Childminders at soft play

Honestly I’ve seen so many things like this that is absolutely never use a childminder.

We constantly had this at my local softplay. But the worst was at playgroups. Too busy planning nights out together or on their phones to actually know what the children were up to. I’ve seen children under their care hitting and lkicking eachother without intervention, saw a boy fall and bang his head pretty badly and the childminder had no idea what happened or how this boy had hurt himself.

I stopped going to one group because the childminders were solid h a PITA. This group took place in 2 rooms and you couldn’t see one room from the other If that makes sense. One day it was me as a sole adult with my dd and almost all of the versions childminders children while the childminders sat on the sofas in the other room. I had their children asking me where their parents were, saying they’d done a poo and fighting. I had to go get the childminders several times but still not one of them though to come and stay and keep an eye on the children, just stayed on the sofas chatting away. I stopped going as I thought I’m not the one being paid to watch these kids.

So no I’d absolutely not trust them. Sorry to any decent childminders reading this.

What a judgemental, twatty take.

For reference, I am not a childminder, a nanny nor do I work in a nursery.

What a small minded point of view you have.

I disagree with nursery workers failing their GCSEs. A few yes I agree with and to be honest you can mostly tell which girls these are. My old nursery had a few arrive but left after a few months. Others you can really tell they just love children, a few at my current nursery are studying a degree in children’s education to eventually come out of nursery’s and go into teaching or something else.

The same with Nannie’s. I’ve always wfh or been a sahm for the last decade and always had a nanny throughout. I couldn’t believe the stuff they did when I was around and always think of those kids under sole care of a nanny.

@Hollygolightly89 I remember one of the boys in the group was always crying. At the soft play, library, park. It made me really sad. One day I was in Tesco and I saw this child with his mum and he wasn’t crying. I almost couldn’t place him because he was so different. I had one of those snap decision moments - do I say anything? I decided not to. Because the mum didn’t know me. And all I would be doing by saying something is giving her another problem. Another job. Giving her the dilemma and putting it on her mind. So I didn’t say anything. After all, the child is fed. Is warm. Is taken out. ‘Just’ ignored

i remember at those play group events, if anyone ever saw a toddler with so much snot hanging from their nose it had clearly been there for ages, you would automatically send them to the group of childminders chatting away for a tissue.

The exact reason why I didn’t use a childminder. During maternity leave I spent some time at our local playgroups to get a feel of the childminders and I wouldn’t have let a dog with them. Whenever I have been at group events where nursery groups have turned up the level of care and security around them is so different.

Look, I’ve had 3 children of my own. They do need a level of supervision. These were children from around 8 months to 4 years. The little ones, you have to keep an eye on incase they get tramped on or get into something they shouldn’t, the older ones are usually having a barney over sharing or trying to lamp each other.

The do need to be looked after. Dumping them on one side of the hall and then sitting on the other side, chatting away and paying no attention to them doesn’t cut it.

I am far from a perfect parent. The days I couldn’t be arsed to supervise to make sure they didn’t eat glitter, launch themselves off a slide or whack another child over the head with a toy, I didn’t take them.

But when I was running the groups, I saw a hell of a lot of CMs who regularly couldn’t be arsed to supervise or interact, or comfort when there was an accident or upset. There was no teaching how to share, how to behave when eating (not to run around the room with food). Not great when you are being paid to care for children.

They are only professionals because they are not the child's parent and they are being paid. That's as professional as child minders get. All the ones I knew when my children were small were thick and doing it because they had small children and needed to be paid for doing something. Nursery workers are the girls who failed their GCSEs but are just about capable of looking after a baby, children minders are mainly appalling. One day people will wake up and realise what they are doing with their precious child

The problem is this is obviously pretty common as so many people have seen something similar. There is such massive variation across child minders it totally put me off that as an option. I used my nursery for 5-6 years across that time and there was of course variation- largely down to how effective the manager was but there was visibility so when the manager was struggling, it was noticed.

Yes I’ve seen this a lot at toddler groups and soft plays. It’s one of the reasons we went with nursery for our two DCs rather than a childminder, even though nursery is more expensive. Whenever I’ve gone into the nursery kids are happy, being played with by multiple staff, lovely activities, songs, stories and great food cooked on site. Whenever I’ve seen childminders they’ve been talking to themselves and ignoring their kids, kids running unnoticed or unhappy and being ignored. I’m sure there are some great childminders I just haven’t seen any myself.

Yeah but the issue is many of us have seen the children’s carers NOT observing. Not intervening with regards to poor behaviour. Not changing their soiled nappies. Not having a handle on whereabouts in the room they are. Not supervising eating or drinking or messy activities involving glue and small parts. Not comforting an injured/distressed child.

To dress any of that up as ‘teaching independence’ is simply misguided and lazy. Of course you should let them play, but you’re meant to be totally responsible for them, and preferably as soon as they need you not when you’ve finished your convo/eaten another custard cream.

I remember starting a thread like this and got torn apart but I completely agree! There is a soft play I took my DS to. The childminders went on the same morning as me. Got the children in and then it was gossip time.
No care, no affection, no time or attention. Literally ignored for the entire session, dumped in the buggy and off at the end. I was shocked in the beginning but it became a pattern I observed over the years. Once we started school I became friends with one of the mums of these children. Literally sang the childminder’s praises! Had no idea. All she saw was the photos, of which they made sure they took many…

I was a childminder for 21 years.
I didn't go to soft play centres unless I had only one child in my care as it is too difficult to properly supervise multiple children in that environment; particularly if they are a range of ages.
I belonged to a childminders group which I ended up leaving because they said I thought I was better than them. This was due to the fact that I supervised my charges properly when out at toddler groups, rather than sit a d gossip with them. I always ensured that those with additional needs were entertained sufficiently when we were out together as group; to ensure they didn't cause problems or inadvertently hurt smaller children. The other childminders stopped speaking to me and no longer included me in group outings. I was puzzled as to why, until I asked one who I was friends with outside of childminding. She told me. I was not going to change my ways to be like them so started going to different groups by myself.

That's what playgroups are for. The children are playing in an enclosed area and you get a break.
Doesn't matter you are a parent or a paid professional. You're there to help them, resolve any issue they might have but you let them do their own thing.
They are building their confidence, making new friends, trying new things.
Nothing wrong with just sitting and observing as long as you know when your children are.

For balance I do also think that learning to entertain yourself is an important skill that some children won't learn if they are constantly followed around and interacted with.

Hmm is the CM meant to be behind every kid climbing up a slide? Or hovering behind some craft making. ? I understand what people are saying but I think some people have ridiculous expectations. For example in the church hall type place the idea is that you have a cuppa while the child plays , not you trail around after them.

So the " accidents" you saw could they have been prevented if a parent was there in the room ( not hovering behind child)

I’ve no issue with that either but I don’t want my child at some shitty soft play several times a week and I wouldn’t want to send my child somewhere that did.

The phone use when eating is particularly bad practice. New guidance for early years is that children should be supervised (as in eyes facing children not phone!) at all times when eating by a peadiatric first aider.

My oldest sons childminder was absolutely dreadful. She once text me to tell me my son couldn't go to hers if he hadn't slept the night before and hadnt had breakfast. My children always have breakfast and the reason he wasn't sleeping at night is because she was letting him nap for 5 hours in the daytime!! She also sat and chatted, didnt bother him the dcs except her own ones. She thought her kids were wonderfully behaved although her son was hurting the mindees. He scratched my son badly once. She tried to say he was dropped off with a huge red scratch down his cheek (he wasnt). I sacked her and took a different job. I believe another parent did the same not long afterwards.

My middle child and youngest kids childminder was fabulous. I actually planned to put my middle child into nursery after my experience with dc1 childminder but then met this childminder at playgroups etc. She was so engaged with the charges and they all loved her. After seeing this for a few week's I found out she had a space coming up so booked her.

You take kids to places like this precisely because the kids can run off and entertain themselves with other kids. It’s fun for kids and a break for the parent /carer from the one to one time you give the children at home, enabling the parent/carer to chat to other adults.

I'm confident that the nursery I used was better. It had windows you could see into from the corridors before you reached the room, so you could have a good look at what was going on. The staff were always engaged and busy with the kids.

That said, I did visit some nurseries I wouldn't have left my child at for anything. There are some shit ones.