DH was diagnosed with cancer this year and it has been an awful time. Our two DC have lived through the worst of it. They were the ones who saw the hospital runs, the stress and everything falling apart.
Yesterday we had a huge argument. DH wants to spend £700 on SD for Christmas. I said that if he is doing that then our two DC should also get something thoughtful and similar in value, even if I put it into savings for them. DH said SD deserves that amount and our DC do not. I found that incredibly hurtful.
DH also refuses to come to my parents for Christmas because SD might not like it. This means our DC either miss seeing my family again or they miss Christmas with their dad. We have been married 6 years and our DC have only had Christmas with my side once. We were meant to alternate every year, but it never happens because everything always has to revolve around SD and BM’s plans.
Every time SD is meant to visit, BM or SD change plans last minute. Things get cancelled or rearranged and we have to adjust everything to accommodate. It causes tension every single time.
During the row DH also said “I don’t like you”.
I feel sick today. DD has been drawing pictures of us all together, and sometimes just me and DH. I think she senses something is wrong and it is breaking me.
After the year the DC have had with DH’s cancer, I just wanted a peaceful Christmas for them. I wanted something normal for once.
AIBU to think Christmas should be fair for all DC and not centred on SD every year?
I think therapy is needed or am I avoiding the inevitable?