Childminders at soft play

I used to go to a playgroup where a bunch of childminders would sit in the canteen part bitching nattering and let the kids run wild.

One time I saw a kid around 3 kick a baby the childminder was meant to be caring for in the head! Poor baby screamed and childminder was nowhere in sight. Someome had to run and get her and she didn’t seem at all bothered.

Same childminder used to shove the kids in highchairs in the canteen with the tablet on and pass them around cold chicken nuggets 😷

Since then I always vowed I would never use a childminder. At least at private daycare they have cctv. Having said that I’ve heard some horror stories from them too.

Exactly, I would never use a childminder. The whole setup of being in someone’s home just puts me right off.
A nursery where there are rules, so many eyes about, and also a recourse should there be an issue just gives me more comfort. I’ve been a mix of wfh and sahp so have a good perspective of how these childminders and Nannies work. They meet up with kids who are friends of theirs, sit around chatting in groups. I’ve even seen some in the store doing grocery shopping with the kids!

I had a true gem of a nanny who already raised her kids and she told me something that just sums it up. She asked me to think of it like this. ‘ if I have young kids of my own, why would I be here caring for your kids when all I want is to do it for my own. You are just a job and paycheck to me. All these Nannie’s ‘who love your kids soo much’ it’s fake. It’s a job that’s it.

You would be surprised. Just the other day I saw a really sad picture - in Pret in Marylebone High Street, an aged childminder, obviously from Eastern Europe (they have the best reputation because older, better educated, etc.) was ignoring the child so badly! She was in her late 50s and glued to the phone, first talking in Czech/Bulgarian etc. (?) on the phone and then just glued to the phone, reading something on it. The child was trying to reach her with his/her hands, attracting attention, but she drew the hood of the pram up, turned the pram around so that her charge was facing away from her and continued ignoring him/her. Very sad because it went on for ages after her coffee was finished.

I see what you are saying, ideally we would all be sahms/sahds and looking after our children, but we have to work and rely on childminders, who are not at all dedicated to our children. The best we can hope for is that they don't mistreat our children or don't ignore them too much.

In the area I am this isn't uncommon. Some are too busy chatting.

Many are awful. I adore my childminder - I see her out with other kids when I have days off with mine and she's just brilliant with them. You have to be very careful.

I doubt they’ll be any childminders left in 5 years time. Schools and large chains will take over the entire childcare business. My local school now takes children from age 2.
it’s a shame because I know this is a c/m bashing thread but there’s some wonderful ones out there, & many parents prefer them.
But the choice will be gone soon.

I used an unregistered childminder. She lived in a large flat but as she only had one exit to the house couldn't register. She was a trained nurse. She was fabulous - to the extent DCs much preferred to be with her when they were ill rather than me. She treated them like her own children - picnics, days out, dropping and picking up at activities. When I was held up due to an RTA on the road she took my DCs home and got them ready for bed. I was a single parent - no way could I have worked without her support.

I used to get such abuse from the registered childminders - who regularly left the kids in their care in their cars while they nipped into the shops or chatted on the street.

I don’t disagree with you OP but parents are often no better when they are on school trips. I’m a teacher and we’ve had briefings with parents about expectations on trips, they’ve signed code of conduct forms to say they will not be on their phones and will interact with their child and help educate their small groups they are allocated. Unfortunately many when there is downtime (on a coach, in the park, at museums, on beach) are on their phones scrolling not for 5 minutes but half hour or more. I’m not talking about taking an urgent work call either. Sad and frustrating.

I absolutely know there are good childminders out there (as seen by some of this thread) who love and nature their kids are well trained and hard working.

But I agree with your first statement absolutely. I've seen so many times on here that nurseries are leading to children becoming "institutionalised" (by people who know nothing about what institutional care actually is) and that children going to nursery is the sole reason for the poor mental crisis amongst young people. Complete ignoring factors such as a lack of freedom amongst young people now, rise in social media and the cut to public services. And that it would also be impossible to provide any research into this because you would need to have a group of children who had the exact same home life, exact same experiences of friendship, school and all other aspects of life where the only difference is whether they went to nursery or not to enable it to show whether it made a difference to mental health or not and of course this is impossible to do.

What do you mean beauticians, hair dressers or dog groomers aren’t careers - they literally choose to do them as a career and many people are very successful.

Most make decent money, have the opportunity to be their own boss and open multiple businesses, get tips and they don’t need to spend thousands going to uni - I don’t think they should be looked down upon when they have probably made better decisions than many people who’s chosen a more professional career.

I don't look down on them. Looking after other people is vital and takes skills. If people were paid what they were worth, and what they contribute, they would earn more than bankers. But I'm not in charge of society.

Not surprised either. I have also only met one child minder who I would let look after my kids. She was out walking with four of them pushing a buggy incase anyone was tired and also walking her dog. The kids/toddlers were doing a combination of walking, cycling on those tiny balance bikes and resting. They stopped to have a picnic on the outdoor tables. She didn’t play on her phone once. She was pretty, kind, extremely calm and nice to the kids/toddlers who calmly took own litter to the bin when finished or when asked with no kick offs.

I said to her you look like you have your hands full she said yes they aren’t mine I am a childminder (mine are all grown up now).

I had one who would lock the toys away, dd didn't stay long there.
In comparison, I had one who set her while attic up as a Nursery, and another who I'm still friends with 17 years on, she's a teacher now.
In my experience, the best ones did a few years while their own kids were youngish then continued to progress their careers, another I had is now a community midwife. Toy-lock-away-er is still a cm.

I really hate this narrative that just because someone isn’t academically capable that they are thick and that somehow equals poor behaviour.

Knowing the ins and outs of Romeo and Juliet or photosynthesis, has absolutely no bearing on whether someone is a decent person or well they can do their job.

There are lots of people, especially nursery workers, who choose to work with kids because they love them and they do a better job than people who are more qualified and think that sort of work is beneath them.

Some childminders do it so that they can stay home with their own kids and not have to get a proper job.
But some do it because they love children and would rather be their own boss than work for a company.

In the past I have thought about being a childminder and I have also worked in rescue centres. I am intelligent and did it purely because I really wanted to. I only don’t do these sorts of jobs because they are low paid and unfortunately the bills come first.

But even if they lack qualifications, these jobs require skills and training that I as a degree educated person couldn't do.

I'm not sure if you meant it in your post, but I can't stand the looking down on women or that their jobs aren't as valuable or are "less than" because they don't require a degree. I certainly couldn't hack being a childminder looking after kids all day long. And I certainly require the skills of a hairdresser! Many people choose to pursue these jobs due a love or passion in the area. Let's not start looking down on them just because they don't have a degree.

Same here at all the playgroups I go to - I would never use a childminder for this reason

I was going to say, I’ve seen many threads like this and they can go either way, depending on who happens to post.

I don’t understand posters saying that parents do this too.
That’s irrelevant.

If you’re paying someone to do a service, you expect them to do it properly.

Even if you were watching someone’s kids for free, you would still be more on the ball than if it was your own kid.

My childminder was awful when it came to being on her phone.
This was back when Facebook and candy crush was more of a thing and it would log when she was playing. She would also constantly posts on her Facebook and share things on it.
She was awful but I was a single mum and desperate and no other childcare was available.
If I could go back in time and change things then I would because I can’t believe I actually used her.

I think perhaps it is partly as you were at soft play.

I take my children to soft play when they have more energy than me and need to blow off some steam! I only follow the youngest (just turned 2, but will do her damndest to follow big siblings into the 5+ area if I blink!). I see child minders who are also there to let their charges blow off steam, and yes, they tend to be having a good natter with each other. I dont think chatting is a problem as they often still have an eye on the younger ones. On phones would be a different matter as it means youre looking down.

I go to other groups as well, some of which I've been at for 9 years (ive got 4 DC, so not the same child throughout). Where there is a specific activity e.g. bounce and rhyme at the library the childminders are fully interacting and singing along/closely supervising. For the church group they have a good chat during the free play phase, but then they do the singing/stories/crafts in a very engaged way.

I have a nanny rather than a childminder (because I have multiple DC) and I suggest (and pay for) activities for her to attend with DC. I dont mind the occasional tript to soft play though, where I assume she'll have a more relaxed time.

I assume those people with a childminder have discussed activities with them?

This makes me sad. I was a childminder for 16 years. I absolutely loved it and only stopped due to Covid meaning families were unable to attend. I treated children in my care the same as I would my own and also took them to a variety of groups and activities. I never had to advertise as I was very visable in the community and families booked spaces that way. I am still in contact with many families and some of the children are now parents themselves.
Sadly I did see poor practice from others. There was a post put on a local facebook group showing a photo of 2 childminders sat on their phones not engaging with children. You can report concerns to Ofsted if you can get the names of a childminder you have concerns about.

It doesn't surprise me, sadly. I've seen the same thing often over the years.
The defense of this is weird too. You wouldn't excuse a teacher for doing a shoddy job just because some parents do, in fact plenty of you would be foaming at the mouth. Childminders are being paid to actually take care of children, interact with them and nurture them.

Whilst that's wrong, parents aren't being paid, nor are they Ofsted rated.

I saw this at a local toddler group. A wee boy (1ish) was crying and the childminder made a fool of him and then laughed and joked about him to anyone who would listen. Never made any attempt to comfort the poor boy. Was too busy chatting to other childminders. It was awful. I made it clear I was disgusted by them but also wish I done more - not sure what.