Rejection sensitive dysphoria - AIBU

This is absolutely not true. I don’t get the leap from I didn’t get a service so others shouldn’t…this was ‘race to the bottom’ encapsulated in a post …you don’t know this person and to be off 6 months she won’t be self diagnosed

To add, I can ensure you nobody at all is being passive aggressive to our board.

We put key phrases in board reports in bold at my global company.

In my work, occupational health employees refer to themselves as occy health. It’s fine for people to say occy health if that’s what they’re used to saying.

we use bold font for subheadings for a vision impaired colleague to find the key points more easily

I’d reply to Occy health and cc HR, saying thank you for this. I didn’t realise we apply adjustments to this extent for self diagnosis so ccing hr to confirm. In any case, these aren’t adjustments I can implement - I have no authority to screen emails from everyone else in our company to ensure they don’t have bold text nor to monitor every interaction to ensure it doesn’t include any unwelcome feedback. You will probably need to take this up with the head of people or perhaps the ceo, I’m sorry I don’t know who would be responsible for this kind of firm wide messaging?

Separately regarding what is in my remit, I have concerns as to how this impacts my performance reviews for my team, at a surface reading your email says I can now only give positive feedback, how will this work in practice? @hr hoping you can give me some guidance here on how to do my job well and fairly for my whole team.

kidn regards, pissed off manager.

We put bold text into our board papers for clear reading so….

Yes I know. I was pointing out that they can’t concur that someone has something they’ve diagnosed themselves with. They are not able to diagnose people.

Do you send bold and underlined missives? If you do pack it in, it’s irritating and passive aggressive. Also never ever say occy health, it’s giving heavy David Brent vibes.

We simply can't go on indulging everyone with "reasonable adjustments" for self diagnosed conditions, it's making the work place unnecessarily stressful for everyone and people are running out of patience which will adversely affect those with genuine conditions who requests for adjustments are entirely reasonable. It's just not possible to meet everyone's demands because the accomodation for one person might upset another and it's really unreasonable to expect all staff to remember everyone's requirements without ever making a mistake.

I'm also ND myself so come off it thinking the world owes everyone a favour. HTH.

I would advise that you talk to them about how this will work. You will ask senior colleagues to follow the recommendations when emailing this particular person but stress you have no power over external emails.

Maybe if they then get an email they find difficult, they can forward it straight to you and the two of you can work together to address the actual content of the email rather than the bold and underlined sections that trigger them.

As they have acknowledged they have RSD, you should be able to have open discussions with regard to feedback they are reacting badly to and whether this is because of the actual feedback or their condition.

Exactly this.

I agree with you. I think all the OP can do to cover themselves is say that they've tried but ultimately the accommodations are not practical or sustainable. Its like saying that you someone can't receive emails with the colour red because it triggers their PTSD. This employee needs to go off sick and get help for their mental health.

RSD isn't a diagnosis. It's more like a presentation.

My psychiatrist outlined a lot of areas where RSD was relevant in my autism diagnosis, but said it isn't a diagnosis in and of itself. Much like not being able to cope with the feeling of brushed velvet isn't a diagnosis, it is just an inhibiting part of a wider disability.

Occupational Therapy has been absolutely invaluable to me though with identifying RSD and being able to realise that what I perceive as criticisms aren't always negative, and it is OK not to be a perfect person.

I think a better recommendation from OH would be for the member of staff to either enquire about it's availability on the NHS or whether their employer can partially or fully fund some occupational therapy to address this as some employers will. It may also be something funding can be applied for through access to work, though I don't know for certain as I didn't have to go this route.

Just fyi,

the remit of occupational health is to protect and promote the physical and mental wellbeing of employees by preventing ill-health related to work.

This includes providing impartial advice to both employees and employers, developing health and safety policies

@Lipido reaction sensitive dysphoria is not a recognised condition its made up bs.
She is having an absolute laugh and the occupational health is barking mad to make recommendations based on a self diagnosed unrecognised disorder.
Get hr on this one as she's playing the system and is aiming for a constructive dismissal/disability discrimination claim

She’s been off work sick for 6 months with RSD?? Who’s signing her off if she’s self diagnosed?

I have rsd. I assume that because it is a dysphoria it's about me. I don't expect the situation (email bolding) to change because I'm interpreting it wrongly.

Coaching is a far better intervention because if can help you think 'ah ok, she doesn't hate me to my core and think I'm the most incompetent person ever. She just had a deadline and would have done this with anyone'.

I remember the not so distant past when people just came to work, got on with the job, went home.
Then little by little, bandwagon started being jumped upon, when some people realised that they could make allsorts of demands and the management would bow to them
Anyone complaining about the extra burden they had to shoulder would be given short shrift
I'll get my coat......

It sounds really condescending to bold and underline text in emails - just type it and leave the person to read and understand

the tone of your post screams passive aggressive reaction to this person

The problem is, some employees may prefer the bold/underlined font due to finding it easier to spot the subheadings. People with a vision impairment for example may find it easier to enable them to locate the important aspects of the email. Who do you cater for when you need to send out multiple group emails?

I agree that if you’re finding receiving emails with a bold font distressing and overwhelming, it’s probably not a good idea to be in a job where you receive numerous emails.

I have a project manager who refuses to share a weekly updated project plan because “we all have our individual ways of working” and “the colour scheme isn’t really [his] identity”!

Oh behave stop being a wet flannel :)

You could send an email to all employees with some general guidelines about internal communication 'house style' and request that bold and underlined is not used in emails. You can't control how people external to the organisation structure their messages. I would argue that if this person is finding basic elements of the job to be distressing and overwhelming then maybe they should look for something else but I appreciate that you can't say this in real life.

Yes, I skim through an email if it's long searching for the bold. That's the thing I really need to know. Equally I use bold and underlining to flag titles etc. E.g. I work across several different countries and our Teams chat can flip between them. So I'll write something like "Spain data: Sarah has confirmed that this looks good so we can send the doc to the client". I find it helps pick out what we are talking about. It's v easy to think I'm talking about Spain when I really mean Greece etc.

I ask our admin staff to make appointments for patients and I highlight in bold, the date and time just to make it easier for the admin staff to read. Never thought it could be seen as aggressive.

After a long career in the nhs with no time off sick, I am finally losing my patience a little bit I confess. This kind of thing drives me up the wall now. There are some like me who work and go above and beyond. And another small group of people who are looking for ways to work less and make everything about themselves, not the patients we see. I’m very tired and I think I have finally had enough.