To think my friend was racist, rude or both?

What religious customs have we let take hold?
I’m old. My freedom has been curtailed by totally British customs and institutions for most of my life - it was getting better. It’s getting worse again, and not because of ‘certain religions’. U less you mean fundamentalist Christian ones -Farage is in favour of the moves against birth control and abortion in the US (or has said he is in speeches over there).

Is she concerned about ‘excessive immigration’ or illegal immigration? Did you point out you’re not an illegal immigrant?

Yep its generally a cipher for I'm about to say something foul

I won't lay out the facts about the Tories' failed "reforms" of the NHS and how much money they wasted - because theae have been available for years and you clearly haven't been interested enough to look them up.

I have to use the NHS every month. The last time was two weeks ago, the next time is in a fortnight. It works smoothly every time. It is not teetering on "total collapse" - and anyone who spouts tabloid cliches in lieu of reasoned, fact-based argument doesn't merit attention.

You want health insurance? You're free to buy it. It's quite suprising, given your views, that you haven't already. What's stopping you? Meanwhile, the vast majority who actually care about this country - and everyone in it - will continue to fight for the NHS, and other areas of vital infrastructure, and against the grifters of Reform - and the fools who support the grifters - who view the UK only as a cash-cow, profit making venture

Yep the whole “Reform has ethnic minority members” is so weak. They are politically expedient. So many candidates / members have been caught saying racist things - they have shown us time and time again who they really are.

. And the fact that so many “patriotic English” wearing their poppies and waving their flags, can’t see that the “war our boys fought for our freedoms” was against exactly this sort of disgusting bullshit, is ASTONISHING to me.

I often wonder if people confuse racism with fear of other religions:. unless we are careful with allowing certain religions 'customs' to take hold ' as a woman we may end up losing our freedoms.

OP is British. That’s what you are missing.

Implying that other Britons, of foreign ancestry, that don’t happen to have English husbands / children won’t be ok is what you are missing

The words in the OP about "you will be ok" implying others will not be

I’m guessing she’s always been at least a bit like this, but you’re only noticing/ offended because it was semi-directed at you. Sad.

This is where Reform leads where billionaires divide us and laugh all the way to their money.

If people think unleashed hate will be safely contained see ICE and all the tourists etc...they are detaining etc. etc..

This.

Friend may have simply been concerned that you might think Reform would be coming for you - I know some people that feel this way.

However, your friend should really be shouting loudly that if labour don’t implement a Danish-like system then Reform will get in, not adding support to Reform.

Also you know how she sees you. That foreign ancestry makes you “less than” in her eyes.

So I assume she expects those without an English husband / English kids to “not be ok”

She wasn’t even saying you will be ok because of who you. Rather that you have an English husband / kids.

So if you did not have that she would not see you ask ok? Yeah your friend is a hardcore racist.

Sorry.

Also shows it’s not simply about being an immigrant for people like your friend. She is an ethno-nationalist.

Meanwhile, let no-one else in. It’s madness, like being on a raft at sea, yet letting more and more people on it til it sinks.

So, when are you starting your training to be a carer then? Or is it agricultural field work you're going for? And what are your plans for ensuring that your children, your siblings' children and the children of all your friends, neighbours and casual acquaintances are the ones who will be going into caring, crop-picking, street sweeping and the lower echelons of seasonal hospitality work?

Oh, and making statements like "let no one else in" just higjlights a lack of understanding of how the economy works.

I'd ask her to leave. She IS racist and I'd tell her so.

I’ve had relatives over the last couple of years who have had to use the NHS and the service received verges on incompetence - Annecdote isn't data. Your "relatives" don't live everywhere across the UK, and don't use every single service the NHS offers. And "have had to use the NHS" is so empty as to be meaningless. The vast majority "have had to use" the NHS in the past year. I have. The service I received was very good.

Clearly the NHS has long-standing problems, caused in large part by 14+ years of deliberate underfunding. But it remains one of the best global exemplars of delivering health services to millions of people in a cost effective manner. Your belief that decimating it further and forcing private health care is the best way forward is touchingly naive - or bone-achingly stupid depending on your point of view.

but just the more extreme views he has, which tbh I don’t think would see the light of day anyway. If, god forbid, that grifting turd ever became PM, you'll find that his extreme views will see the light of day. Because, once it becomes obvious that he doesn't have the first understanding of, or ability to, govern a complex, post-industrial economy like the UK and voters begin to hold him to account, ever-more extreme is all that's open to him.

The number of people who say that both Tories and Labour aren't fit to govern so they'll vote Reform is bizarre. Reform is a PLC, not a political party, run by men whose only interest is accruing wealth and power for themselves, who don't have any vision other than selling of the last of the family silver, who hold deeply unpleasant views about race, sexuality and gender, who are happy to tacitly (at time overtly) encourage racism - and who've shown (Farage, Tice) that they're absolutely not interested in doing anything at all for the "little" people who elected them. Tice doesn't even live in the country full-time. Farage is only interested in sniffing the backsides of wannabe dictators.

Like I said - touchingly naive. Or bone-achingly stupid. Which, in terms of outcomes, come to more or less the same thing.

It’s the p9litical version of ‘some of my best friends are black’. Doesn’t make Reform not racist. Some POC fail to grasp racists means the whole group, including their ‘friends’. It’s a mystery to me, but it happens.

Weird that Ben Habib and Zia Yusuf have both held prominent positions then, since neither of them are white.

I fundamentally disagree. Our government spends less per capita on health than the US. All that type of system does is make profits for businesses. Satisfaction in the NHS was very high in 2010. It can be again, but it’ll take time - and, yes, investment.

Try reading it again.

The OP is a British citizen, born in Britain. Different situation. Though I think you and your DH probably should worry as Farage wants to remove people with indefinite leave to remain.

Net immigration has reduced by about half. It’s not uncontrolled. You can stop worrying.

So instead of asking her how she hadn't been aware of the friend's racist views previously, you decided to cast doubt on the OP's account of her friend's racist comment?

Perhaps she did already know that her friend was a Reform supporter, but previously believed - as many apparently do - that supporting Reform didn't necessarily make her racist? And it's only now that her friend's racism has become clearer to her? I mean, I would naturally assume that anyone who supports Reform is likely to be racist because I believe that Reform is a fundamentally racist party, but their supporters regularly claim not to be and some people will probably take that at face value.

Your attempt to suggest that the OP's story is made up is part of a wider pattern that I see on any thread where racism is mentioned. I don't know if Reform voters have some sort of duty rota where they take it in turns to suggest that anyone who says that they have experienced racism must be lying, but it's very predictable and rather tedious.

You can’t see or understand it for a reason. I will leave that for you to work out for yourself.