Parents bought sister a house

Depends what your principles are, and what you believe fairness actually to be.

Well, it's not her you should be annoyed with. It's your parents.

Perhaps your parents decided leaving the money with your dsis is the most tax efficient thing to do. If they survive 7 years, it's possible.

Perhaps that leaves them able to leave £1m split between the two remaining sisters under the current IHT laws.

Why don't you talk to them instead of getting all bitter and twisted?

“I live with my girlfriend and son who is 18 months old.”

its right there in the OP

It's not the money though, it's the principle. If the OP thought his parents loved them equally, there wouldn't be an issue. But spending vastly more on one child than other is a statement of preference - and that hurts when you're the least-favoured one.

Similar happened here. MIL gave Sil half the cost of a flat, then paid to renovate and convert the loft. Then another deposit for a 2nd flat. Then when she decided they were too small she gave her a 4 bed house in a very £££ area and fully gutted and redid it for her too. Also a BMW for a birthday. Yes 2nd hand but still. DH got a 2nd shirt for his birthday.

It's upsetting more for the difference in treatment than the actual money.

MIL is very proud of her hard working DD and the start of her property empire!

Very similar issue in my own family. Sister (middle child, I am the oldest) has had endless handouts, been helped with a mortgage, mum and dad have paid for her house to be extended and everything from her car to the various courses she's 'had' to do to get a career (she's never actually had a full-time job). She's weaponised her divorce and being a single mum to get them to keep giving her money, but I'm also a single mum, and haven't had a penny of help from them. I haven't asked though as - like the OP - I've been conditioned not to. When we were kids, I had to get a part-time job and pay for my own clothes, hair cuts etc but she just got given the same. Ironically it's because Mum said she always wanted us to have 'the same' so if I do well, she's always just given the same thing to my sister. Unsurprisingly my sister is insanely entitled. She also gets very confrontational when it's suggested she's had preferential treatment. Both mum and my sister will lie to my face about what she's been given. It's pretty obvious that someone without a job couldn't pay for an extension though!

My mum seems to avoid speaking to me as much as she can - it's pretty hurtful tbh. Either she doesn't like me or feels guilty about the unequal treatment or both. I've thought about going NC but even though she's shit, she's still my mum, and I want her to have a relationship with my kids (her GC).

Another day, another post about adult kids moaning about what parents do with their hard earned money ! Phew!

How wealthy are you compared with your sister? My parents help my sister out a lot more than they do me. But I am better off than my sister, so I have no issues at all with it.

You didn’t ask! She did!!

Use your voice, please. All this whining without having a straightforward conversation is very childish.

I couldn’t let this one drop and absolutely would be speaking with my parents !

it would be enough to cause permanent rift between me, my parents and sibling

Thought so, OP. It rarely is about just money. Sending love and solidarity; it is deeply unfair and hurtful (even though it is also likely that your sister's will come back to bite her in many ways).

It's horrible, of course it's not BU to be upset that they play favourites.

No parent would wait for children to ASK to treat them equally, you just do.
I can't comprehend people like that. Best way to ensure the children never speak to each other again.

Your only option is to ask, you shouldn't have to, but at least you can try that.
And go from there.

Sadly, it's usually the spoiled brat and the ones who take advantage who disappear later on when parents need help, and leave all the work and care to the others, brace yourself!

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. What about having a browse of the larger properties you were looking at in the future, then asking your parents if you can have the money for the upgrade?

I can see why you are annoyed. However, I agree with other posters that if you havent asked for help then this isn't really your parents fault. In general I think parents should treat siblings equally to avoid this type of issue but I also think everyone's circumstances are different. If you havent spoken to your parents you also dont know if they do plan to even it out eventually ie do they have money they would happily give you if/ when you ask? Or maybe they plan to even it out via inheritance etc. Myself and all my siblings had some form of help buying our first homes but we did this many years apart when we actually asked. My parents have also helped us all with different things over the years (some gifted and some loaned)- my IVF, my sisters wedding etc- im not keeping score as its their money and i know they would try to help any of us if we asked. I think it would be much better to just ask for the help you need instead of fixating on what your sister has had and allowing resentment to build until it ends in a family fued. At the very least you will get the full story on the situation with your sister which you may not currently have!

Am sorry, that's hard to swallow, esp the part where she now feels hard done by.

To everyone saying it's just a matter of 'having the balls to ask', just consider that years of differential treatment (compounded by the OP's sister getting stroppy when the issue is raised) are likely to make it very difficult to 'just ask'.

I kind of get it. My parents gave both my older and younger sister 10k each for a house deposit and gave me nothing. I think, if they wanted to they would have so I wouldn't ask them (they're divorced now). I think part of it is they don't approve of my choices as much (single mum, work in care). It is what it is. Weirdly I am probably closer emotionally to everyone in the family.

If you say they can afford to do it for you also, ask them. That's what your sister did. Tbf they'd have to have a strong argument not to.

'Please can you help me with a deposit and moving costs of £30k?'
'No.'
'Why not? When you gifted my sister a £500k house?'
'erm...'

Just ask you parents nicely if it's possible that you and your sister have a lump sum too, to help like little sister did? See what they say. If they accept then that's great. If they decline then they obviously have favourites. That would make me upset for sure. But you need to ask before deciding anything.

So basically you’re quietly seething about not getting something you want but haven’t asked for, while your sister did get something she wants and did ask for.

What do you want your parents to do? Rescind the gift and tell their child actually she does have to repay the loan? Give you the same amount of money? Talk about things? Change their wills? What do you want to happen?

Its not your sisters fault that you and your other sister dont have the balls to ask your parents for similar. Yabu.

You need to stand up for yourself.

You don't say if you are planning any kids or if you have any.

But this is 500k that you potential kids will not have.

This will affect your family's lifestyle significantly.

You need to broach the subject and ask whether they are going to give you and your other sister the same assistance?