To think my friend was racist, rude or both?

Blimey - now you’ll be wondering if whenever you see her she’s thinking this and “othering” you.

Sounds like you’re more English/ British in terms of heritage than I am, but because my heritage is Western European I never seem to get called “not English” 🤔

Ok then. You need to look harder maybe?

It’s a money pit. We have heard from governments year in and year out the billions of extra money invested. But there’s been no improvement. How long before someone admits it’s not working any more. I know people are very nostalgic and sentimental about the NHS, and I’m equally unhappy that it’s not working, but atm it’s teetering on total collapse. I think unless you have needed to use it recently, you’ve no idea how bad it is. A tweaked US style health insurance scheme is needed.

Unless I've missed something, the OP isn't an immigrant.

That's bonkers. She'd be a very ex friend if it was me. She's not someone I'd want around me ever.

I can't understand the racist suggestions on this thread at all. M husband is European (I'm British). After Brexit he had to apply to remain (despite having lived here for 20+ years). I'm sure friends remarked to him that "he'd be okay" (as he's married to me). I wouldn't even have considered for a nano second that this was in any way racist (nor would he).

What am I missing?

I haven’t said immigration has caused failing infrastructure. I’ve said our infrastructure is failing due to a combination of under investment and too many people using it. There’s a difference. But my concerns are that uncontrolled immigration is contributing to it worsening.

*immune to

This is what reform voters think, this is who they are…
https://hopenothate.org.uk/2024/04/11/what-reform-uk-voters-really-think/

To the pp who asked for evidence of links to facsist ideals, this section is the very definition of it.

• There are deeply authoritarian attitudes amongst Reform UK voters. Over half (53%) would prefer a strong leader with the power to ignore or override Parliament, while 41% believe that “in certain circumstances, violence can be necessary to defend something you strongly believe in.”

OP I wouldn’t touch a reform voter with a barge poll. Fortunately in my circles is not acceptable to say out loud you support them. It’s done on the quiet.

Anyone who talks about ‘throwing money’ at it has a bit of an agenda. Yes, it has problems. They can be fixed. Not quickly, but they can. Insurance is not the answer. Particularly not in the US style which is what Farage wants (because he can make money out of it)

It really can’t be improved without more money being thrown at it, when that’s already been tried over the last couple of decades, with absolutely no improvement whatsoever. In fact it’s in a far worse state now than it’s ever been. NHS dentists - none. Operation and investigation waiting lists - months/years. A&E waiting times - literally hours and hours. GP appointments - like hens teeth, and that’s if you’re willing to go in a phone queue of 30 plus people at 8.00 on a Monday morning. If you think it can be easily improved, you need to get in touch with the Government pronto. I’m sure they’d love to learn how they could easily fix the shit show it’s become. I’m not going to get into immigration. You will know what he intends to introduce. There’s some policies I agree with. Some I don’t. As someone has pointed out on here, it’s not a post on immigration, and I’m not going to derail any further. As you were….

The friend thinks the OP, who is part South African and of Jewish heritage, is less British than her, despite citizenship, and will only be ‘fine’ because her husband is a proper white Brit. What aren’t you seeing?

Wot? You are reading something that I can't see.

I'd struggle to maintain a friendship with anyone planning to vote Reform full stop, regardless of the comment she made.

She’s a British citizen ffs

I'm afraid that i've become immured to this kind of thing.

I kept my own (Eastern European) surname for some years after I married. I was born in Scotland and have a Scottish mother. I worked in Scotland.

When I was in my late 30s, a new bloke [ ETA Learning Support Teacher, I recall] from the south of England came to the secondary school where I was the lead for junior English.

He approached me one day: "So when did you come to this country?."

I gave him my time and date of birth. "Wow! It must have made quite an impression on you!"

"No, but it made a helluva impression on my mum."

I have a Fife accent and was working in a Fife school at the time. I'll admit that I had to bite my tongue - a southerner accusing me of being an incomer when I was working in a school only a few miles from my hometown? [Sorry, I guess that makes me just as bad!]

The only thing really bothering me about this country is the rise of racism and other intolerance.
Wealth inequality needs sorting though.

Exactly. The post isn’t about immigration. And I didn’t make it into one. I had mentioned that I was with the friend on Reform and immigration, but thought her comment on ‘you’ll be okay’ unnecessary and rude. I then responded to a poster who asked me why I agree with Reform. Ive kept it brief, as not wanting to derail. Call me a cynic, but there’s so many posts started like this where Reform is mentioned, then the poster will add a mentioned derogatory remark at the end. It’s just I’m thinking what is OP doing with a friend like this, because surely this is something she will have noted before? Friends don’t suddenly show who they are or what they stand for so far into a friendship. I don’t really discuss politics with friends, but I know them enough to know their general opinions on stuff from other fringe conversations.

Can you point to research which shows that the majority of people who follow Reform are white supremacists?

The NHS could very easily be improved and remain as it is.
Farage has said ‘US style’ is his preference, so this is another policy on which he doesn’t tick your box.
I’m not aware of any immigration policies of his which aren’t extreme - which do you mean?
Which things he’s doing tick your boxes? I genuinely can’t see anywhere he aligns with things you’ve said so far.

They are not white supremacist but a big portion (dare I say the majority) of their following are, so that should make us reflect the current state of affairs in this godforsaken country right now.

It’s not reform she’s worried about, it’s the racist friend.

She’s at your house. She says something that is racist and you come on MN to discuss and wonder if she is a racist.

Are you frightened of her? Are you not able to have a discussion with her about how you feel about what she said?

I can understand you may not want the
confrontation but she is supposed to be your friend. She shared her view with you, you are absolutely in your right to share your views with her. Please do it!

I do feel that there should be at least partial introduction of compulsory private health insurance, but retain some sort of NHS platform for those not in a position to contribute privately. You can’t honestly believe the NHS is currently fit for purpose? I’ve had relatives over the last couple of years who have had to use the NHS and the service received verges on incompetence. It really is dire. And I didn’t say I didn’t agree with his immigration policies, but just the more extreme views he has, which tbh I don’t think would see the light of day anyway. The fox hunting issue hasn’t come to the fore, it’s just people who have pointed out his previous history on this, he hasn’t confirmed that fox hunting policies are going to change.

You might not have said that racism didn't exist, but you implied that the OP might have made up this particular example. Why would you want to suggest that?

I don't think I've ever seen a thread about racism on MN where there isn't at least one Reform type trying to argue that it didn't happen or it wasn't really racist etc.

This thread isn't about immigration, so I'm not sure why you're trying to bring that in. This is about a racist comment that was made towards a British citizen who has lived here all her life. Which you suggested might be a fabrication.