My husband is always exhausted. Is this normal?

Fair point but it’s a start. I have IBD but for several years it was thought to be IBS and I did have positive results on both tests followed by a colonoscopy.

Its likely his diet. He needs to keep a meal/drink.plan for a month and get ut assessed by a professional nutritional therapist.

Being woken several times a night is no small thing, it’s unlikely either of you are ever completing a full sleep cycle. I feel far better after 6 hours of consecutive sleep than 8 very broken hours.

Agree with diet and bloods but also as someone who only started going out working neatly ft in the last two years and still doesn’t have close to what dh has in terms of constant emails, phone calls about meetings, firefighting etc, and the fact that if his job goes we’re effed, Id say it could honestly be just life too.

He should get his thyroid tested.

Agree with all the blood/sleep apnoea tests mentioned. Also worth getting an eye test if not up to date.

These tests don't mean there is no IBD if they are negative. A colonoscopy is needed to be sure of the large bowel. An MRI or ultrasound for the small bowel.

I'd be wary that the IBS isn't actually IBD. Many IBD patients are misdiagnosed with IBS for a long time. I'm one of them. I also can't tolerate gluten and couldn't handle fermented foods. I can handle fermented foods now that I'm correctly diagnosed and have been able to alter things correctly.

My son has IBD as well and the exhaustion he had before diagnosis was extreme. Autoimmune conditions often involve a lot of exhaustion.

If he’s vegan he’s likely deficient in B12 and most likely iron too. Get him some supplements but if he wants to get bloods at the doctors don’t start supplements yet.

If he has bowel issues has he actually been diagnosed with IBS. Has he had FIT and calprotectin tests to rule out IBD?

I agree test for sleep apnea and celiac as well as the usual iron, b12 etc. Vit D is another important one, I feel like rubbish when my Vit D is low and it can really affect your immune system.

A nutritionist might be better than a GP when it comes to diet as they will be able to take the veganism & IBS into account.

With the 5 yr old I would put a mattress on the floor of your room and let them come in and sleep there if they don't disturb you. OR buy a bigger bed for child's room and take turns co-sleeping so that you both aren't being woken up overnight every night.

Haven't read all the replies @Wrenbirdwren but it could be his diet. But also, does he snore? My husband was like this and turned out he had sleep aponea.

Speak to the GP and get your DH to have a full work up done. And if he snores get him to refer to a sleep clinic.

He did go private luckily and has had a lot of success with treatments, the trouble is the expense which isn't something we can sustain or get the NHS to pick up the slack with.

It's an absolute nightmare to navigate because I'd be willing to pay whatever it takes to help him stay healthy if money was not an issue, but we're both disabled, and have a disabled child too and the costs just keep racking up.

Also get him checked for coeliacs disease

Does he snore? Is he over weight? Look at the Epworth sleepiness score and see if he ticks any of the risk factors for sleep apnea. Also get iron levels checked and vit b12.

This is so spot on. Anyone who wants to get tested for T levels usually has to go private as like you say the NHS isn't good for this usually. The US tends to be more ahead with this stuff.

12 is also low, without doubt, regardless of whether it technically creeps into the low acceptable range. Noone testing knows what his natural levels are either. My husband's, for reference, are 27. If your husband tested as 12 this year it could be in the process of falling.

He is vegan - says it all.
This sort of a "diet" doesn't sustain an adult human being.
Full stop.

This is a good question.

As above, full bloods are needed. It could be anything from malaise with family life, poor diet, chronic inflammation to kidney failure.

Could he take some kind of gut health supplement? My partner had a ‘diagnosis’ of possible IBS, but it’s pretty clear now that what he has an autoimmune condition. He gets the crashing fatigue if he doesn’t manage it. Although he’s seen improvements through various things. Gut health is heavily implicated in those, and fermented foods can help. In the absence of those though maybe a supplement

As a side note. I’m vegan and annoyingly perky. (And older than him).

I believe iodine deficiency can also be an issue with a vegan diet.

In my experience the NHS aren't great with sexual health and hormones.

DP went for a test for his male hormone levels and was told he was fine because he was within normal range. Normal range being something like 12-30, and him being 12.

That means somebody could basically have triple the level of testosterone he had, and still be within the normal range.

He ended up having to go private.

I had similar with some female health check ups despite suffering overwhelmingly with the symptoms, was told nothing they could do as within normal range despite being anything close to optimal.

Blood tests should probably also check for coeliac, particularly as he has bowel symptoms. A friend of mine had exhaustion as her only symptom, and that's what it turned out to be. Her life is so much better now. If the blood test is positive it would need to be confirmed with a biopsy.

I have an underactive thyroid, took me two years to get GP to take it seriously and the only reason he did was I saw the nurse practitioner and cried and she said she thought she knew what it was and did a blood test. Next day I get a call from the surgery to say GP needs to see me urgently.

He never apologised for ignoring my issues, he insisted I was depressed, but said it would take a while to titrate me up to the correct doe but "You must have felt like swimming through treacle." Well that was quite a good description. I had to go out to my car at lunchtime at work to sleep for half an hour or so, did the same at the end of the day before I could drive home.

Going onto levothyroxine was like a miracle even on the low starting dose, when I got up to the full dose I just couldn't believe what normal life felt like.

It might not by this with your DH but it could be, could be low iron but whatever he needs blood tests.

I hope it gets sorted, it is a horrible way to live.

This was my first thought.
Iron
Vitamin D
B12
If you want to eat a vegan diet you have to really study nutrition. You have to plan meals and shopping. If he isn't doing that he is probably undernourished and malnourished. A lot of the pretend "vegan" meat and cheese products are very poor quality. I have a lot of friends who are culturally vegan and have generations of knowledge and experience in preparing nutritious food. It is an art form.

get his ferritin tested. I went to the pharmacy as was having severe fog and tiredness. They said possibly low iron but actually my iron is really high and it’s quite common in people of Irish descent so something to get checked over before taking any supplements.

IBS suggests nutrients he is taking aren’t getting into him.