Rejection sensitive dysphoria - AIBU

Well you can't control anyone else's emails. However, you can be supportive of the person you line manage needing support with emails that they might interpret as difficult. Supportive does not mean you have to agree with their interpretation - it means you realise this is an issue for them and you support them to navigate that within professional boundaries.

Also, depends what your work culture is like. Are these bold underlined dates or important parts of an email, or are they emails where people are bolding and underlining their frustrations or unreasonable expectations?

Edited because my phone decided to overly autocorrect!

Do you know for absolute certain she’s self diagnosed?

I’ll happily admit I’ve been on the other side. OH said I mustn’t be put to work in positions that caused me undue stress (3 heart attacks in 2 years). Bosses said I was absolutely fine to do the very most stressful tasks for me because they themselves didn’t see why they could be stressful.

You need to follow OH recommendations whether you agree with them or not.

I agree with you. People, neurodiverse or not, need to know and work within their own limitations, not expect everyone else to modify their behaviour in disproportionate ways (and I do consider changing the core purpose of a job role, like answering the phone, disproportionate). I struggle with timekeeping, fatigue and attention to detail so I’d simply never apply to jobs that require such rigidity (yes, I know timekeeping is required in all jobs but being freelance and fully remote maintains my energy levels and enables me to control my own schedule so I’m less likely to be late or get times wrong. Train signalling or air traffic control will never be for me).

Have you heard of clean feedback? It's a really good model for people with neurodiversity.

Clearly self diagnosed…

It seems a bit silly, but I'd simply not use bold or underlined text in my own email to this person. You can't guarantee no-one else will, though.

I'd be sorry tempted to use lots of italics, as they are neither bold nor underlined, but best not to poke the bear...

I wouldn’t have thought OH could make adjustments based on self-diagnosed conditions with no medical proof. Certainly when I was going to OH about a plethora of conditions I had to provide proof of diagnosis before any adjustments could be suggested. I have a history of mental health issues and I’m neurodiverse but I’m afraid I have no time for “rejection sensitive dysphoria”. The pathologising of human emotions has gone too far. That’s one area “sufferers” need to get over themselves and learn to deal with themselves imo, you can’t go through life feeling entitled never to encounter anything upsetting.

You are really lacking any empathy for someone clearly neurodivergent.

Occupational health shouldn’t be making recommendations on things that aren’t diagnosed health conditions.

Unless this person has a diagnosis of a long-term health condition or disability then once they’re back at work they’re the same as anyone else- they don’t need reasonable adjustments.

I have a very severe disability and work in the NHS, and have had to jump through hoops to get an OH appointment following multiple long periods off. They’ve needed proof of my diagnosis.

This colleague of yours may have been off but if they don’t have a diagnosed condition they’ve got fuck-all and can’t start demanding no one hurts their wickle feewings 🙄

I do frequently. To colleagues and customers. Some colleagues might need instructions or guidance on something and writing in bold they can read it easier if they're flipped between screens. There's so many reasons to underline or bold. How on earth is it rude? It can highlight the importance of something.

How hard is it to not use bold text or underlining in emails? I never do because I think it looks rude.

ugh this made me eye roll internally. They've given you a completely impossible task! I'd ask HR for advice.
i wouldn't think a self diagnosis has any legal merit would it?
I have absolutely zero legal qualifications but the whole thing sounds odd and she sounds unhinged and entitled.

I had a colleague similar. Couldn't answer the phone to customers because it triggered her. Couldn't eat at lunch time and had to eat at her desk where there's 100 people around her as she 'didn't like the pressure of being told when to eat.'
some people just feel incredibly sorry for themselves and the world owes them a favour.

id internally eye roll, seek guidance from HR and make it abundantly clear you cannot meet her needs as they're unachievable.

Its a recommendation. Tbh my work emails dont tend to include bold text or underlining