To not want my friends nanny on holiday with us?

Luxury beliefs, which may make you feel nice in Islington, but have little relevance to how a huge majority of the world’s population actually lives.

You are so right! You are right 100% and the friend is an arsehole if she thinks this is acceptable. However, a word of warning. I had a great friend, totally into social justice, wonderful person. In the early 1990s she went on a holiday to Greece where in a boutique hotel an Albanian dad was employed as a refugee. He had a family visiting him, staying in servant's quarters, and his little girl squatted and peed by the swimming pool, after which the Greek owner screamed at the girl, screamed at the father and made a scene, shouting. My friend witnessed it and called the Albanian father and the little girl to her table by the swimming pool, made the Greek owner bring a juice for the girl and a coffee for the Albanian dad (groundsman he was I think). After that she insisted, every day (4 remaining days or so) on buying coffee and juice for the dad and the little girl at her and her husband's table, to show the horrid hotel owner that he should not have behaved that way. The owner duly complied, smiled and brought coffees and juice, etc. I don't know for sure, but I am ready to bet anything the groundsman was sacked after my social justice loving friend was gone. I am almost 100% confident. Don't make trouble for the nanny, please by your virtue signalling.

I would maybe be considerate if the Nanny was put up in her own accommodation. Including a bed.

Yup. And who is cooking, will the nanny be happy eating food cooked by OP and sitting around with her friends or is she expected to vanish? It wouldn’t be for me.

Do you really think a Nanny isn't a servant? Being treated well should be a minimum but they are still Servants.

Employees get proper beds.

I would have no part of a holiday with someone who would treat the WOC employee like a slave. She won't provide a bed for the nanny and expects her to take on multiple extra children when she says boo.

Fuck that and fuck vacationing with someone who treats their minority workers like shit.

How is a nanny a servant. A free holiday a decent wage. Its called being an employee

It’s weird on so many levels, but just thinking about the day to day: you and other friend would get up and be in kitchen sorting out breakfast and talking amongst yourselves about the day and the plans. Where will this KSA friend be? Sitting on the terrace with a coffee while her nanny sorts out her kids?

You go out for the day, you and other friend carrying stuff for kids and selves, chattering with each other and all children…third friend is wafting along next to you while her children are looked after by nanny who’s trailing behind?

You go out to eat: is nanny sitting with you, with KSA kids? What is third friend going to be doing while first two friends are dealing with meals and showers and actually being with your children?

The nanny very likely won’t get to “holiday” at all. She’ll be busy with housework or childcare the entire time, but with children who are extra hyped up and in an unfamiliar place. It’ll be no fun for her at all. I was a nanny for a very rich Greek family and all their poor Filipino workers were run ragged. It’s horrible to see, but unfortunately the workers put up with it as they still get paid much better than they do back home. And even I, who was treated much better, absolutely hated the trips we did, despite staying in lovely places it was extremely stressful.

Yikes, "trouser a bit extra"? What a vimit inducing comment

Or she could enjoy her holiday in Spain without having a week of servitude and caring for 6 children, you are eye rolling as if these families are their savours and "we" don't understand.

Travelling to Spain will be seen as a perk for the Nanny. But she needs her own bed and her regular time off otherwise it will be seen as exploitative. Your friend is not treating her as a professional domestic worker. Ask your friend if this is the case?

I had to have a maid in the ME. I worked and it’s realistically the only available childcare.

I had many deep conversations with her and can confirm that of all the options available to her she was extremely happy to have her job. She was a childless older widow from India. That said, I would never have brought her on holiday. That’s family time. When we were away our maid did a bit of housekeeping but basically got a break.

Too many migrants to the ME get very used to having help. I’ve posted on here before about when I had one of the DC’s friends over after school. Boy was from a Lebanese family and DD’s bestie. I picked him up from school and his mum was there with TWO maids. Said it would be too much for me to look after 4 children. Really weird. I tried to say I’d be fine but she was insistent. Maybe nervous about my capabilities!

I spent the afternoon and evening with these two polite Indonesian women who didn’t speak much English and stressing about what to feed them. Ridiculous.

As an interesting aside. I once asked my maid about how she’d chosen to apply for the role. It was postcards in supermarkets then. She said the supermarket workers would hold back ads for good jobs (western families) and she’d paid to get first dibs if any came up. She also paid to get out of her contract with the ME agency who has originally sponsored her. It’s hard for them.

I wouldn't feel comfortable either. I spent a bit of time in Hong Kong and observed how locals (and sometimes expats) treat Filipino nannies/maids. Not as extreme, as KSA but nevertheless, it is dumping whole household on a woman who has to sleep on the floor in children's bedroom (due to extremelly tiny size of apartments) and gets ~half-day off per week.
I do understand your friend is not used to looking after her children, and feels helpless in the situation where she might need to (plus she doesn't want to leave the nanny with her husband as sexual abuse of filipino maids is a very common and known problem ), so not even sure what cpuld make her do this holiday without her help.

It refers to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia

How crass. I have travelled and I understand the heirarchical dynamic. I would not feel comfortable with a nanny looking after my children unless I was paying her myself. Educate yourself on modern slavery. I know it exists but I would not personally want to be a party to it, because I don't treat others as lesser.

They could. But a free holiday to Spain might actually be fun too. There’s no way she’d be able to go otherwise and maybe she wants to travel

Where is KSA?

A week off for a single woman in bloody KSA?

Lovely 🙄

I would honestly be rethinking my friendship with someone who has bought into the whole KSA lifestyle to the extent that she’s happy to adopt the exploitative system of hired help. I’ve seen what it’s like there, and I wouldn’t be able enjoy a holiday in that situation.

I understand that your friend having a nanny is all very normal for her. However, I would feel awkward that the Nanny's work load is being increased and she's having to sleep on a blow-up bed in an office - I suspect without her knowledge and she'll just have to lump it. Often staff, as this Nanny is likely viewed, aren't always given much thought or consideration too. The property should be able to accommodate the Nanny, in a proper bed in her own room. She should be getting some 'down time' and be paid additionally on top of her normal salary for the fact her workload has just increased. I doubt any of that will happen. Your friend wants to bring her Nanny, because she's not used to looking after her own children, and likely doesn't want too. I'd feel awkward too, but you can't dictate what your friend does or if the other people take up the help.

But their employers could give them a week off while they go on holiday to Spain though.

if your friend was a reasonable employer then she wouldn’t make the nanny sleep on a blow up bed. Instead she’d offer for her to stay in a local hotel.