It is my very first time posting here as I feel confused and I do not know whether I did the right thing.
My parents came to visit me and my husband for the first time ever, we recently moved to another contienct away from the UK. My father has always been a strange and unpredictable person, but I tried to put that aside and still invited him and my mother to stay with us.
When we were kids, he used to scream at us, insult us, and sometimes be emotionally abusive. I’ve always believed he might have some sort of bipolar disorder, although he’s never been diagnosed.
Few days ago, he woke up in morning and had coffee with me and my mum. After a while, he suddenly got mad at her because in a picture she took of him, there was a bag visible he said it made him look homeless.
Later, I took them on a walk. My mum asked me to take a picture of them together but he refused to be in the photo, started walking about 30 steps ahead of us and completely stopped talking to us. We sat on a bench for a while, and then he disappeared for about 20 minutes. When he came back, he stood about 20 steps away from us and still wouldn’t speak or come near. We decided to leave and looked around for him, but we couldn’t find him.
We eventually left the place as we were under the impression that he knows how to come back. He did not have his phone, watch, or any money with him.
Bare in mind, this behavours it is not new and he used to do this to us when we were kids - he would not walk with my mum, myself and sister, he would walk in front of us and acts like he doesnt know us. All because he will get mad over something stupiud.
Anyways, after few hours my husband and I went looking for him and couldn’t find him anywhere.
We were always walking on eggshells when we were kids depending on whether he was in a “good” or “bad” mood. I still remember once, in the middle of winter, he got furious because my mum accidentally hit a curb with the car he bought her. He started hitting her, I screamed at him, and he got so angry that he walked off for over an hour in freezing weather. When he came back, he didn’t speak to us for days.
After being gone for hours, we received a phone call from a random person who said my dad had approached her because they spoke a similar language and he told her he was lost. My husband and I went to pick him up. The lady told us he had said he was lost, but when he got in the car, he didn’t say a single word to us. He walked straight into the house, went to his room, and later texted my sister saying he wants to return home as soon as possible And that myself and my mum left him behind.
He came out of the guest room and said I should been ashamed of myself etc and this is where I lost my cool. I started losing my sh** and told him everything.
I spent a lot of money on their trip, and this is the behaviour I get in return.
I asked my mum to stay with us and he can return alone since he wants to go back, but instead she told me she has nothing to do here and she is going with him. I ended up changiing their flights at 10pm for a 7am morning.
I told her we will call them an uber in the morning that it will take them to the airport. Neither of them said anything to me and my husband before they went to bed.
They woke up at 3am in the morning and my husband got up, my father left to do at the ground floor and my mum stayed behind to finish packing. My husband went with my mum in the hall to call the lift for her and told her which car to get in etc. She just said bye to him and that was it.
A day later once they makde it back home, I recive a messge from my mother saying i am no longer their daughter, they had enoufg from me and they never want to see me again, or to call them. I should forget that I have parents.
I thought that as he and her got older, they might realise things and change but it doesn’t seem to be the case.
AITAH for changing their flights or should have let him do what he wants in my home? and still treat me like a crap?
I have also blocked them on everywhere and asked them to send me the money back for theuir flights as I spent around £1500 on their flights.
I know this is extrmele toxic, and I should of never invited them in my home. At the same time, I realised they will never change and my mother will always be his puppy and defend him no matter what.