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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think your Baby Registry list should be limited after #1

139 replies

Outside9 · 14/11/2025 13:06

I often receive baby registry lists as I'm in that phase of life. It shocks me how so many of my friends and relatives, who are on their 2nd or 3rd child+, have such extensive registry lists you would think it was their 1st child.

(Obviously this doesn't necessarily apply to those with big age gaps or surprise accidents).

I have one friend who is having their 2nd, (1st just turned 4) and she has everything from prams, to baby bath etc. My cousin, who about to have her 4th child in (oldest child is 5!!l ) also has something similar. When I had my 2nd, people thought it was strange when I said all I really needed was nappies and wipes. Think it will be the same 3rd time round.

Granted there are standalone items that are needed; naturally you need an additional car seat, or the bottles and changing matt are worn out. But outside of that, if you knew you always intended to have more than one child, surely you should've kept all the baby stuff?

It's Friday, so may as well kill time by getting torn apart by this section. AIBU?

OP posts:
GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 14/11/2025 14:29

Baby registry lists shouldn't exist at all, but as they do it should only be for your first. You shouldn't ask for more stuff for subsequent children.

LavenderSweetPea · 14/11/2025 14:26

I'm mid 30s just outside London, I don't remember anyone circulating a registry for their firsts let alone for their second. I didn't make one for mine (and nobody asked for me to give them one, they just bought whatever they wanted when baby was born). But then I never asked my friends for their registrys, maybe they had one and I just didn't know?

FuzzyWolf · 14/11/2025 14:21

You can say no.

toomuchfaff · 14/11/2025 14:21

That person would get either nothing or a nappy tower and a set of wipes and NOT with great willpower be told they are a CF and to be thankful...

Btowngirl · 14/11/2025 14:19

We have 2 children and haven’t bothered with a baby shower and haven’t written a baby wish list. I just feel uncomfortable about asking people to buy us stuff for a baby we chose to have..

IamIfeel · 14/11/2025 14:17

ELMhouse · 14/11/2025 14:13

I’m 42 been to lots of baby showers across the country and over the years never had a registry. I’ve got 3DC ranging from 12-19.

Ive asked the mum to be if they need anything before but never had a gift list enforced for a baby.

Show quote history

Yeah, that's more my experience. I didn't want a baby shower but I did get some nice gifts (clothes, etc) from some friends and a couple of relatives asked if we wanted anything which we declined. I've never been presented with a registry for a baby.

In fact, I can't remember the last time I was sent a registry for a wedding either. Everyone just asks for donations to charity, honeymoon of often make it clear they want nothing.

Itsallbullshite · 14/11/2025 14:15

Baby sprinkles and registers...... what sort of hell are we in. They would both be a hard no from me. So grabby.

ELMhouse · 14/11/2025 14:13

IamIfeel · 14/11/2025 14:01

I'm 40! I have a 2 year old.

Show quote history

I’m 42 been to lots of baby showers across the country and over the years never had a registry. I’ve got 3DC ranging from 12-19.

Ive asked the mum to be if they need anything before but never had a gift list enforced for a baby.

Original poster
Outside9 · 14/11/2025 14:09

BrightSpark10 · 14/11/2025 14:01

I wonder how many years ago some of your had children?

I’m in my 30s and I’ve seen/heard about baby registry list many times. It’s not compulsory, people chose to buy gifts for expecting mother, if you don’t want to buy a gift don’t buy one then I really don’t see massive issue here.

Most are early-mid 30s.

Of course it's not compulsory, but we all have social contracts based on implied expectations. I don't think I was suggesting it's a major issue, but rather seeking views for lighthearted discussion.

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 14/11/2025 14:09

Agreed. Mind you l don’t agree with baby showers or registry’s. Grabby and common. After the 1st child then even worse

BillieWiper · 14/11/2025 14:05

'Surprise accidents.'

'Hello, I failed to use contraception so now have an unexpected pregnancy. Therefore please find attached this extensive list of things you need to buy for me'.

Yeah. I'd be politely declining that request.

BrightSpark10 · 14/11/2025 14:01

I wonder how many years ago some of your had children?

I’m in my 30s and I’ve seen/heard about baby registry list many times. It’s not compulsory, people chose to buy gifts for expecting mother, if you don’t want to buy a gift don’t buy one then I really don’t see massive issue here.

IamIfeel · 14/11/2025 14:01

Outside9 · 14/11/2025 13:45

@ELMhouse @IamIfeel @GAJLY @MeganM3

Yes I'm in the UK! London specifically.

I mean sometimes they're also called Baby Wishlist? But it's pretty common in my life

I'm actually quite a surprised so many have said this isn't a thing. Perhaps generational or cultural?

Edited

I'm 40! I have a 2 year old.

LeedsZebra90 · 14/11/2025 13:59

It's a very American thing in my eyes. I'd definitely roll my eyes and not be participating if anyone sent me a link to one in the UK - I'm mid 30s with loads of friends with young kids and it hasn't happened yet.

Toottooot · 14/11/2025 13:57

You have the baby - you pay for it. Baby showers are tacky enough without a fucking registry - or a ‘sprinkle.’ 🙄

Dartmoorcheffy · 14/11/2025 13:57

Is this a cultural or upper class thing. Ive never heard of it in the UK.

FoxLoxInSox · 14/11/2025 13:55

Outside9 · 14/11/2025 13:51

I should have added that many of my friends/ family also have "baby sprinkles" i.e. kinda like a mini-baby shower.

I've been invited to a close friend's that is £60 for set menu dinner. As they are close, its awkward to say no.

WTAF????? 🤦🏼‍♀️

purplecorkheart · 14/11/2025 13:54

I have neither heard of a baby registry and certainly not baby sprinkles.

I have been to one babyshower in my life. That was in my workplace and consisted of seven people and was as informal as you could get.

FoxLoxInSox · 14/11/2025 13:54

Oh jeez. Is this the logical conclusion from the madness that is baby showers???

(see also: ‘gender’ reveal nonsense, week-long hen holidays etc).

Yes, I feel old (young Gen X). And I thank fuck I am.

Londonnight · 14/11/2025 13:54

I have never been to a baby shower. None of my adult children had them either.

I have never heard of a baby registry either.

Original poster
Outside9 · 14/11/2025 13:51

I should have added that many of my friends/ family also have "baby sprinkles" i.e. kinda like a mini-baby shower.

I've been invited to a close friend's that is £60 for set menu dinner. As they are close, its awkward to say no.

OP posts:
PurBal · 14/11/2025 13:46

My youngest is 2 and I’ve never heard of this either. Very few baby showers either.

Original poster
Outside9 · 14/11/2025 13:45

@ELMhouse @IamIfeel @GAJLY @MeganM3

Yes I'm in the UK! London specifically.

I mean sometimes they're also called Baby Wishlist? But it's pretty common in my life

I'm actually quite a surprised so many have said this isn't a thing. Perhaps generational or cultural?

OP posts:
GAJLY · 14/11/2025 13:34

I've never heard of such a thing?! I'm here in the UK. I didn't need anything with baby number 2 apart from nappies and wipes! I had my original pushchair, car seat, toys etc. Do we think some people are selling them instead of saving them?

Tillow4ever · 14/11/2025 13:27

The only list I’ve ever been sent for a baby was my out of touch brother in law who sent a list (15 years ago now) with nothing cheaper than £50 on it (which was obviously more expensive than £50 is these days). He was living mortgage free, he had his wife both had individual salaries more than double our combined salary and he had bought a teddy bear for your two children when they’d been born (that we were most grateful for and hadn’t asked for anything). He was most put out when we clubbed up with other brother in law to buy one item between us because we also intended to buy a nice outfit and teddy when the baby was born.

People who present you with a baby registry are grabby fuckers and you should ignore them. Obviously if you want to buy them something and have asked for suggestions, a mixture of items is helpful to choose from.

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