Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To allow DD to buy this 'obscene' top?

390 replies

maggie2k · 14/11/2025 23:35

DD14 just lost 10kg, went down from 62 to 52kg (she's pretty petite, only 160 cm tall) and wants to buy herself this top since she's now at a healthy weight for her age and was putting off buying new tops earlier because she didn't want them to stop fitting her: https://www.victoriassecret.co.uk/style/su826145/w96067

My sister thinks it's 'obscene' and a 'lingerie ad' as well as 'something she saw on social media' which is complete nonsense because she uses one of those granny flip phones and isn't on social media except discord, spotify and IRC (no idea if those count)

I don't see the problem honestly, there's nothing obscene about lingerie if you ask me in the 1st place, and VS has always made clothes

This is a photo of the top in the colour she wants it:

To allow DD to buy this 'obscene' top?
OP posts:
OhBobbins · 15/11/2025 18:49

The top is fine! Remember how massive Playboy clothing was for teenage girls in the 2000s and that was arguably worse than VS. I get your sister's argument about the sexualisation of young teens (if that is what she's talking about) and I agree, but that's a lesson you learn in time and adults telling teenagers what not to wear won't stop them wanting the clothes. It won't be a problem for long anyway as given the quality, the diamantes will likely fall off after a few washes (not slating the top - just the cheap manufacturing)!

If you have a minute, look up the song 'Victoria's Secret' by Jax. Gets stuck in my head everytime I see the logo and a great message about body positivity.

Whyamiherenow · 15/11/2025 18:44

It is clothes. Clothes aren’t obscene. There are no swear words. It’s fine

soundsys · 15/11/2025 18:44

MincePudding · 15/11/2025 00:02

It's sooooooo tacky, but in exactly the way that makes it cool to teens and not middle aged women! We are SO not the demographic! Let her have her youth x

Exactly this! Would I wear it? no, but I'm not the demographic. It's a lot less obsence than some stuff we wore back in the day! I wouldn't have an issue with my daughter wearing it to school (also non-uniform). I mean, I think it's tacky but being a teenager is about bad fashion choices so let them crack on, I say!

Bunny65 · 15/11/2025 18:42

It looks fine to me, your sister is being ridiculous.

Wordsmithery · 15/11/2025 18:40

DS should butt out. She's being ridiculous and quite honestly it's none of her business anyway.

MumWifeOther · 15/11/2025 18:34

maggie2k · 14/11/2025 23:57

What's shocking about it?

Show quote history

Absolutely nothing besides making this a thing!?

Paperinthewashingmachine · 15/11/2025 17:50

I too share the sentiment of your sister being bat shit! Victoria's secrets isn't just underwear anymore, it's fragrances etc I have 2 DD 17 and 14- I would say this t-shirt is absolutely fine!!!!

Zempy · 15/11/2025 17:44

Your sister is batshit. I say that as a woman in her sixties.

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/11/2025 17:39

It's hardly obscene.

notacooldad · 15/11/2025 17:28

Why did she need body spray?
Same reason I did about 50 years ago. Because I was growing up and was exploring new things and ikea to feel a little bit grown up and wanted my own stuff instead of using my mums.

Why not?

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/11/2025 17:20

maggie2k · 14/11/2025 23:47

I tend to misread those

Show quote history

You don't say

pointythings · 15/11/2025 17:13

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/11/2025 17:07

Why did she need body spray?

Show quote history

Because it smells nice and she liked it?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/11/2025 17:07

Katemax82 · 15/11/2025 14:10

There's nothing wrong with it. My daughter got a Victoria's secret body spray in her stocking last year. She was 11

Why did she need body spray?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 15/11/2025 17:03

notacooldad · 15/11/2025 16:19

they're a gross brand in the way they market, the way their models have been treated and their general approach but I'd just give her full awareness so she knows what she's buying into.

You could say that about most brands that the average teen is going to be in to and can afford is gross one way or another. Is op supposed to give a lecture on ethics when teenager goes into town and buys something from Primark for example.

I guess?

notacooldad · 15/11/2025 16:19

they're a gross brand in the way they market, the way their models have been treated and their general approach but I'd just give her full awareness so she knows what she's buying into.

You could say that about most brands that the average teen is going to be in to and can afford is gross one way or another. Is op supposed to give a lecture on ethics when teenager goes into town and buys something from Primark for example.

avocadotofu · 15/11/2025 15:48

IMO it’s totally fine and your sister is being ridiculous!

MaloryJones · 15/11/2025 15:19

Nothing wrong in it imo
YANBU

Baconbuttymad · 15/11/2025 15:12

It’s not revealing or anything

Classycollab · 15/11/2025 15:11

Nothing wrong with the top, I’ve got a 15yr old and would let her wear it

maybein2022 · 15/11/2025 15:10

Haven’t RTFT. The t shirt is fine. I’d keep an eye on further weight loss though. This is how my daughter’s anorexia started, wanting to lose weight to be ‘healthier.’ Slippery slope sometimes. It’s probably not that but I just wanted to mention.

SpinningaCompass · 15/11/2025 15:08

maggie2k · 14/11/2025 23:45

I thought it was just a pretty boring normal top! She's been lately shopping a lot, landed herself a weekend job at a garden centre, brandy melville hollister and subdued seem to be her favourite and they all look pretty tacky to me honestly

Show quote history

Those are my teenage daughter's 3 favourite shops as well ... it's what they wear 😂

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 15/11/2025 14:50

I don't think it makes me think of lingerie at all, they're a gross brand in the way they market, the way their models have been treated and their general approach but I'd just give her full awareness so she knows what she's buying into. It's not inappropriate, and honestly, anyone looking at a 14 yr old, in a grey t shirt and thinking of lingerie purely because of those tiny rhinestones- well the issue isn't the 14 year old is it!! I wouldn't encourage it/buy it myself but definitely wouldn't ban it either.

Beesandhoney123 · 15/11/2025 14:49

Threefullskips · 15/11/2025 14:10

Obviously this, I can't believe we're this far into the thread and this is what's having to be spelled out

Show quote history

Are men really so up on underwear brands they would see that ordinary grey t shirt with its tiny logo in rhinestones and become uncontrollable wild stallions? How bloody insulting to everyone.

Vs marketing is not that amazing you know. Its pretty, nice and not expensive. Perfect.

Beesandhoney123 · 15/11/2025 14:31

What has your sister got to do with it whether your dd buys the top? Does she need her permission?

Having a dd of similar age myself, I was anticipating some kind of silky hanky masquerading as a top.

It's a grey lounge t shirt. It has the brand on it. If M&S did this, would your sister be so disproving?:)

They might do the joggers to match, so a really nice comfy lounge/ pop out outfit for your Dd. It's her money.

Mind your sister, round your dd. She sounds as if she'll crush your dd becoming independent and being able to buy a t shirt all on her own without worrying about what people think.

Hellohelga · 15/11/2025 14:26

I think it’s fine - just a grey tee with rhinestones.

Swipe left for the next trending thread