Parents bought sister a house

Well this is ridiculous. Talk to them!!!

It seems unfair on paper but it might not be all as it seems. I would not dream of asking mÿ parents for this kind of loan, either, but your sister was ready to pay back the loan and told she didn't need to. Although your parents have not been explicit, it could well be that they have adjusted the amount your sister has had so that you and your other sister have more in the will to even things up. We have bought our eldest son a house because he is disabled and we wanted him to be settled long before anything happened to us. We spoke to our other son and daughter and have made it clear that they will be treated equally by inheriting the equivalent amount in our will. They also know that when/if they are ready to buy a house, we will help them if we possibly can. It sounds as if your parents would be willing to help you if you asked outright rather than hinting.

Surely the parents can see that the other two will feel badly treated if there isn't some future arrangement put in place even if they don't want to give them money now? I would certainly be asking if this inequality will be ironed out in wills etc..

😯 that would suck!

Jesus Christ! My parents also (very kindly) gifted me 500k for a house but my sibling also - they would NEVER think of just doing it for just one of us. I would be massively upset my that, as anyone would.

OP, you really need to talk to your parents about this. If you don't communicate, your resentment will become unmanageable. Communication is the key. Approach them with calmness and curiosity rather than anger. For all you know, your sister has a vulnerability that you don't know about. Or they are going to make it even in their will but haven't told you because they haven't got round to altering it yet.

Until you TALK to them, you just don't know.

Oh dear. Well, you're not alone. My mum bought my brother a coastal house in a lovely Cornish town for him and his wife to live in. Meanwhile, my husband and I have struggled for every penny to survive in our rental flat. It's been a right bloody mess to be honest - I did eventually ask what her plan was since apparently she "loves us equally" and I think she finally understands why I feel so neglected. However, there's no way she can magic a second house up for us (and nor would I want her to!). It's just the principle. She now she's very sorry, but I can't help but resent it. It's been quite the fodder for therapy, and things will never be equal again.

It's really infuriating when they can't see the unequal treatment.

However, you won't change them. So you'll either have to bite the bullet and copy her tactics and ask, or accept that they're never going to offer you money.

It's shit, but that's the reality of the situation you are in.

My older sister got given a house. I then got told my younger sister was getting everything on my parents death and I would get nothing because I was married. Hit me and dh were always struggling to get by. My younger sister had more money than me and no dc at the time. I cut them all off.
However in your circumstances op I would definitely check. It may be that they are setting something aside. But tread carefully, it sounds like you do not openly talk about money.

YANBU to resent the help your sister gets, I would be pissed off too. However, YABU to say you don’t have enough space in your 3 bed house for you, your partner and an 18 month year old!

I would ask your parents for help upgrading your home if that’s what you want.

OP I'm curious how you "discovered" the ins and outs of the financials?

I really empathise with you. My sister has always been favoured. My parents have bought her an entire set up too and I’ve worked hard all my life and struggle to pay for nursery fees and mortgage. If I raise it I get looked at as though I’m a horrible selfish brat, despite everyone else we know seeing how obvious the favouritism is. It’s difficult. I don’t have any advice really, but I feel your pain.

My parent has given my siblings thousands and thousands of pounds over the years and has given me Jack shit. In fact they once gave me an old camera of theirs and then badgered me to give them the 30 quid. Took 200 quid off me for my first car when I was leaving home for my very first poorly paid job 5 hours away. I mostly try not to let it bother me but to be honest it really hurts and it pollutes my relationship with them. Not sure I could keep my mouth shut if it was half a million though

Out of curiosity - is this even legal in the UK ( assume you're in the UK)?
Aren't there any tax implications to essentially donating half a million pounds to a family member?
(In my home country that would be considered "early inheritance" and somewhat taxable)

I've seen parents claim they were doing this but then the rest of their estate was taken up by care home fees so there was nothing left for the other children when they died.

Oh come on. One of them is moaning that took his kid shopping whilst babysitting. No wonder they don't offer!
They offered to lend him money, he had a strop and said no.

You need to ask you parents first the help you need. Even if you feel conditioned not to and not get mad at your sister. It’s your parents you’re mad at.

don’t make it a comparison, don’t bring up your sister. Just start asking until it feels natural.

That's really unfair. I had a quick look at the threads and it seems to me that OP is maybe only beginning to see how wrong the dynamics of his family are. The sister is very much favoured in all scenarios, I don't think he's wrong to feel how he does. For you to reduce his feeling to 'whining' shows you lack any understanding of how these type of families can treat siblings so differently and the effects that can have on someone. Or maybe you're the favoured one so you just don't get it.

Ask. If they're anything like my parents they will have made a note of what they've given each child and what's left when they die will be spread accordingly so that it's fair

Yes I’d ask if you and your other sister will be receiving £500k each soon.

It’s not really acceptable is it. I think you are well within your right to outwardly tell them the differential treatment has upset you. They have sat by and watched you struggle to make ends meet while baby sister is handed huge amounts of money. It’s not fair and it will affect your relationship moving forward. Not “because of money” but because you don’t feel anywhere near as cared for or considered as your younger sister. They’ve never suggested to help you out in even a much smaller way than what they leapt to help your DSis with.

Bloody hell I'd be so upset if my parents gave such a huge life changing sum of money to just one sibling. It's grossly unfair and does show favouring the younger sister.
I know it's their money but this would really upset me.
You ought to have a frank conversation with your parents.

If you asked for help would they help you?

as someone said if you don’t ask you don’t get. Find some audacity

Agree with this. I grew up with parents who were very fair with my brother and I, even down to small things we were always given equivalent amounts. I do the same with my daughters, I could not give one of them such a huge sum and not the other. The fair thing would have been to split whatever money they had available to give between the three of you equally.