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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lost my ring, handed in, pub denying so.

166 replies

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 08:35

So, 3 weeks ago on a rare night out I lost a ring (was just a tad tispy!). I phoned the pub, taxi etc the next morning but no joy.
Put an insurance claim in which is currently being processed.
Last night my DD found a FB post with a photo of my ring and a caption saying it had been handed into the bar the following afternoon of my visit.
I phoned the bar, and the manager (he said he hadn't been there long) looked, spoke to staff who said they knew nothing about it but there was another manager he could message and he'd ask them to phone me back.
Since then I've received a reply from the lady who handed it in with a description of the staff member and possible name.
If it doesn't reappear do I have any recourse? I'm sure the police won't be interested.
The ring is worth about £1,000.
AIBU to think I'll get it back?

OP posts:
GotSomeChipsAhoyIfYoureHungry · 15/11/2025 20:07

Placemarking for update!

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 20:06

Skodacool · 15/11/2025 20:01

In that case if the item is recovered and the insurance has paid out then technically the item belongs to the company. Of course you would want the ring back so you could repay whatever the insurance has paid to you.

They haven't paid out yet just offered an amount verbally which I've agreed.

OP posts:
Skodacool · 15/11/2025 20:01

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 11:54

The claim has been agreed but I'd rather have my ring back.

In that case if the item is recovered and the insurance has paid out then technically the item belongs to the company. Of course you would want the ring back so you could repay whatever the insurance has paid to you.

FuzzyWolf · 15/11/2025 19:31

I would see what the pub say but let them know you will be reporting it to the police as theft and provide them with the crime reference number to pass on to the member of staff who was given the ring.

PenguinTimtam · 15/11/2025 19:28

AlphaApple · 15/11/2025 08:44

I would send the information to your insurance company and then go to the bar and tell them that the insurance company is getting the police involved. Ask them if they have any CCTV.

If the lady who handed it in would agree to going with you at the same time that would be even better.

I can’t abide that level of dishonesty.

This.

keeponandonandon · 15/11/2025 19:25

I recently left a piece of jewellery at a well known budget hotel, I called them about half an hour later and they said it wasn't there. I debated going back later that day, the receptionist insisted it wasn't in the safe and had not been handed in, she told me she had spoken to housekeeping but they didn’t have it, she became really defensive. I told her I knew I left it there and I wasn't leaving until it was found, again she said it wasn't there so I told her its fine, I'm calling the police. The receptionist and the housekeeping supervisor was gone for no more than 2 minutes and guess what.....they miraculously found it in the laundry! Which was of course very strange as I had left it on tge dressing table! Given the hotel has over 100 rooms, I was surprised it was found so quickly and amongst all that dirty laundry...... I complained to Head Office but they were not interested.

PInkyStarfish · 15/11/2025 19:09

This happened to my step daughter’s diamond tennis bracelet. But the lovely woman who found it took a photo of the person she handed it in to without them knowing as well as a photo of the bracelet.

When my stepdaughter and her husband went in to get it back they didn’t mention the photo of the individual, just the photo of the bracelet and the chap in charge was quite adamant that none of his staff had seen the bracelet and was quite sniffy about it until he was confronted by the photo of himself and crumbled!

He tried to bluster his way out of it by saying he had forgotten and then it was extremely painful for him to admit that he had taken it home for safe keeping but would have it the next day.

Clearly he had given it to his wife or girlfriend and that must have been an awkward conversation having to take it back from them!

He had it the next day and was exceedingly smarmy offering them a bottle of plonk!

Report to the police even if they do nothing.

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 15/11/2025 18:58

Hopefully the person who found it has just put it somewhere and not told anyone, it's quite common. If they have pocketed it they may get a scare if you talk about the police and make it clear you have a description of the staff member. Theft by finding is indeed a criminal offence.

Seymour5 · 15/11/2025 18:54

I thought ‘theft by finding’ was a thing?. The police may take it up.

MILLYmo0se · 15/11/2025 18:44

It could well have been stolen but also could be that like so many places they don't have a specific place or system of logging and storing found items. You are depending on there being one central place it could have been put when handed in, and even if there is one someone chucks it in a random drawer meaning to bring it up to that office or wherever later but forgets, or if they realise it's a very expensive item they put it somewhere 'safer' but not everyone answering the phone or at the bar knows they did that.
I dropped my bank card in Primark and on checking for it the next day they had recorded in their lost/found log, I'd imagine a lot of things get accidentally left there from kids comforter to bank cards or jewellery, so they have a good system for nothing a description of what was found/by who/time of day and some identifying details eg the name on the card, but it wasn't where it should have been kept. After 2 more visits they then rang me to say it had turned up somewhere random in payroll office, I don't think anyone was trying to steal it, it just was mislaid.
Definitely go back and mention about police being involved, that ll wake them up enough to at least messege all staff about it so if it's been a mistake it can be cleared up and if not they can deal with police.

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 18:43

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 15/11/2025 18:39

I won't be at all surprised if, when you show the Facebook post and explain that your next stop is the police, the ring will quickly be "found"? Especially when you tell them the lady who handed it in knows who she have it to

I really do hope so. I'll update more when I've been in 😬

OP posts:
AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 18:41

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/11/2025 18:17

101 for non emergency police lovely 111 is for NHS, it's easy to get them mixed up

Thank you for that lol 😳

OP posts:
NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 15/11/2025 18:39

I won't be at all surprised if, when you show the Facebook post and explain that your next stop is the police, the ring will quickly be "found"? Especially when you tell them the lady who handed it in knows who she have it to

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/11/2025 18:17

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 17:58

Yes, you're all right. I'll phone 111 tomorrow for advice.

101 for non emergency police lovely 111 is for NHS, it's easy to get them mixed up

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 18:14

Controversiallyyours · 15/11/2025 18:08

Slightly different, but I lost a pair of glasses in a restaurant. I KNEW I'd left them there, as I had worn them to read the menu, and the restaurant was literally next door to hotel. I had to go back three times before the staff showed much interest in looking for them, but on the 3rd occasion a staff member piped up "oh yes, I saw those, they are in a drawer over there" ... so I would suggest you persist, and make sure plenty of staff at the pub see you and hear you, because it's possible they don't have much of a system for lost property. Good luck!

Thank you.

OP posts:
Controversiallyyours · 15/11/2025 18:08

Slightly different, but I lost a pair of glasses in a restaurant. I KNEW I'd left them there, as I had worn them to read the menu, and the restaurant was literally next door to hotel. I had to go back three times before the staff showed much interest in looking for them, but on the 3rd occasion a staff member piped up "oh yes, I saw those, they are in a drawer over there" ... so I would suggest you persist, and make sure plenty of staff at the pub see you and hear you, because it's possible they don't have much of a system for lost property. Good luck!

Lostuser · 15/11/2025 18:03

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 17:58

Yes, you're all right. I'll phone 111 tomorrow for advice.

I don’t think 111 will be much help

AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 18:00

Arlanymor · 15/11/2025 13:16

Definitely go back to the pub with the evidence you have and if they still cannot turn it up then tell them you'll be going to the police with the information you have.

Will do. Thank you for your support.

OP posts:
AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 17:58

CinnamonBuns67 · 15/11/2025 08:44

I think you will have to report it to the police even to just get a crime number or insurance company will do nothing for you. I'd potentially tell the manager that you are going to the police about it too, maybe it'll "reappear" if a staff member has had sticky fingers and realises there's potentially going to be consequences.

Yes, you're all right. I'll phone 111 tomorrow for advice.

OP posts:
AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 17:56

AlphaApple · 15/11/2025 08:44

I would send the information to your insurance company and then go to the bar and tell them that the insurance company is getting the police involved. Ask them if they have any CCTV.

If the lady who handed it in would agree to going with you at the same time that would be even better.

I can’t abide that level of dishonesty.

Another great idea. I had planned to advise my insurers too of this development but I will tell the bar they'll be investigating further.

OP posts:
AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 17:51

IvedoneitagainhaventI · 15/11/2025 08:44

Have you contacted the pub again since you received the description and possible name from the honest lady who found it?
It should be in the pub's interest to pursue this as having a dishonest member of staff is a liability for them.

If they refuse to pursue it I would definitely report it to the police .

Edited

I phoned today but they didn't pick-up so I'm going in tomorrow when it's less busy.

OP posts:
AJLOAL · 15/11/2025 17:11

Adelle79360 · 15/11/2025 12:31

I think you need to make contact with the bar again and say the person who handed the ring has provided info and the person is described as x, y and z, and can they specifically ask them about it? Tell them you’ll need to report it to the police. It’s worth a try.

I'm going to go in tomorrow when it's quieter. Obviously I have photos of me wearing the ring to prove its mine, even from the night I lost it.
I've also emailed their HO and asked what their lost & found policy is for items of value. I don't imagine the police would help but asking about the CCTV is a good shout. Thank you.

OP posts:
ElizabethsTailor · 15/11/2025 13:22

MargaretThursday · 15/11/2025 13:12

Wouldn't necessarily know though.

Person hands ring in to person A on day 1.

Someone sees it on FB and goes and claims it from person B on day 2.

Person C is asked who wasn't at work day 1 and 2 and says they haven't seen it.

Or the person put it in the till, when it should have gone in the safe and when Op came they only looked in the safe etc.
My mil when she had dementia lost her handbag. She went and asked at Customer Services who had the whole lost property out, and the lost property safe emptied - I was with her. No sign.
I asked if there was another safe for money - and there it was. I'm confident that was an error rather than wanting to keep it - it was a cheap bag and her purse wasn't in it.

It's also possible that the good Samaritan who posted it on FB actually kept it, and put it on FB as verisimilitude because she was seen finding it.

It's also possible that the good Samaritan who posted it on FB actually kept it, and put it on FB as verisimilitude because she was seen finding it.

I was thinking this was a possibility. Worth asking to check CCTV.

Arlanymor · 15/11/2025 13:16

Definitely go back to the pub with the evidence you have and if they still cannot turn it up then tell them you'll be going to the police with the information you have.

MargaretThursday · 15/11/2025 13:12

Adelle79360 · 15/11/2025 12:32

This could happen but the bar appear to have told OP they never had the ring, not that it was handed in and they’ve given it back to the wrong person.

Wouldn't necessarily know though.

Person hands ring in to person A on day 1.

Someone sees it on FB and goes and claims it from person B on day 2.

Person C is asked who wasn't at work day 1 and 2 and says they haven't seen it.

Or the person put it in the till, when it should have gone in the safe and when Op came they only looked in the safe etc.
My mil when she had dementia lost her handbag. She went and asked at Customer Services who had the whole lost property out, and the lost property safe emptied - I was with her. No sign.
I asked if there was another safe for money - and there it was. I'm confident that was an error rather than wanting to keep it - it was a cheap bag and her purse wasn't in it.

It's also possible that the good Samaritan who posted it on FB actually kept it, and put it on FB as verisimilitude because she was seen finding it.