My husband is always exhausted. Is this normal?

Could be a vitamin D deficiency. It doesn’t sound like he sees a lot of sunlight. He needs to get his bloods done.

It’s his diet 💯

Has he been tested for SIBO and tried the fodmap diet?

If he has IBS he's almost guaranteed to have some nutrient malabsorption issues & those are tricky, sometimes impossible to manage on a vegan diet. He really needs wider testing than the usual GP blood panel; thyroid function, testosterone & vitamins D & B12 for a start, it would also be a good idea to check for prediabetes/ type 2 diabetes - they're not just for the portly.
It's worth getting proper medical tests & advice, you can waste years trying to manage the wrong condition based on guesswork.
If nothing medical shows up then you're both reassured & can focus on finding a way to help your kid sleep through the night.

Edited for dyslexic spelling

He is vegan, so cooks for himself.

Mystery solved.

It's the diet. Humans are omnivores and it is not healthy to base a diet only in vegetables.

It sounds like the disrupted nights are the major issue. You say you’re tired too, OP, and understandably so. However, re his undereye dark circles, I had these (and IBS) and they were a sign of Non Coeliac Gluten Sensitivity. Since cutting out gluten, I feel much better in myself, my digestion has completely changed for the better, and my dark circles are much reduced.

So, focus on sorting the sleep but get your husband to have a wide range of blood tests including a coeliac screen, iron, folate, B12, Vitamin D, thyroid, etc. Push for the non-routine tests - they often omit them (coeliac and the vits).

Could you let me know the brands you are taking I'm on the lookout for better B12.

OP I second sounds very like B12 Deficiency. I think he could possibly need B12 injections as its not very well absorbed in the gut. Def needs a chat with the GP. Also he should take a daily vit D

Lots of people leaping to diet first, blood test etc

id be looking first at sleep apnea. Does he snore? Do you even know this as you’re not sleeping in same bed that often.

My exh sleepiness took a massive increase over a period of 4 years. I knew he snored, but we’d slept in seperate beds since kids left home due to menopause and his snoring. I hadn’t realised how bad it got, till he’d fall asleep regularly in day, and then even while he was talking or eating. It took a year of pushing him and GP to do the simple sleep cap procedure and we found he had very severe sleep apnea

went onto a CPAP and after 3 weeks was a different bloke, mode improved, energy improved and he wouldn’t stop tlaking 😳🙄🤣🤣🤣🤣.

it is massively under diagnosed , it causes masses of symptoms that can be very serious.

so , whilst all other points on diet and bloods are valid, I’d also try to spend odd night with him to see if he’s snoring a lot, and then get him to either buy one of watch tracker things as first point to see if he’s snoring etc and or go to GP and push for testing .

ok I know CPAP machine aren’t great to use …but you do get used to and they’re literally a life saver

Does he do any exercise/sports? You said he has no evening hobbies so sounds like he has an unhealthy lifestyle as well as lack of nutrients. Good he's getting bloods done.

I would get DH to check his diet. While the headline message is eating Vegan is the healthy choice it can actually be very unhealthy and dangerous if the diet isn’t balanced and therefore not getting enough of all the essential protein, fats , vitamins and minerals.

`it is possible to eat a healthy vegan diet with sufficient nutrients etc. but it does need to be thought through properly and just eating ready meals / UHP vegan food substitutes will not provide the balance needed.

Blood tests and carbon monoxide detector first checks

Iron deficiency?
Lack of exercise?
I find I get really tired when I don't exercise. Getting physically tired helps my mental exhaustion.
Id encourage him to go to the GP and get a health MOT

He"s 44. He really ahouldn't be like that yet.Yanbu.

I got like that at 58, when a single mum
Turned out I had bc. Once rid of the cancer, my old energy came back.

No reason to think he has anything serious but I'd persuade your dh to have a health check, with full bloods. And persuade him to take a daily multivitami . Is he getting enough sunlight? Is he low on iron?

As others have said get a blood test for anaemia, thyroid issues, b12 and testosterone. When I was anaemic I would sleep all day and night if I could I was exhausted!

Does he exercise? Get fresh air and sunlight every day? As well as everything mentioned it sounds like he needs to get his vitamin d levels checked too.
Could you exercise outdoors as a family? Lethargy breeds lethargy, I feel very tired and lethargic if I dont exercise outdoors daily, it does wonders to improve mental wellbeing.

I would definitely get his B12 level checked

I'd definitely have a blood test if I was him. My OH has always loved his sleep but has constant energy when required, then catches up after busy phases. We eat very well though, including meat.
B12 and Iron are tricky to replicate, as are the nutrients for the gut biome from meat stock.
Vegans always argue that there are millions of vegans in India, which is true, but they are physically much smaller than us (assuming your OH is a white Anglo Saxon!) and have plentiful sunlight which we, alas, are not blessed with.

Being woken up three times a night might be making him feel exhausted. Some people really suffer from broken sleep. Of course, I sympathise with you too OP. Having said that, I can be a bit groggy in the morning after a broken night’s sleep but am usually fine after a coffee and can enjoy the day with the kids (e.g. if it’s a weekend). So maybe there is something else going on.

A family member suffers with a chronic digestive/autoimmune condition, because of this they have very low magnesium levels as well as other key nutrients which can cause fatigue, irritability etc
I would go back and ask for repeat bloods to include a magnesium check as isn’t always routinely checked, at least if they come back all clear you can rule out low levels of iron, magnesium etc and work on the next thing it can be.
Our youngest sounds very similar regarding sleep, we still co sleep once they wake up once and come in to us because otherwise it’s just too tiring, if all the bloods are fine I would suggest going back to co sleeping until they are a little older.
Our eldest was very similar sleep wise and wasn’t confident to sleep on his own until nearer 6-7, whereas our others slept independently from 6 months. Some children just need extra reassurance so if you’re trying to get him to sleep on his own because you feel you ‘have to’ because of societal norms, a lot of us are in the same boat!

Malnutrition from veganism

What are his reasons for veganism? If it’s health related, should be an easy one to debunk literally by asking him how he feels.

If it’s moral reasons, it’s harder but you can source high welfare animal products from local farm shops

Alternatively, marmite or vegemite, very frequently.

He has anxiety, having anxiety is exhausting.

Very high b12 should be checked often…..

get it checked again and keep an eye on it

It should be tested for. I would write a formal complaint to any single GP surgery that refuses it

its one of the only hormones you can overdose on! That’s for starters.

plus not a lot of people realise but it’s a hormone and needs to be checked. No dr should ever refuse. They refuse b12. But vitamin d they shouldn’t