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AIBU?

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Partner saying another name in sleep

52 replies

BoysBagsShoes · 14/11/2025 14:36

Not sure if a proper AIBU, but as good as…

Trying to sleep the other night and partner suddenly blurts out another woman’s name in his sleep.
Not previous name of previous partners. I was shocked as he is the solid, dependable type, hates cheaters, ex wife was awful (I’ve heard/seen proof, not just his word).
Could be nothing, but…

  • saw a VPN on his phone the other night
  • has been spending LOTS more time on phone in evenings
  • will often come to bed later than me (I do go up quite early, but not ridiculously so)
  • Will sometimes sleep in spare room ‘to let me sleep’
I am suffering from extreme night sweats and insomnia due to perimenopause. His absolute abhorrence of cheating makes me think nothing, but that niggle is there. We have been through a lot, I can’t think why he would want to rip our lives, and family, apart.
OP posts:
whattodo1113 · 14/11/2025 14:41

I don’t want to upset you. At all.
but… I’ve got a lot of friends in the adult industry & married men are the WORSE. Their wife’s think their hubby is lovely and perfect but there talking to escorts & can girls in the spare room when wife’s are in bed. There all at it honestly you’d be shocked at some stories. On his phone. Coming to bed late. Sleeping in spare room. Come on the signs are all there. Probably talking to can girls and having a w*. I could be totally wrong but I don’t trust a single man. All married men are bored weather women know it or want to admit it. Ask to see his phone. I guarantee he says no x

nomas · 14/11/2025 14:40

Saying a name in his sleep could be anything. I have the strangest dreams about my colleagues, including my boss. I’m sure I’ve said their names in my sleep.