour for a cuppa and a catch up.

5/6 hours

OP posts:
youalright · 15/11/2025 22:30

Do you mean they stayed the weekend or they nipped in for an hour for a cuppa and a catch up.

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:30

RubySquid · 15/11/2025 22:29

Why would they. Am confused you would even expect this. My DS had to be reminded the other day that his sister had 2 children not one. Hed forgotten the 9 month old existed

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I engaged with my niece and nephew when younger

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RubySquid · 15/11/2025 22:29

Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:20

Wouldn’t it be nice if they showed interest/asked questions though, as an auntie in particular or does it not matter?

Why would they. Am confused you would even expect this. My DS had to be reminded the other day that his sister had 2 children not one. Hed forgotten the 9 month old existed

Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:29

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 15/11/2025 22:27

I must admit I have zero interest in little kids but to be polite I do engage with them & will join in with there activities to a point, thats just good manners.

Exactly

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Original poster
Pissingitdownquelsurprise · 15/11/2025 22:28

AnImmenseDislikeOfPeople · 15/11/2025 22:26

I think it's a shame, and a bit rubbish, if no one is trying to engage with your DD.

However, perhaps controversially, I wonder if it is an issue with the type of games and attention required by your DD. I'm not sure running around and hide & seek are the best games for when people are visiting (unless there are other similar-aged children). Maybe if DD would play in the same room in a bit more of a calm way, the family would find it easier to engage with her.

She does this too, but she’s an average, active 6 year old. I get what you’re saying though, even an initiation to play cards or ask her some things would be good

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