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AIBU?

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To avoid PTA raffle

58 replies

Caulifleur · 14/11/2025 14:50

We have a fabulous pta which works hard and raises loads of money.

I know there are perks of being senior PTA but at my dc primary school there is sometimes a feelings of “dividing the spoils” at the end of an event like a school fair or bbq. I always feel a bit uncomfortable and I’ve stopped helping out at clear-up.

Recently there was a lovely raffle at an event. PTA said they’d hold the draw at the end. I stayed to clear up. But they waited til everyone left then let their kids draw the winning tickets. The kids were sniggering and I realised they had each bought a ticket and hidden it in their palms so they just pulled out their own ticket, literally the top prizes were all taken by the PTA!

The pta team had their backs turned but the kids were loud and obvious and if I could tell, their mums and dads must have noticed.

I do think it’s nice to reward the pta but I think it’s a bit rich to literally take all the prizes!

aibu to spurn the raffle in future?

OP posts:
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CornishTiger · 29/11/2025 20:20

Just found this thread whilst googling for other ways to do a PTA raffle as it is back breaking work at the end of a long day.

What you have said is outrageous and as an active PTA member I’d be horrified if any schools near us did this. Certainly doesn’t happen at ours- we do it in public - our head just won two prizes which is fine she spent a lot on that raffle. None of my committee won a single thing! Luck of draw but I do like it when my committee and helpers get something as they put hours of extra work in and never get to do the other Fayre stuff as stuck on a stall.

I have just been looking for online raffle platforms that do the draw for you ( can’t find one yet) but if we do this in future I’ll be doing it in public and announcing winners at same time!

Needmorelego · 15/11/2025 09:45

@SheinIsShite the caretaker counts as staff so if you needed a neutral witness to the raffle draw then the caretaker would count.

SheinIsShite · 15/11/2025 09:28

hopspot · 14/11/2025 21:48

Who locks up the school after the event has finished?

When we ran PTA events the head would sometimes pop in but wouldn't be there for the whole event. Scotland, so governors are not a thing. When we booked the let with the Council they would arrange for the person we'd call the janny and English people would call the caretaker to be there during the event and to lock up after.

Mydogsmellslikewee · 14/11/2025 22:02

My child’s school is too much of a dive/shithole area to even have a PTA. Too many parents are banned from the grounds for fighting. We have no school events here. It would be carnage.

I miss this kind of shit from when I had my first kid in a middle class area. I LOVED all the PTA drama, bitchiness and in fighting. PTA mums are fucking batshit - I was one of them. best fucking years of my life getting pissed up on gin and doing the tombola at the Christmas fairs.

hopspot · 14/11/2025 21:48

Caulifleur · 14/11/2025 18:30

Well definitely no one has ever been there to make announcements or thank everyone for coming like I’ve seen at other schools. I think the governors run a stall usually but by clear up time there’s no staff around.

Who locks up the school after the event has finished?

PurpleThistle7 · 14/11/2025 21:26

This sounds totally insane. Our raffles are always drawn in public and we are careful not to put our own names in. I have been on the pta for 9 years now and spent endless hours helping at the school and actually felt guilty when (1) my daughter won an art contest and her drawing was on the front of our cookbook. It was anonymous and voted on by the teachers so literally no bias and (2) sometimes I let my kids look at the used books at the fair a few minutes before we opened because otherwise they’d miss out altogether as I was always running something. I clearly lack the ability for high stakes crime lol

SquishyGloopyBum · 14/11/2025 20:52

Sorry but your daughter witnessed this and was upset, yet you are doing nothing? What kind of message does that send to her?

You are very wrong and complicit in keeping quiet.

Bushmillsbabe · 14/11/2025 20:36

Caulifleur · 14/11/2025 18:37

There’s no way I’m sticking my head above the parapet. It would cause an absolute furore.

They are a really hard working team. Two of the mums are quite close friends of mine. They do full time jobs and donate enormous amounts of time to helping the PTA. And though it is a large school (3 classes per year) hardly anyone helps them out, and I have a huge amount of respect for the massive amount of work they do organising lots of wonderful events across the year. The PTA raises a lot of money for the school and provides a lot of enjoyment for kids and families locally.

Perhaps I was just unlucky with what I saw at the events I attended as I do agree with others posts that it seems unlikely they can be doing this all the time as at some point surely someone would notice it!

I was absolutely horrified. I haven’t breathed a word to anyone and I have no intention of doing so.

I do feel complicit - I feel sullied by being there.

An earlier post suggested asking the head to print the names of the Raffle winners in the school newsletter and I think I’ll do that.

I think there is something to do with GDPR that prevents them from publishing a list of winners without their consent - like the lottery has to get consent to do publicity for winners and they have right to remain anonymous.

Screamingabdabz · 14/11/2025 20:06

This is not only immoral and theft but they are encouraging their own children to be dishonest and greedy. I can see the moral dilemma given how close you are to these women but jeez, you can’t let them get away with it. They’re behaving appallingly. And any governors colluding with this are breaching the Nolan principles.

ilovesooty · 14/11/2025 19:30

I'll let them get away with it then

In which case you're complicit.

Luxio · 14/11/2025 19:29

I'm genuinely curious as to why you posted if you're not actually going to do anything about it. It honestly sounds like you're writing a short story or something with the way you're aware it's not acceptable but instead of doing the right thing you would just condone fraud so casually.

RaraRachael · 14/11/2025 19:25

Our raffles were always drawn in public.

I remember once helping at a bottle stall and a local doctor was in charge. He purposely kept the winning ticket for the star prize in his pocket then put it in the mix halfway through the event so that we'd sell more tickets.

ThatChristmasMug · 14/11/2025 19:05

Just go and chat with the head, and ask that draws are made DURING the event , in front of everyone else, and problem solved. Or just start discussing it around, and people will naturally make the change when everybody agrees.

nd so no one ever really notices that the raffles just sort of disappear.
really? that sounds very unlikely.

Every school raffle event I've ever seen brings a dozen of "who won, did I win, what about the raffle, who got the prizes" from some parents. Even when the prize draw was very public but they happened to miss it

SheinIsShite · 14/11/2025 19:00

What's the point of starting this thread then if you are not going to do anything to change it?

Many of us with PTA experience can absolutely relate to the same handful of people organising all the events and doing all the grunt work to make it happen, without a word of thanks and lots of complaints from parents who never lifted a finger but always knew how to do things better. But we managed to put on events with a shoestring budget and the bare minimum helpers, AND STILL BE HONEST ABOUT IT!!

The law about raffles is simple. If you sell tickets in advance for a draw held later (and that would include when everyone has gone home) you need a licence. If you only sell tickets for a draw which takes place later during the same event, you don't. Fixing a raffle in the way described isn't a dodgy raffle, it's taking money under false pretences.

dizzydizzydizzy · 14/11/2025 18:56

I think you should rock the boat, OP. It might be an uncomfortable thing to do but it is the right thing - as long as you are certain about what happened.

Needmorelego · 14/11/2025 18:56

Please report this.
Encouraging children to do something illegal.
Awful.

Coaster1 · 14/11/2025 18:53

Illegal. The Raffle’s governed by the Gaming Commission. Not just a bit shit but illegal

DrCoconut · 14/11/2025 18:49

The only time I organised a raffle I made sure the draw was done in a public place, drawn by someone neutral, my immediate family didn't have tickets and anyone who wanted could be there.

Caulifleur · 14/11/2025 18:46

EleanorPeck · 14/11/2025 18:34

Come on, you know full well it's deliberate. Either stand up and speak to the Head or continue to let them get away with it, it's up to you

I’ll let them get away with it then!

Weirdly, my mum was caught up in PTA fraud in the 80s. She took over as Treasurer in my primary school PTA, and as she was a bookkeeper she quickly realised things were being replaced with alarming frequency - a box of paper towels here, a catering-size tub of coffee granules there, a huge bottle of ketchup etc.Over time the thefts escalated until one day the PTA said it wanted camcorders to record highlights of the events, and six months later no one could find them. They had disappeared from the PTA cupboard. She did some sleuthing and concluded the theft was most likely perpetrated by Mr B. (a parent-governor of good standing who happened to be a local police officer) in collusion with the school secretary. To complicate matters, the male head teacher was notoriously having an ill-concealed affair with the secretary.

Mum had no chance of proving it. She quietly left the post saying she was going to focus on St John’s Ambulance and Sunday school.

So I have always just assumed PTAs are hotbeds of scandalous affairs, theft and corruption!

I know it sounds like I’m making this up . I’m really not!

OP posts:
LoopyLooooo · 14/11/2025 18:44

Choconuts · 14/11/2025 18:43

If they are doing this so brazenly I would wonder what else they are doing? Would be interesting to see their accounts!

Snap!

Time for an audit methinks.

LoopyLooooo · 14/11/2025 18:44

Caulifleur · 14/11/2025 18:37

There’s no way I’m sticking my head above the parapet. It would cause an absolute furore.

They are a really hard working team. Two of the mums are quite close friends of mine. They do full time jobs and donate enormous amounts of time to helping the PTA. And though it is a large school (3 classes per year) hardly anyone helps them out, and I have a huge amount of respect for the massive amount of work they do organising lots of wonderful events across the year. The PTA raises a lot of money for the school and provides a lot of enjoyment for kids and families locally.

Perhaps I was just unlucky with what I saw at the events I attended as I do agree with others posts that it seems unlikely they can be doing this all the time as at some point surely someone would notice it!

I was absolutely horrified. I haven’t breathed a word to anyone and I have no intention of doing so.

I do feel complicit - I feel sullied by being there.

An earlier post suggested asking the head to print the names of the Raffle winners in the school newsletter and I think I’ll do that.

Being 'hardworking' does not give them a licence to steal.

Your friends are thieves, pure and simple and you know it.

I helped to run the PTA at my DC's school for years, and we were nothing other than completely transparent.

If they're happy to steal the prizes, I'd be very interested in seeing how transparent they are with the money raised from each event and who looks after the figures.

Choconuts · 14/11/2025 18:43

If they are doing this so brazenly I would wonder what else they are doing? Would be interesting to see their accounts!

senua · 14/11/2025 18:40

Cool story, bro.

Welcome to MN.

Caulifleur · 14/11/2025 18:37

LoopyLooooo · 14/11/2025 17:17

YABU to not have told them exactly what you saw, and to let them know they'd better start drawing the raffle AT the event like most places do.

That's disgusting behaviour on their part but I feel as though you're complicit if you don't speak up.

That's the important thing here, not whether you personally buy a ticket or not 🙄

There’s no way I’m sticking my head above the parapet. It would cause an absolute furore.

They are a really hard working team. Two of the mums are quite close friends of mine. They do full time jobs and donate enormous amounts of time to helping the PTA. And though it is a large school (3 classes per year) hardly anyone helps them out, and I have a huge amount of respect for the massive amount of work they do organising lots of wonderful events across the year. The PTA raises a lot of money for the school and provides a lot of enjoyment for kids and families locally.

Perhaps I was just unlucky with what I saw at the events I attended as I do agree with others posts that it seems unlikely they can be doing this all the time as at some point surely someone would notice it!

I was absolutely horrified. I haven’t breathed a word to anyone and I have no intention of doing so.

I do feel complicit - I feel sullied by being there.

An earlier post suggested asking the head to print the names of the Raffle winners in the school newsletter and I think I’ll do that.

OP posts:
CosySeason · 14/11/2025 18:36

Wow. Makes me wonder what else they are being corrupt with.

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