To think my friend was racist, rude or both?

I used to get a version of that a fair bit as an Irish person in the UK — people would make remarks about ‘immigrants’ or ethnic minorities and then assure me obviously they didn’t mean me. I think I was supposed to be flattered and join in with othering the others.

The difference was that these people weren’t my friends, they were random racists met at bus stops or Brexit bigots at parish council meetings, who believed they were giving me the opportunity to align myself with the goodies, and sneer about dirty Asians.🙄

She has given you the gift of knowledge. She sees you as “other” and judges.

So now what are you going to do?

Maintain harmony and say nothing or walk away from her?

I doubt a conversation will make her think or change her opinions.

Which ones? I'm sure there are all flavours of white supremacists, but the most famous one I know of - Tommy Robinson - is quite keen on Reform if not actively a supporter (probably because he's far too dodgy to get away with being affiliated with a political party).

Ask her exactly what she means. You’ll never enlighten her or change her attitude if you don’t have a reasoned discussion.

I’ll put it this way. If the conversation was happening as you said, and I overheard it in a coffee shop, I would 100000% believe that person to be racist/xenophobic.

And it would add to my already quite enormous pile of fears that this country is spiraling headlong towards fascism.

Your friend is a racist and xenophobic idiot.

I would end the friendship over this.

I think you know now!

Trust those fascists? I don’t think so.

For a remark to be racist, it needs to contain a judgement value about ethnicity or skin color. Do you think that is the case?

IMHO your friend’s remarks might be more accurately construed as xenophobic. But no one here can really judge based on a snippet of reported speech.

On a purely simple level, I just do not tolerate any racism I hear, see etc around me. I will always call it out. You'd never know, to look at me, that I am 'other', but I am, and experienced some racism as a kid because of my background.
My kids (adults now) are mixed race, and I am prepared to be very militant on their behalf.
It's OK to be bothered by immigration, it's an unresolved issue, but it's not OK to go public with your private prejudices.

it’s all very laughable. What is pure British? Is she 100% Celt? If not her ancestors were all immigrants.

@IFoundThem Are you OK? Because you sound just like said friend.

Are you only upset that she’s insulted you, or do you also feel upset that she’s just generally racist/ believes in stripping citizenship and deporting people who have just as much right to be here as any of us?

How to totally miss the entire point of the thread!!!

Im so sorry love. I think if I was in your position, I would ask her to leave…

I ended a long standing friendship this week after someone very deliberately used an ableist slur in conversation (had no idea they were that kind of person)- I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with people these days. Or rather I do, and it’s horrifying.

They say. Now. Who knows what happens if they get into power.

I’d straight up ask her to leave. She fucked around and now deserves to find out.

This is the damage the propaganda on social media/GB News is doing. People being absolutely ok with telling their friends they're racist and anti-Semitic. Because they assume you think the same.

She's telling you that she sees you as 'other'. But it's ok, because you have a white English husband. So you're acceptable and her voting for racists won't affect her friend (she thinks). Has she not heard the Leopards Eating Faces Party joke?

I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to be around her anymore. I can see it's difficult though - perhaps try to engage and make her see reality this weekend.

Tell her what you think then tell her to get the fuck out of your house.
I had a colleague say I was okay to stay in England,
as is DP, and not the ‘sort’ of immigrants we need to get rid of … I presume thats because we’re both white. I told him exactly what I thought of him. I also pointed out that as a dual British citizen there’s fuck all he or Reform could do about getting rid of me anyway. The twat.