My husband is always exhausted. Is this normal?

He needs to see a GP as a starter for a blood test. He also needs to speak to them about his bowels if it hasn't improved he needs that examining.

Many people with IBS also have to follow a low FODMAP diet which isn't very compatible with being vegan!
No onions, garlic, tomatoes, nightshade vegetables etc.

He should not try a FODMAP exclusion diet without a dietician.

If all those elements come back clear then it would be worth investigating long covid. I have long covid and need similar in terms of energy levels but I have been cleared by the GP of any other conditions first.

Came here to post this. Am vegan

Lots of vegans are deficient in the b vitamins. I’d get that checked. Eve when done right.

He should speak to the GP who may do blood tests or advise a sleep study.

Protein shakes ? Veganism is a hard diet to get all the nutrition you need. Not impossible but hard

I would be concerned about IBD, rather than "just" IBS in this situation, and I say that as someone who has it (and is, incidentally, vegetarian because my gut is less angry that way). Being vegan can mask blood loss and such as being merely dietary. There are new dietary guidelines out for IBD recently, they recommend chicken, but he could probably replace it with peanut butter (not the whole nut, they will upset his gut), tofu, or other low fibre vegan proteins.

Most vegans don't actually have sufficient b12 because there are no good vegetable sources for it. Lots of vegans have to go back to a proper diet for their health.
Feed him red meat for a month and see the difference.

At the risk of sounded like a Redditor (because they say it a lot on there).. have you got a carbon monoxide detector? Just checking, as you're both so exhausted.

Apart from the vegan issue, a constantly waking child takes it toll so doing some work around this might help. (Not a magic wand issue I realise but progress can be made if your child is NT)

B12 deficiency it sounds like. Vegan and those who eat a coeliac diet are quite susceptible to it.

Friend of mine was like this energy wise as a vegan. She eventually went back to being vegetarian and that helped a lot. Especially reintroducing stuff like eggs. Is that an option to try?

He's being woken 3 times a night, and presumably has for years, and is working full time in presumably quite a full on job given his salary. I'd be exhausted too. If I wake in the night, e.g. needing toilet, I am much more tired the next day than if I sleep straight through. For me, after 6-7 hours uninterrupted sleep I feel much fresher than nights where I've woken even if total amount of sleep is the same or longer.

His digestive issues are possibly also contributing. While it's possible to have a very healthy vegan diet and be full of energy (a close friend is a vegan endurance athlete), it takes a lot of effort and planning and doesn't suit everyone.

I had a period of acute tiredness a few years back, was falling asleep at work, couldn't function properly it was a vitamin d deficiency. A few high doses on prescription sorted me out & I still take 1 regular pill a day. If he doesn't get much sunshine it could be that

Why does he not want to do 4 days a week?
Most people would jump at this and he can easily afford it.

I agree with others that it could be the sleep disruption and I would sort this (as well as getting a blood test).

We have different forms of sleep and (I can’t remember the names) but we need the deep one to get a decent nights sleep.
Some people get into this deep state more easily than others and so it may be that he is not achieving this deep state for long before being woken up and so his quality of sleep is much poorer than you both realise.

I would take a blood test too but find a way to make the youngest not disturb him (maybe you could sleep in their room for a couple weeks) and see if it helps.

Agree. No good guessing what he needs as a supplement.

OH had blood tests recently and was deficient in b12, and vit d. Surprisingly the gp didn't ask if he was vegetarian or vegan (he isn't).

He should go get his bloods done again, he may be anaemic (or even something else) I was vegan for while, it really messed up my stomach unfortunately (and my iron/b12 levels) on guidance from a medical professional I've allowed some (good quality/high weldare) dairy and meat/fish back into my diet...funnily enough my stomach issues are so much better now...

Check out his b12 get blood test and iron ferratin and folate infact im sure doc will do a range of tests ASAP

I suggested this as I'm a menopause coach who has seen a few husbands in an andropause situation too.

In case anyone can benefit from knowing this, ALL men go through andropause in the same way that women go through menopause. Some get light symptoms, some really suffer (just like women) but they all go through it. It should always be a consideration on your radar if your husband has these kinds of symptoms. As with the menopause there are major lifestyle changes that can make the difference as well as hormone supplementation.

Yes he definitely needs blood tests and then work out what supplements he needs - does he take any as a vegan diet definitely needs to be carefully managed to ensure nutritional needs are met

YABU for ‘mental load’!

OP does he sleep in bed with you or in a separate room? As in, do you know for sure that he is in bed and sleeping when he says.

The first thing I thought of was Long Covid, OP, especially when you mentioned the big black shadows under his eyes. It triggers MCAS for some people, which makes yeast and fermented foods a problem, and also leads to random “anxiety” attacks (which aren’t anxiety at all but adrenaline and / or histamine dumps in the body). Lots of us with LC have issues with very high B12 because we aren’t absorbing it properly any more. Ferritin levels can become very low, too. It’s a nightmare finding doctors who understand LC and the NHS doesn’t acknowledge MCAS at all, but there’s lots you can do with diet and OTC antihistamines. If your husband responds well, it will at least be a data point for you. Rest and pacing all activities are the most important things, which I totally understand is incredibly tough with working full time and looking after little kids.

Is he able to do the activities he wants to? Can he stay up past 10pm when he is with his mates?

His veganism is not compatible with family life.

I've skim read so don't think it's been mentioned. Get him to ask the dr for his testosterone levels checked. Low T can cause fatigue, low energy and lethargy.

Is his sleep ok when he does get some sleep? Look in to sleep apnoea symptoms, this is another cause of excessive daytime sleepiness