I’ve been married twice and didn’t ask either MIL to my hen do

I think this is blunt. As long has OP has the same attitude going foward at future family gatherings.

My hen do was a meal and boozy night out with my friends, followed by clubbing. No relatives/future relatives at all, just my mates.
They all did similar-this was back in the days before anyone went abroad or had really fancy hens.

One of my SIL’s had a more sedate do with her Mum and Auntie there. I can’t remember whether her MIL was there tbh.

Anyway, I find the headlines sad, the family is obviously divided and people are upset. I think he’ll regret not having them at his wedding. IMO, Gordon needs to intervene and sort them out the way he does in failing restaurants-swear profusely and tell them to get on with it.

Seriously, I think he could sort this.

OK, so totally different to this situation where FIL was invited to stag but MIL wasn't invited to the hen then

Thankfully I get on with my DIL and went to everything including dress shopping and hen do

Yes

So you invited your Mil and SILs to your hen also then? Or no?

My MIL was invited to all things wedding! Venue hunting, wedding dress shopping, my hen do etc. I wouldn’t dream of not inviting her to my hen do.

It never would have occurred to me to invite my MIL to look at wedding dresses. That was a really special thing that I did with my Mum…it wouldn’t have been the same with my MIL there. I don’t dislike her but it would have completely changed the dynamic. You’re very entitled to think that it was your place to be there. Neither my Mum or MIL were invited to my Hen do either…they wouldn’t have wanted to come!

Sorry no, just because you dont involve your family or in laws in every aspect of your lives doesn't mean you don't have good family relationships
My MIL - she is a lovely person very kind and generous, the best in the world, but she is in her 80's and wouldn't have been able for the travel let alone what we did for my hen party, she really enjoyed the afternoon tea i arranged instead that was close to home and not as loud ect , more appropriate

My own mother is very very opiniated and i just didn't want her at my wedding dress shopping with me,i am also quite decisive and know what i like, she wouldn't have liked what i picked and i know she didn't when she saw it on my wedding day but its what i wanted and i loved it
We spend time with each other at xmas birthdays ect i just dont think its appropriate for mil or mother to be at a hen party

I love my MIL. She didn't come to my hen party. Even if I had invited her, I don't think a weekend in a youth hostel and paintballing were quite her thing. (Or my mothers).

I've never known MIKs to be invited, and own mothers m, aunts etc only 50% of time at most. They were for the brides friends, not every female at the wedding.

Same with stag parties... grooms friends.

DH invited his DF, my DF and his brothers in law to his stag do. Both the hen and stag were family events.

No concerns over family relationships here - just that my understanding my of hen parties is that they’re for the bride and her mates to have a bit of a party together. I also didn’t want a load of people wedding dress shopping with me, that sounds like hell. First time round I took my mum, second time round my best mate.

Yours is different. Not better, just different. But you’re just making up that people don’t get on with their relations because of this.

But did your partner invite your dad to his stag? I think that's a big part of the issue, his famous rich FIL could go to the stag but his mum couldn't go to the hen

If you’ve spent any time on MN you must know that not everyone has a warm and happy relationship with their MIL, or indeed their mother! But also I don’t think it’s weird for a hen do to be a party for the bride’s generation - friends, sisters, cousins, SILs but not mothers, MILs, aunts or grandmothers. That was certainly the norm for all my friends.

I can only assume that family relationships aren’t good for many posters. It never entered my head not to invite my DMil,DM, DSis and DSil to my hen party and wedding dress shopping. They are all lovely people who I enjoy spending time with. The majority of our Christmas celebrations over the last 25 years have been spent with both sides of the family even though it involves long haul flights.

Well that’s a hell of a weird take.
Leaving aside the fact that many brides wouldn’t pick their MIL to socialise with by choice, of all the hen dos I’ve ever been to (between about 2005-2015) off the top of my head I can only remember one to which the older generation (Mum & MIL) were invited - and that was just for the afternoon bit. They were all about letting your hair down a bit, chatting, dancing, drinking (those who weren’t pregnant which was always a thing at later hen dos).
Making polite conversation with parents and grandparents is for the wedding, not the hen!

@Northernladdette i first joined 20 years ago. The vindictiveness is now next level.

Welcome to Mumsnet, where mean is the norm 🙄

Bloody serve him right if his ex stopped him seeing the son for a while.
Sake, he just a swimmer at the end of the day.
Holly's done sod all just relied on being her father's daughter, she'd go well with Romeo Beckham.

Rowdy why does your hen do need to be rowdy?

It absolutely was not a dig about her son. It was a genuine question. I’ve seen countless MIL threads, ‘upset’ about not being invited or included in XYZ activity, yet never one complaint about not being invited to her son’s suit fitting. Her own child.
The motivation of the post was not to be mean but was to provoke situational empathy. If you DD was the bride, would you be begging her to include MIL in intimate moments like dress choosing? Why aren’t you ‘upset’ with your son to the same degree for not including you in the choosing of the suit? No more, no less.

Well his mum’s just proved them right not to invite her by giving an interview to the Mail. She clearly can’t judge how to behave or conduct herself in the world her son is living in thanks to his sporting success (which she clearly supported). I have some sympathy for his mum but she’s not behaved well and she’s probably just hammered in the final nail herelf.

I don’t think it’s just about that though. There’s been a lot of nastiness aimed at his family
generally (allegedly) with Holly insisting his mum can’t wear her £40 dress. The whole situation stinks of Adam getting far too big for his boots. He’s a working class kid marrying into an incredibly wealthy family and I think he’s got swept away by it all. I think he’ll regret it when they divorce.

Would love to know if he still sees his DS much.

I had 2 hen do’s , one was a very tame afternoon tea at a hotel, my mum and MIL came to that . They wouldn’t have attended the ‘boozy’ weekend away