Rejection sensitive dysphoria - AIBU

No they have identified that they may have RSD. Anyone can self diagnose with anything. Many will be correct. But many will not. It is not always a given. The employee thinks they have it. Occy health cannot concur or refute whether they have it as it is not within their remit to diagnose people.

The thing is, there can be genuine people like you who have struggled all their life and require reasonable adjustments. And there can be people who self diagnose all manner of conditions and demand adjustments that simply are not reasonable such as never receiving an email with a bold or italic font. I’m not saying that this colleague won’t ever be officially diagnosed with RSD, but even is she is, those adjustments are not reasonable in my opinion. They need to develop coping strategies for receiving bold font.

The employee has identified that they have RSD.

Occupational health has concurred and recognises there is an issue.

Urgh also long term disability also NHS and I had to fight like a hellcat to get my reasonable adjustments. There was nothing crazy or OTT in there just really easy adjustments.

this self diagnosed bullshit with absolutely crazy unenforceable adjustments is partly the reason managers shy away from employing people with disabilities and accommodating genuinely needed adjustments

I knew I was AuDHD before I was officially diagnosed; so I suppose I was 'self-diagnosed' for a while.

It didn't make it any less true.

The problem is that it's very difficult to reach the stage of diagnosis as an adult (and child). NHS waiting lists are long and private routes are expensive.

The employee doesn’t have a RSD diagnosis. They think they may have it but have not been diagnosed with it by a medical professional

Just because your experience of being Autistic/having RSD presents in that way, doesn't mean someone else's does.

If someone isn't comfortable eating at their desk, why does it matter to anyone else?

That's the comment I was responding to.

I can see why the member of staff has an issue with their manager coming across as being rude to them.

There is rarely a need to use bold text or underlining in emails.

For reasonable adjustments to be put into place, no formal diagnosis is required , or so Im led to believe by a thread here just a couple of months back

Apparently the disability only has to exist in the sufferers mind

You can self diagnose and still be covered by the Equality Act.

"I cannot ensure they are never given feedback they might not like"

That's not what is required of you. You are simply being asked not to bold nor underline to emphasise your instructions.

That you are so dismissive of the RSD diagnosis is concerning.

Irrespective of the fact that, you obviously think the request is ridiculous, it really is a simple and easy one for you to comply with and could make a massive difference for a colleague who is clearly struggling.

Many emails are sent to a group of people, not just one person. Some people may prefer bold/underlined text to help differentiate priority or subheadings. Such as other ND people or people with vision impairments.

If that’s the case, do you really think it’s reasonable for OP (or anyone in the company) to then send out a different version to this one person who actually has no official diagnosis? because they dont like bold text?

Oh, come off it!

I'm autistic and actually "rejection sensitive dysphoria" traits are the most strikingly accurate description of what I suffered with in my late teens/early 20s (interfered with ability to hold down a job) and even I can see this is bollocks.

What would have helped me with what appears to be this very issue, is being given understanding and time to cope with my overwhelm after being criticised/making a mistake (as opposed to being fired for crying at work, or running away so no one saw me cry, which is what actually happened). Not expecting to avoid criticism or learning, or expecting everyone to tiptoe round me!

What's interesting (and enhances the strong whiff of bullshit) is that rejection sensitive dysphoria includes being desperately people-pleasing, for obvious reasons. Not demanding everyone bends to your will and acting in a way that will piss them all off!

If your organisation has an IT dept they could probably set up a rule to convert the employee's emails to unformatted text easily enough on many systems.

It feels very much like treating the surface symptoms, though. What sort of rejection does he expect via email - i.e. is it reasonable that he is worried about getting critical, hostile, impatient messages? Because formatting is such a small part of that - it feels like a distraction.

Don’t write clutter, to be blunt.

Bold and underlined passages look rude and unprofessional to me, this is a tiny adjustment that should be easy. You haven’t been told to screen their emails so why are you blowing this up into something bigger? Just do what you’ve been asked.

I have quite a number of ND employees (some diagnosed after they started their role), all of the adjustments are minor. Better to just show empathy and do it than moan about how it puts you out. Their lives are hard enough.

You absolutely cannot control or filter all emails sent to this colleague. It’s not a reasonable adjustment for you to ensure no one ever uses a bold font because this person doesn’t like a bold font.

This person is self diagnosed so possibly does not actually have the condition they have decided they have. But even if they do, they have to understand that there is no way you can control the font used by external agencies emailing her and if she can’t work based on a bold font or an underlined sentence then she will need to find a job where emails are not used as a means of communication or learn coping strategies to deal with bold/underlined font.

I honestly think this is a ridiculous stipulation from occy health

I suspect that a conversation with the person in question might elucidate things. They may not mean that kind of thing.

Anyway, these recommendations are only to be followed if you as manager can implement them without unreasonable difficulty, so I would have that conversation and of course indicate that this can't be done so easily.

And if you can’t monitor or screen the emails then the adjustment arguably isn’t reasonable so just tell him that

absolute fucking chancer

Absolute shite. I don’t believe it’s accepted as a disability and your employee is taking the absolute fucking piss.

I’m sure it CAN be rude, depending on context. But it can also be super helpful , highlighting the important bits of an email that need action and/or attention.
If someone can’t cope with bold or underlined print, they shouldn’t be working in an office.

I'd be interested in having a direct chat with this person about email as a source of stress. Office email use can be appalling - random cc-ing, "shouting" in block capitals etc, endless back and forth, expectations around response time, screeds of vague thoughts or opinions etc. I wouldn't expect to see bolding or underlining for emphasis much in a healthy and efficient work culture.

What's clean feedback, @GoodThings2025 ? Sounds interesting.

What happens when another ND employee feels they communicate better with bold/underlined text?

It's not quite the same. No one starts a job thinking they will be faced with rude, passive aggressive emails that contain things in bold and underlined. I'm not sure I'd agree the adjustment is reasonable, as you say you can't screen all emails. I do think people who send emails like that are rude and I can see how it could make someone already struggling feel very anxious. Maybe the whole organisation needs to work towards being more polite and respectful. It sounds like you're part of a toxic work culture.