Should we investigate adhd assessment or anti depressants for my ds19

Exactly and having had children whose mental illness wasn’t treated sooner enough and ended up getting massively worse due to being untreated it’s clear the concerns re under diagnosis are valid.

He sounds very similar to my son. He had a few problems socially in school and was diagnosed with ASD when he was 15. Flew through his GCSEs on about 60% attendance doing no work at all. We moved him to a different school for sixth form and he struggled with his A levels. He missed his university offer by two grades, but was lucky that they offered him a place anyway.

He took a gap year between School and University and did essentially nothing for the first six months, then got a very part time job.

We had an ADHD assessment for him during his gap year and he started meds just before he started University in September. He's at a local University and lives at home. He is enjoying his course, but is finding it challenging - he has needed quite a lot of help to get his first two assignments done. Currently we are still waiting for DSA, which I think might help. The meds don't seem to have made his autistic traits worse and he is definitely more motivated than he was during his A levels. Socially, he's really enjoying himself.

It sounds as if your son might be burning out to me. I would probably try and get a combined ASD/ADHD assessment and Go from there - would he consider restarting University next year to give him some time out to recover and get started on meds if he does have ADHD?

Good luck. I think too many neurodiverse people are out on SSRIs when they aren't the right thing. The right treatment for neurodiversity is reasonable adjustments/support and ADHD meds if relevant

If you click the link you can have access to the depression scale and use it

ADHD isn’t mental illness.

There is no widespread agreement on the extent of overdiagnosis.

Experts including the President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, state that severe mental illnesses are still under-recognized and underdiagnosed, and that early diagnosis is crucial for preventing more complex, lifelong conditions.

You have pretty much proved my point.

I don’t really see the point of this thread as you only want 1 answer which will in your eyes validate your actions.

The over diagnosis of mental health issues is at epidemic levels in the UK. In many cases parents are the biggest contributory factor.

I wasn’t in the slightest bit surprised to see you state you already medicate another DC.

I feel sorry for the children. They are being pushed down a path they really don’t need to go down.

ADHD route first port of call. They sound like they’re drowning without executive function. If you can, go private and get them on drugs - it at well be revolutionary

If you can diagnose, why can't others?

To me it very much looks like the mother here has Munchausen by proxy. Treatment should include high dosage medication.

The son just needs to learn that there isn't actually anything wrong with him. Of course he's asking for support - his mother is constantly telling him his brain isn't functioning normally

It’s horrible being judged by others who seem to think you are collecting diagnoses for fun, I have three sons who all have diagnoses. Only one is on meds.
DS2 has an NHS diagnosis of ASD but because he got straight As at High School and coped with Uni and is polite I know some people are a bit sceptical but they didn’t notice how awful primary school was for him, he developed mental and physical health problems no small child should have to deal with. They don’t refer children to CAMHs just because a parent is a bit of a worrier!
Providing scaffolding is like “ a stitch in time saves nine” I’d rather help when needed in the moment than pick up the pieces when they have been left to “ learn the hard way” because that is ultimately exhausting and demoralising for everyone.

Your son sounds like my son, definitely ND, a combo of ADHD/ASD with an element of PDA. Major difference being that DS1 always had at least some academic struggles and a miss match between potential and performance. He dropped out of school at the beginning of Fifth year so not even any Highers. Various routes and ideas were tried but nothing stuck and the only thing he had any traction with was semi pro gaming! He basically mostly stayed in his room on and off for years managing some part time work with a lot of help and prodding from us. Very sloth like and passive and often very low mood, I really worried.
the thing that made a difference was an ADHD diagnosis ( private) and meds, it was like he had the mental energy to tackle things for the first time, passed his driving test, went to college to do access course and HNC, progressed to uni and is now in fourth year. Still needs scaffolding ( lives at home) but has sorted out all his disability accommodations himself. He is older though, 27 now. He burnt out every time he tried things when younger and without meds ( eg he joined the Navy at 18 but couldn’t stick it past basic training). Couldn’t have managed uni at 18 even if he had the entry requirements.
Meds aren’t without issues but made a massive difference to performance and mood.
he’s still a bit of a tricky character and it will be good to have a break when he finally moves out but I’m proud of how he’s come on and that we’ve got a decent relationship with him as an adult after all the tribulations.
started this post in the small hours, waking up at night worrying has become a rather ingrained habit!

Your neurobabble is relentless. How can any young man flourish when his mother is constantly seeking diagnoses on his behalf? There is no sense of his agency in your posts.

Yes just ignore it. You do get more responses on yabu. You will always get back up from those of us with actual experience rather than conspiracy theories.