Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is everyone away with the fairies?

168 replies

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 18:52

Is it just me or have listening skills and attention spans declined rapidly in the last 10 years or so?

Nobody bloody listens or retains information any more.

Yesterday, I was at work. Patient transport turns up with a patient to transfer to us. I said, "Oh hi, have you got Mr Smith?" (All names have been changed) and the man says "yeah".
OK, great. I ring for the staff in the department that need to collect Mr Smith while patient transport guy goes to collect Mr Smith from the ambulance. I start typing up the paperwork to admit Mr Smith.
Our staff come down, with the necessary equipment to transport Mr Smith, and just then, who should come through the doors but a perfectly mobile Mrs Jones??!!
I said "that's not Mr Smith!!" and he said "nah" I asked him why he said it was and he just shrugged.
So I have to send the staff back again, with their equipment, get hold of the staff that need to collect Mrs Jones, and wait for them to come down.
All the while patient transport is stood there tapping his foot and looking at his watch like he has no idea it was him that caused the delay.

This is just one irritating incident. I find noone takes in information, noone listens, I have to send people times, dates etc 100 squilion times before it goes in. The parents WhatsApp group is full of questions the school has emailed to everyone already and all day long at work people reply to my emails asking stuff that is in the email they are replying to.
My husband has asked me three times today what shifts I am working next week.
The delivery people will completely ignore notes telling them where to leave parcels.
People in shops just stare blankly at you when you ask them very simple questions, or ask you to repeat yourself because they weren't listening.

I bet even on this thread, mumsnetters will comment having not read it properly.

Is everyone just away with the fucking fairies?!

OP posts:
BrickBiscuit · 15/11/2025 23:01

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 21:52

Im thick and everyone else is smart.
So i will stay in my indoors bubble and avoid the world.

I'm thick too, but I'm not staying in.

Jigglyhuffpuff · 15/11/2025 23:00

NeverDropYourMooncup · 15/11/2025 22:05

And the reason why they use a million different ways is because if they stick to one, people don't pay attention to it.

As per the emails sent from a phone perfectly capable of running the messaging app complaining that they don't have a messaging app login, which are sent with the messaging app activation email in the email chain. Or the emails from a different email address wanting to know why they aren't receiving emails anymore. Or the complaints that they weren't phoned when they went into the app and deleted the phone number or changed it to their spouse's, rather than adding their spouse's details as a second contact. Or the complaints about it not being included in the newsletter, written on the back of the newsletter where it's the first item on the page...

Ah but the kicker at our school is that they won't replicate the same message across the different platforms. They will send one message and randomly choose which platform to use. So one week the PE info is on Google classroom, the next it'll be on the app, next time it'll be in the newsletter on page 6 hidden between news about the lollipop man. So if you don't check them all repeatedly you'll miss info.

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:56

BlushingBrightly · 15/11/2025 22:50

Reading ability in most people is now really poor. That means they'll do almost anything rather than read a piece of text carefully because doing that is HARD.

And it's scary because people are responding to sound bites and basing their opinions on headlines.

And they don't see an issue with it. My MIL for example can't stand Meghan Markle. On trying to discuss the issue she has with her a little deeper she openly and readily admitted "oh, I only read what the headlines say" and genuinely thought that was sufficient to form a deep hatred for someone.

This is an educated woman. In a high powered job.

I despair.

OP posts:
BlushingBrightly · 15/11/2025 22:50

Reading ability in most people is now really poor. That means they'll do almost anything rather than read a piece of text carefully because doing that is HARD.

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:47

Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:39

I perhaps hadn't realised how lucky I am that (although they probably wouldn't know how to search a WA thread) my in-laws are very organised and put everything in their diary. (I get to hear every piece of info from them multiple times, but at least they've retained it)

It's not the parents on either side that are the issue for me. It's the siblings and siblings in laws. My mum and my PILs are pretty good with diaries and things.

Siblings in law just ignore me and DH completely until the last few days before the event when I get DH to get on the case and get a fucking answer out of them because I am sick of sending polite reminders.
My siblings will enthusiastically say they are coming then act all surprised when I ask for final numbers and start with the what time and where shite followed by the lane excuses.

OP posts:
Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:39

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:30

No, I'm talking about WhatsApp groups. Mainly with family.

I perhaps hadn't realised how lucky I am that (although they probably wouldn't know how to search a WA thread) my in-laws are very organised and put everything in their diary. (I get to hear every piece of info from them multiple times, but at least they've retained it)

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:36

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:33

I was agreeing with you.

This is what i mean i try to interact and i fail sorry.

Hey, don't worry about it. Other people are quite clearly overrated.

I hope you're OK, don't beat yourself up. We all have different strengths. It just irritates me when people are in the wrong job I guess x

OP posts:
xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:34

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:29

Your cant make people see thing your way only.
You do you.

I'm not sure if you're agreeing or disagreeing.

Either way, have a good night

OP posts:
TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:33

Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:32

Have you been drinking?

I was agreeing with you.

This is what i mean i try to interact and i fail sorry.

RubySquid · 15/11/2025 22:33

medievalpenny · 15/11/2025 19:12

Most delivery people don't have time to read the notes, if they can even see them on the system.

Lots of the other stuff can be explained by information overload. I get so many emails every day just on my personal email that I only read some of them and often that's only skim reading.

Surely any one could tell the difference between mr smith and Mrs jones though? They are people not parcels

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:32

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:30

No, I'm talking about WhatsApp groups. Mainly with family.

But actually, if people at work did this shit enough times, I'm not above doing it to them either. They, after all, are the ones being unprofessional by not bothering to do their job properly and repeatedly asking me to do it for them. I would happily give them the information required whilst pointing out that I've already given it.

OP posts:
Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:32

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:29

Your cant make people see thing your way only.
You do you.

Have you been drinking?

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:31

Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:28

If this is your preferred communication style at work then I think I can see where at least some of the issue is...

Yeah miss bossy boots.

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:30

Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:28

If this is your preferred communication style at work then I think I can see where at least some of the issue is...

No, I'm talking about WhatsApp groups. Mainly with family.

OP posts:
TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:29

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:25

We're going off topic but here's the problem with the "I'm entitled to my opinion" thing.

Free speech does not mean freedom from consequences.

You are entitled (in most cases) to voice and share your opinion. That's it. That is where your entitlement ends.

You are not entitled to decide what reactions you get. You are not entitled to not being challenged. You are not entitled to be agreed with

People are just as entitled to challenge you, or disagree or say your opinion is racist as you are to say your opinion.

But you seem to be able to manage this well, because if you're not good at handling reactions to your opinions then the best thing to do is probably to stay introverted as you have been doing

Your cant make people see thing your way only.
You do you.

Legomania · 15/11/2025 22:28

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 21:41

Yes, the classic inability to scroll.

Drives me mad.

I am so petty, I won't repeat myself when people ask me a question they could just scroll to get the answer to. I scroll for them, screenshot me already telling them, then send the screenshot of me already telling them the answer.

If this is your preferred communication style at work then I think I can see where at least some of the issue is...

SunnyCoco · 15/11/2025 22:26

This book explains all.

Why is everyone away with the fairies?
xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:25

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:17

Thing is some of us get called racist or bigots for using the wrong pronuns or having an opinion.
Someone like me i just need a little longer to understand thing.

All in all i`ll stay a introvert some would call a hikikomori.

We're going off topic but here's the problem with the "I'm entitled to my opinion" thing.

Free speech does not mean freedom from consequences.

You are entitled (in most cases) to voice and share your opinion. That's it. That is where your entitlement ends.

You are not entitled to decide what reactions you get. You are not entitled to not being challenged. You are not entitled to be agreed with

People are just as entitled to challenge you, or disagree or say your opinion is racist as you are to say your opinion.

But you seem to be able to manage this well, because if you're not good at handling reactions to your opinions then the best thing to do is probably to stay introverted as you have been doing

OP posts:
ThorsRaven · 15/11/2025 22:24

Overload.

The world and everyday life has become complex, full on and over stimulating.

Human brains are not designed to run at this capacity 100% of the time.

So everyone is tired, distracted, worn down, snappy, rude, unable to concentrate and pissed off.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/11/2025 22:24

Social media has ruined our attention spans.

BrickBiscuit · 15/11/2025 22:21

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 15/11/2025 21:43

I’m 31. I don’t need to carry ID into every shop I run in to. I assumed the lighters would be near the tills which they were. Hence not being able to get one. Try again

Why didn't you look for them near the tills then? You would indeed only need ID for buying age-verification items, not necessarily every shop you run into. You obviously know you are 31. The assistant doesn't, nor do the shop's rules.

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 22:17

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:09

You don't have to be "smart" to be able to answer a very simple question.

Is the person you have just loaded onto the back of the vehicle you are driving called George Smith or Elizabeth Jones?

I mean surely you can see if it is a man or a woman?

If not I'm not even sure how you manage to drive a large vehicle?

Thing is some of us get called racist or bigots for using the wrong pronuns or having an opinion.
Someone like me i just need a little longer to understand thing.

All in all i`ll stay a introvert some would call a hikikomori.

Kelticgold · 15/11/2025 22:14

I’ve only read 75% of your OP but I fully agree with you. I don’t know how I manage every day.

gamerchick · 15/11/2025 22:10

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 15/11/2025 22:06

I haven’t experienced anything like this, so I do think this must be a “you” problem.

I do think PP are right, it’s the way you are communicating. Stop volunteering information for people to confirm or correct you, ask more open ended questions. make sure you have full attention of who you are asking a question of, be clear in what you say. I think perhaps being a bit louder and slower would be a good start.

It really isn't a 'you' problem at all Hmm just because you haven't noticed it or has the same experience yet, doesn't mean it's not happening.

Maybe you're just unobservant.

xAwaywiththefairiesx · 15/11/2025 22:09

TheCheekySloth · 15/11/2025 21:52

Im thick and everyone else is smart.
So i will stay in my indoors bubble and avoid the world.

You don't have to be "smart" to be able to answer a very simple question.

Is the person you have just loaded onto the back of the vehicle you are driving called George Smith or Elizabeth Jones?

I mean surely you can see if it is a man or a woman?

If not I'm not even sure how you manage to drive a large vehicle?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread