TW: Child abuse - Not sure whether I should look into this more or not.

You sound patronising. And calling this horrific news a "distraction" is nuts.

This sounds incredibly hard do you actually want to find out the.truth because that in itself is going to be traumatic
Is there any specialist support ,for this, even if its on line?

OP, I'm so sorry you've learned this. What an utterly horrendous, shattering thing.

I think a PP's advice to contact incest help groups is probably the best thing you can do. You will likely experience many powerful emotions, grief and anger and violation. To get through this painful journey safely, you should be with people who know how to guide you through it.

But the whole thing will be all mixed up now she knows, and maybe before she knew explicitly. Her mother being subject to that level of abuse, the abuse she suffered as a child and the way she's then been treated by her parents as a child will all be playing into her mental health issues. Mental health problems need treating holistically.

OP, I agree about calling the crisis line if you have one and about booking a GP appointment.

I think you should do some serious thinking - probably with the help of a therapist - where you explore the possible consequences of whatever you find out, and then decide what you are going to do. If you find out your dad isn't your biological father it's going to be a lot to process, but equally what if he is? Then you are still left wondering why you are treated differently from siblings. There's also the argument made above that it's better to focus on now and the future, since you can't change the past anyway, and your grandfather is dead.

What do you think are the motivations of the person who told you this?

But it sounds like you're not ready to just set this aside and focus on the now, so I think it's important you seek support to work through this.

I would not leave this and I would look into dna testing. It’s the truth and you need to deal in truths and facts.
Then you will know.

whatever the reality of your conception, YOU have done nothing wrong. You are not diminished. Your life remains your own.

What, she should just ignore it then?! Sweep it under the rug and not think about it? Pretend she never heard it?🤯

Oh OP I'm so sorry thats a really tough one to go through. Is your Dad aware? Would he be willing to do a DNA test to put your mind at ease regarding this one thing? Do you speak to any of your siblings who may be willing to do a DNA test to see if you are full siblings or not to help you decide if you need to take it to the GP or not? If no to all of that approach your GP let them know that you've been told that your "grandad" is actually your biological father and some of the ways your parents treated you vs your siblings makes you believe there could be truth to it they should be able to sort a test to see how closely your biological parents are related I should think.

I'd be looking at testing to clear it up. This could just be a rumour and if that's the case you will save a lot of stress and worry finding out as soon as possible. If it is true the result will be difficult but possibly no more difficult than spending the rest of your life wondering.

Are you in contact with your dad? Could you speak to him about this OP?

No I couldn't just put this aside either OP.

I’m not sure all the posters are understanding what you’re saying - if I’m right you’re now suspecting your maternal grandfather is also your biological father. Of course that’s a huge thing and no one would be able to just forget about it.

You need to establish the facts and thanks to DNA this should be fairly simple. I’d speak to your GP as previous posters suggested and in the meanwhile get help from your MH support team.

The main thing I guess to remember is that this won’t materially change your life either way. You already unfortunately know about the abuse in your family and you’ve done amazingly well to make your own happy family away from that horrible context. Yes if it’s true there will be a lot to work through emotionally, but you will be ok xx

You really need specialist support for this, what a terrible thing to find out. I would want know the truth, you already suspect the worst so it’s not like you have any peace of mind by not knowing. There are a number of charities that can help you.

I'm so sorry OP, that must be unimaginably hard to deal with.

In the immediate term, is there anyone who can support you today like your husband / partner?

I would make a drs appointment first thing Monday - as another poster has said, I would raise concerns that your parents may have been closely related and you're worried about your health.

If you have a crisis number from your current therapy / counselling, can you call that today and give them similar information? They may be able to direct you to someone specialist who can help you work through this.