To think your Baby Registry list should be limited after #1

Registry's are not a thing round me or in my friend group. It's an American import but probably popular in London (or other large cities) or in places where there are quite a few Americans living (usually military bases).

The only think I've seen is perhaps the mother or mother in law off the expectant parents to be buying the pram/ cot/ car seat (or other big ticket item). For example my best friends mum and mother in law clubbed money together and bought their pram/ car seat bundle - friend chose it. But the expecting couple usually get everything else. Usual baby shower gifts from close friends are: outfits, baby hampers (with nappies/ wipes ect), nice baby towels/ blankets/ muslins, cuddlies/ comforters or toys.

I don’t think it’s acceptable for parents to have a baby registry at all to be honest. I’m a generous person and love to buy my friends gifts when they’ve had their baby, but it’s more pop up books, the Sophie giraffes, cute babygro’s and the like rather than a pram, bottle steriliser etc that should really be the parents responsibility to buy. I appreciate it’s a thing in the US and I totally accept that there it’s the norm and has associated etiquette around it. But it’s not normal to do that in the UK and I think if you want a baby you should accept you are going to have to shell out on all the associated essentials. Plus I think if you are asking for expensive items before the baby is born, you are then going to miss out on the really thoughtful presents or gestures that come naturally from friends and family. When I had my son, my best friend brought round a lovely hamper with baby rattles, teething gel, nappy rash cream, a pack of babygros etc, and then also came round with a bag full of easy to cook food from M&S and loads of snacks. Stuff that you don’t always realise you are going to need in those early days of parenting! I’d much rather that than someone feeling obliged and then resentful that they bought me a Moses basket because it was on the list I’d demanded they buy from.

Pfft anyone who had the barefaced cheek to give me a baby registry list would be getting something off Temu.

Anything 2nd hand for babies/toddlers was very much frowned upon when I was living among a largely Mediterranean-culture community. 2nd hand would mean you couldn’t afford new, which to them was something to be ashamed of.

So although I had a perfectly usable pram (carry cot on wheels, used for both dds) it wasn’t exactly in showroom condition, so I didn’t offer it to anybody - until a woman I didn’t know very well, but who struck me as less status conscious than most, had a 4th baby and was seen walking around with it just in her arms.

So I offered my pram to her, and, phew, it was gratefully accepted.

I’m in London and have never seen this. Awful!!!

My child is 7 and i have never heard of this

Was going to say the same.

I'd be ignoring that, first baby or tenth baby!

I did assume you were American, but you aren't?! I have 3 children, youngest is only 4 and I never had a baby shower (I didn't want one, they are tacky, my friends thought the same) and I have never had anyone send me a baby registry, if you decide to have a baby you pay for it!

We bought everything ourselves (bar a few big items grandparents wanted to buy and stuff second hand from friends) and then we reused everything we could for the next 2 children. People bought us lots of lovely gifts, outfits, toys, personalised things etc that they chose, once the baby arrived. I couldn't imagine sending a list of items around asking for stuff, surely people just send a small gift once the baby arrives safely, if they wish. My close friends bought my first child a nursery rhyms book (probably something else too I cant remember) and they all wrote a lovely message inside it. That meant far more to me than a pile of stuff I awkwardly asked people to buy.

I'm 39 and it wasn't a common thing in my circle of friends. However my youngest sister is 30 and her friendship group have just started having children and this is very much a thing.

I think it is up to the prospective parents to buy their own big ticket items like prams and cots. If they let grandparents but them then fair enough buy it shouldn't be an expectation. I resent being told what to do though so any kind of registry gets my back up and this is a very much me problem!

I have received many presents when my children were born. Clothes that were too small or not to my taste were exchanged or donated. Toiletries were used and toys and books were used and cherished.

Bit random and slightly off topic.

In "Steel Magnolias", one of the women has a surprise baby shower on Halloween.

Dolly Parton says: "I've always wanted to give a baby shower with a monster motif!"

Sounds frightfully specific, not to mention niche.

Anyway, as you were.

My exact thought!

DC6 went to her cousins "baby" related events. I picked her up after one and ex said to me "I think I have spent more on her baby before its here than we spent on DD!". She had a reveal, then a shower, then a "birth celebration" (that one is new, I think it was about presents for the mother rather than the baby) and then the Christening. First birthday is next month.

OP you have given me a great idea. I have a relative who is going to be 75 next year - I think I'll have a Wrinkle Sprinkle for him 😂

Nope.

Parents are responsible for providing for their own children, possibly with one or two larger items bought by the grandparents. Gifts are given by other people after the baby is safely born.

many of my friends/ family also have "baby sprinkles" i.e. kinda like a mini-baby shower.

🤮

Is this the sort of idiot that gets rid of all their baby stuff as they go in the name of decluttering and are then surprised to want the same stuff (but new! Shiny! fashionable!) second time round?

The UK seems to have imported the concept of baby showers from the US, but not the associated etiquette. Then people in the UK do things like throw their own shower for their fourth baby, and people start sniping about “American-influenced gift grabs” when most Americans would be appalled by the bad manners.
Also, you don’t send someone the registry. The invitation should say, preferably in small print, “Jennifer is registered on Amazon and at Crate and Barrel” (or whatever).

Well said.

Jump on the concept while ignoring the actual etiquette and then moan about “Americanism”.

Are you or your friends from the US?

I am curious why you say you are from London, yet use American English. Here it would be a 'gift list' or 'wish list'.

I didnt tell her that DS (and future DD) had/would both be sleeping the repainted cot that had housed (in order) my cousin, my cousin, my aunts God daughter, me and then my sister!

I loved that it had such family history, she would have been disgusted! But then things like prams worked their ways around entire families for years once and I guess our family didnt lose that mindset!

What nonsense is this - baby showers are bad enough now we have ‘registry lists’ and ‘baby sprinkles’ - I wouldn’t be party to any of it!! People need to pay for their own kids!!

I think it’s crazy to have a baby registry. I have a family member who’s expecting her first, we’ve already gone to a gender reveal where we bought a present, now she’s having a baby shower that we’re having to pay for and she has a registry. It’s so expensive for a baby that isn’t mine!.

I’m expecting my 2nd baby and I had none of these things. We chose to have a baby, so we paid for everything ourselves, of course grandparents wanted to chip in with some things but that was it. I can’t imagine expecting other people to put money towards your baby.

This is bizarre. I’m 37, have three children aged 4 and under, and lived in zone 2 until a few months ago. Have never heard of anyone having a baby registry or a baby “sprinkle”. Thank goodness. 😂

In my circle is is relatively new (my generation) that you get anything for the baby before it is born (other than car seat and newborn babygros/nappies to take it home in) anyway, let alone holding a celebration with all your friends and family before you know the baby and the mother have both actually made it through the birth OK…