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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you to find a career for my DH

37 replies

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 21:47

He is 45.
He doesn't want to do his current job anymore, for reasons I support.
He wants instead to turn to a vocational type job. A job he finds rewarding on a personal level and stimulating.
Previously a high earner, he's willing to drop in salary for a job that brings a greater sense of good.
No GCSE qualifications. No A levels. No degree.
He has several NVQ qualifications but they are in the area he no longer wants to work in.
He is an intelligent person. His absence of academic qualifications are not a reflection of his intelligence or his ability to learn.
He is hard working, with a great personality, depth of character, a strong moral compass but he is lost in terms of how to spend the rest of his working life.
He is fully willing to re-train.
What can he do?

OP posts:
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SpigTheFish · 16/11/2025 13:19

Impossible to say without knowing more about him/his background.

Plumber? He could become a handyman or driver.

Financial services consultant? He could become a fund raiser for a charity.

edit for typo.

madaboutpurple · 16/11/2025 00:51

In many places there are shortages of bus drivers and recently saw an advert for train drivers to be trained. I saw someone had thought of driving instructor,well lots of people will be needing a driving instructor.

Bigbus · 16/11/2025 00:39

Has he thought of a probation officer or prison officer. An amazing opportunity to make a real difference x

IntrinsicWorth · 16/11/2025 00:27

I am guessing he does something trade-related like gas fitter, builder, mechanic. If he does t want to carry on in that field as a sole trader he could get a salaried job doing whatever he does, for a charity. For example our local mental health charity is always looking for estates people.

The problem is going to be the salary. £30k with progression is not that well aligned to socially rewarding roles. Unfortunately. He might be better off knocking down his hours in his current role and spending some time Volunteering in something more worthwhile. Plus also volunteering can sometimes open unexpected doors to interesting paid work.

finally … is he really sure he doesn’t want to continue in his well-paid, autonomous job?? The job market is not good at the moment and there are many people chasing desk jobs.

ReignOfError · 16/11/2025 00:19

The civil service (and its many and varied quangos) recruit on competencies, and there are a surprising range of people-facing roles. Lousy - average pay really, great pension and perks, loads of interesting opportunities to progress.

bluesunnyskies · 15/11/2025 23:57

-Health and safety officer
-Start a lawn mowing/general maintenance business or work for a franchise
-Fast food shop manager
-Rigger
-Public servant
-Call centre operator with plans to move into management over the next few years
-Pathology collector

coxesorangepippin · 15/11/2025 23:44

Ok op, we get that you don't want to say what he does now, but to give any kind of suggestions it'd be a lot easier if you just say what he does.

Talk about a bloody drop feed

RedRec · 15/11/2025 23:32

What about funeral service staff (driving / pallbearing, etc.) or funeral celebrant? Training courses available (optional but recommended) for celebrancy.

Edited for typo.

CatsAreCool222 · 15/11/2025 23:26

Postman

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2025 23:22

SP2024 · 15/11/2025 22:37

What about something local government like? Housing has plenty of jobs you don’t need qualifications for at entry level.

I hire entry level positions in housing.

My last hires were young, pretty qualified, very enthusiastic, with huge room for growth in the field.

I’m not sure I would have selected an older man with no experience or specific passion in the field who just wanted to do something good. Not to say that isn’t noble, it is. But NGOs and government social programming is plagued by well-meaning amateurs thinking being clever and wanting to know things substitutes for experience and knowledge. There is often a feeling that social services types of jobs look easy. If you’re just nice and kind. They aren’t.

RainbowBagels · 15/11/2025 23:13

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:07

This strikes a massive chord in him.
But isn't it unbelievably difficult to get in to? I read on a thread on her it's 5,000 applicants for every 100 application spaces! I've heard the hoops to jump through are really difficult - is that true?

How about general emergency call handling? Or what about Working in care? There are Personal Assistant roles for adults with learning needs helping them to live independently as well as the obvious working in elder care. Has he also looked into functional skills English and Maths?

Whatifitallgoesright · 15/11/2025 23:04

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:23

Wants to do a job that requires someone who is a people person.
He is a people person.
Currently has a solitary job that earns money but doesn't use his natural people skills.

Sales? How flexible is his moral compass?
Is he self-employed? How is his health?

SP2024 · 15/11/2025 22:37

What about something local government like? Housing has plenty of jobs you don’t need qualifications for at entry level.

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:32

JollyLilacBee · 15/11/2025 22:19

Could you give us an idea of what he does now? So that we can consider transferable skills? And also, the minimum salary he could accept?

Minimum starting salary £30,000 with potential to increase from that.
Don't want to say specifically what he does now but it's a technical and practical role, skilled, lone working, self employed.
The job he does requires good time management, good self organisation skills, good interpersonal skills, the ability to do a job to a high standard to ensure good recommendations to future customers, good practical skills, good problem solving skills, good business skills.
Doesn't enjoy working alone and no longer enjoys doing a job that doesn't benefit others or society.
He is a really hard worker and tries his best at everything.

OP posts:
PInkyStarfish · 15/11/2025 22:26

Personal trainer? Getting fat people fit and healthy is contributing to society and helps him stay fit.

albalass · 15/11/2025 22:25

Driving instructor? My friend retrained as this last year and finds it very rewarding.

As a pp suggested, some health careers such as nursing have access routes for people without the usual qualifications.

Volunteering is a good way to make contacts and try out different types of work.

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:23

Whatifitallgoesright · 15/11/2025 22:12

Is he a people person or a thing person?

Wants to do a job that requires someone who is a people person.
He is a people person.
Currently has a solitary job that earns money but doesn't use his natural people skills.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 15/11/2025 22:22

He needs to narrow it down.
Look around what looks good? Then what route to get there eg access course
What does he do now and why does he not like it?

JollyLilacBee · 15/11/2025 22:19

Could you give us an idea of what he does now? So that we can consider transferable skills? And also, the minimum salary he could accept?

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:19

Mandarinaduck · 15/11/2025 21:56

Well, what kind of job does he want and why does he want to leave the one he's in?
Does he want to work with people? Which kind?
Does he want to do practical work?
Indoor or outdoor?
Creative?
Technical?
There are a million things he could do, it's really hard to say without knowing his interests, values and natural abilities.

Well, what kind of job does he want
A job that has meaning and purpose. A job that leaves him feeling he has done some good. A job that benefits others. A job that feels rewarding on a personal level.
why does he want to leave the one he's in?
Because he no longer wants to do a job that earns his income but other than that has no value to it.
Does he want to work with people?
Yes
Which kind?
Any kind!
Does he want to do practical work?
Doesn't really matter. More important is that it's altruistic. He is certainly very capable of doing practical work as he is physically very fit. But he wouldn't say no if it wasn't practical either. The mental stimulation and the feeling of doing something good, important, that contributes to society is most important to him.
Indoor or outdoor?
Doesn't matter.
Creative?
Technical?
Open to anything.

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 15/11/2025 22:17

MerryGoRound9 · 15/11/2025 22:07

This strikes a massive chord in him.
But isn't it unbelievably difficult to get in to? I read on a thread on her it's 5,000 applicants for every 100 application spaces! I've heard the hoops to jump through are really difficult - is that true?

It is competitive but I didn't have to jump through any hoops, just had to really smash the interview. Just one interview, no hoops!

It's a STAR style interview which are easy to nail if you know what you're doing and know what they're looking for (and actually have the stuff to a certain extent!), and most fire services recruit 2-3 times a year because the turnover is high - this is either the perfect job for you or it's not for you at all and a lot of the time you don't find out which camp you fall into until you get into the control room.

It really is the best job I've ever had and I've been all over the place in all sorts of roles in all sorts of sectors. There just aren't words for how rewarding it is, and the work life balance really is amazing.

Cadenza12 · 15/11/2025 22:17

He could start off by writing down a list of his skills, especially the transferable ones. What is he good at? A list of things he would like to do, what's important to him? What doesn't he want to do? How flexible is he with regard to location? Salary etc. Then he could get a clearer idea of the type of work that might be a good fit and target his research in that area.

TroubledBloodyMary · 15/11/2025 22:17

Perhaps you might direct your husband to MN’s dedicated Mature Study and Retraining board, @MerryGoRound9? There are sure to be helpful pointers, ideas, and guidance amongst the countless threads there:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

Mature students: Distance learning, retraining and mentorship | Mumsnet

Welcome to Mumsnet’s mature student forum. Discuss everything from starting adult courses to retraining and distance learning or even seek out a personal mentor.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students

Twoshoesnewshoes · 15/11/2025 22:14

I work on an inpatient psychiatric ward.
he can start as an hca with some specific training, then he may get accepted on to a nurse apprenticeship through the trust.
or - I always need someone to put up shelves, build log store etc, and these skills can be done at a local college.

Whatifitallgoesright · 15/11/2025 22:12

Is he a people person or a thing person?