My husband is always exhausted. Is this normal?

Oh that's wonderful news OP! So glad it is something readily fixed!

Curious to see if any updates to this too. I'd look at iron, thyroid, and b12.

Has his thyroid been checked? It could be underactive, worth ruling out, because that will reduce you to levels of fatigue you can't imagine. My other main thoughts are iron deficiency anaemia, easy enough to test for. A very high B12 actually means he's deficient! Also check his Vit D. A trip to the GP is definitely needed, and do let us know how he gets on!

I am mostly plant based.
i had my bloods tested via GP.
My results re vitamin B12 were reported to be “within recommended levels”.

B12 is harder to optain as a vegan anyway, and my husband is also vegan, he was reported to be under the recommended level, and as soon as he started the weekly B12 injections, his energy improved way much, and he stopped crying at stuff that normally wouldn’t have such a big effect on his emotions.

Personally, I’d get his bloods checked, but even if they come back as normal, I’d take a sublingual 1000mcg tablet daily.

im not a doctor, but someone offering an example of a real life experience.

I think this is often missed. im pretty sure its the reasons for my husbands constant exhaustion

@Wrenbirdwren has he had his iron including his ferritin checked? Low ferritin (below 30) could explain his symptoms. It's also fairly likely, despite his efforts with his diet, because his IBD symptoms will make it much harder for him to absorb iron from his diet. I'd suggest he gets it checked and if low organise an infusion privately as it will be very hard to get up with supplements.

Clearly lived a very sheltered life if you think this isn't a sensible possibility.

Respectfully, what is the point of him? You can do everything yourself and afford to outsource the things you don’t want to do. I’d get rid before your boy grows up talking to women like this.

I don't understand quite a few things.

Why is he cooking for himself and only himself? Surely he can cook a vegan meal for everybody, or you can cook a vegan meal and then add in a bit of meat separately for the rest of you and the children. I mean this cooking for one for oneself is silly.

Sorry, is there a five-year-old, Who is getting up three times a night? Why?

He definitely needs to be checked out medically , go for some extra tests to eliminate IBS or coeliac or anything else.

Was waiting for someone to come along and say something like this, all the answers have been far too sensible so far.

It sounds like he is stressed and perhaps a bit depressed? I also wonder whether working from home 3 days a week is good for him? Maybe encouraging him to nap and mope about.

My husband is like this when he is stressed. Tired. Snappy and wants to be left alone in front of the tv. I honestly think his working from home is partlybto blame. He isn't out there and can ruminate on his stressors.

Maybe he isn't enjoying the current set up but doesn't realise it ? His job is probably pretty full on if he's on 90k. I think you need to talk to him. I'd also facilitate some changes. Suggest he goes out with friends once a week or reduces his hours?

For his IBS, whilst lentils are good, if he's eating lots of fruit and vegetables his diet may be too high in insoluble fibre, which can exacerbate a runny gut in IBS. He could try adding something like Psyllium husk which is a soluble fibre that slows down digestion

I got to “he’s vegan” and read no further. He’ll be lacking essential nutrients and that’s why he’s always tired!!

My husband 47 similar schedule regards work home etc he was so tired all the time couldn’t get through a day without a nap after blood tests he’s been diagnosed type 2 diabetic definitely encourage him to the doctors for tests could be many things causing exhaustion

@Wrenbirdwren does your DH always sleep in your room or does he sometimes go to a spare room for a 'better nights sleep'. The reason I ask this (and please don't be offended) is because I have two friends who experienced similar to what you're going through.
In both cases their DH was staying up late on the nights he was in a different room. One was talking drugs and watching porn, one was drinking and watching porn. Both were addicted to these online lives. Honestly for YEARS my friend had no idea why he slept in every morning, why he went back to bed for naps. She would never in a million years suspected it until she saw a bank statement and it all started to unravel.
I could be way off the mark but wanted to mention it as I think this is actually more common than people think.
A vegan diet alone is unlikely to be the issue. Vegan diets can be incredibly healthy if the person eats well. Bryan Johnson (the guy trying to reverse ageing) is incredibly healthy, is monitored daily for a whole range of health markers and his diet is totally plant based.

Your husband needs a check up at the doctors. Get his bloods done. I was just like him ..probably worse and l ended up being diagnosed with Hashimotos (Thyroid) and pernicious anemia. Few years of correct treatment and l have my life back. These things tend to sneak up on you and you get iller slowly but surely. He might also be needing iron. Please get him to the doctor.

The big dark circles and exhaustion are 100% inflammation from the IBS being triggered. My DH is the same. When he was like it all the time we didn't notice but now he has it mostly under control, the occasions he gets a trigger this is him for the next 24 hours. Totally exhausted. It's horrible. He needs to see a dietitian and proactively sort the IBS. It's really really misunderstood.

I think the 3x a night getting woken is the biggest issue, some people once they are woken once can't get back to sleep. DH is like this, if he is woken at 2 then he is awake from then onwards.

You should probably get him off the vegan diet too and onto something with more energy. As great as it is for saving the animals it just doesn't work for some people.

You have my massive sympathies. I hear about this way too much. T replacement should definitely be on the NHS because all men go through the andropause. It's really not fair to not be able to get the support your husband needs.

Sorry if this is a cliché, but could he be neurodiverse? Anxiety, exhaustion & difficulty participating in family life - needing to be alone. Restrictive patterns of behaviour/sensory issues in his choice of vegan diet. Rejecting changes to routine such as dropping down to 4 days a week.

Being autistic in a world not built for you is incredibly exhausting.

If he doesn't eat gluten then any coeliac blood test will come back negative. You have to be eating gluten at two meals a day, for six weeks, before the blood test.

The glaringly obvious issue here is he’s vegan. I’m assuming you have thought about this already?! He’s likely low in B12 for a start! Full blood panel needed

It's a good start, for sure. Relying on these tests delayed my diagnosis with IBD for a good few years.