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Original poster

Parents bought sister a house

258 replies

MikeL1993 · 14/11/2025 11:51

I am the middle child between two sisters and there is 5 years between me and my older and younger sisters.

Me and my younger sister both own a three bed semi detached house, she lives with her husband and I live with my girlfriend and son who is 18 months old. The week after my son was born it was announced that my sister and her husband had bought a house. And we were all happy for them but then it turned out what had actually happened was they had approached my parents and asked them to lend them money so they could buy an old bungalow, raise it to the ground and build a new house and we were told that they would sell their current house after they have moved into this rebuilt house and then somehow pay my parents back the money they borrowed but everyone seemed vague about how that would happen.

Fast forward to now and they are almost ready to move in but the buyers of their current house have pulled out but it is not affecting any chain. Anyway we have now discovered that my parents have told them not to pay them back so with everything included have basically gifted my youngest sister half a million pounds or in that region.

Obviously this is now creating resentment for me and my older sister. It has been mentioned in passing that me and my gf are struggling for space in our house but we are having to make do until we can afford something bigger but that wont be for a number of years yet.

I think I am feeling most resentful because not only has my sister and her husband been gifted a house but when they had a big extravagant wedding back in Summer my parents paid for 90% of it whereas I am working all the hours I can and after bills and nursery fees etc I am having very little to show for it whilst my parents have given all this to my little sister and don't seem to understand why I am annoyed.

This is also not including that the money they have given my sister and her husband over the years with other stuff whereas I have basically been left to fend for myself.

Am I being unreasonable or am I justified in feeling annoyed?

OP posts:
GingerBreadMamm · 14/11/2025 12:19

MikeL1993 · 14/11/2025 12:14

Yes they are wealthy and they could help me and my sister if they wanted to. But my older sister is like me and wouldn't have the nerve to in the first place ask for a loan for that sort of me like originally happened. But additionally I had a new kitchen and bathroom in Summer and took out extra money against my mortgage to fund it and they never offered any help.

Show quote history

They never OFFERED help to your sister either, she asked.

Ask your parents if you are getting half a million too like your sister, if they say no then you can start getting pissed!

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 12:18

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 14/11/2025 12:17

Ask your parents to help you?

This. Even if they say no, at least you will hear how they justify the different treatment that your younger sister has been given.

Bootsies · 14/11/2025 12:17

if you don't have the balls to raise it there isn't really anything you can do.

WeepingAngelInTheTardis · 14/11/2025 12:17

Ask your parents to help you?

Original poster
MikeL1993 · 14/11/2025 12:14

Bootsies · 14/11/2025 11:58

are your parents very wealthy (500k is just an insane amount to gift)? Could the afford the same for you and your sister? I would feel miffed too. Have you and your older sister asked your parents outright if you will receive similar help? Some posters will tell you your parents are entitled to do with their money as they please but if you all have good relationships, it is just odd. I would raise it and take things from there. I couldn't imagine treating my DC so differently.

Edited

Yes they are wealthy and they could help me and my sister if they wanted to. But my older sister is like me and wouldn't have the nerve to in the first place ask for a loan for that sort of me like originally happened. But additionally I had a new kitchen and bathroom in Summer and took out extra money against my mortgage to fund it and they never offered any help.

OP posts:
Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 14/11/2025 12:08

Something similar happened in my mother's family. The falling out that resulted lasted decades and was only superficially repaired prior to death.

Could you approach your DPs about this? If it's too awkward to do it on your own behalf, perhaps you could ask them re your other sister, if she is struggling, are they intending to help her out too? They can read between the lines that you are asking about yourself too if they want to. Because singling out one child to the detriment of others is very wrong.

RealChristmasBaby · 14/11/2025 12:03

All children should be treated the same by their parents as it otherwise causes resentment.

You'd have to be a saint not to be pissed off about that! How could any parent think that is fair?

Bootsies · 14/11/2025 11:58

are your parents very wealthy (500k is just an insane amount to gift)? Could the afford the same for you and your sister? I would feel miffed too. Have you and your older sister asked your parents outright if you will receive similar help? Some posters will tell you your parents are entitled to do with their money as they please but if you all have good relationships, it is just odd. I would raise it and take things from there. I couldn't imagine treating my DC so differently.